Plus One

“What do you mean you don’t understand?” She asks as if there is really some secret to her madness. “I just don’t get it. First you say I have to go, and now that I want to go you’re telling me I can’t go as if I have a real choice in the matter.” “Well I just don’t want you there okay?” “Why? Because it is some sort of girl thing?” “It’s my bachelorette party so yes it is a girl’s only type of thing.” “I’m going to be there for the marriage so is it really that big of a deal that I go to the party?”  “It’s a huge deal Steven. This party is for me not you.” “Well it’s kind of for me too,” I interrupt. “No it does not have anything to do with you. It is my party and I really don’t want you there.” “There’s no reason to get upset at me Stacy. It’s not my fault things worked out this way. It’s hard enough that you’re getting married and I’m still single.” “Well how do you think I feel about? Don’t you think that this whole situation is even more stressful to me? Regardless though you’re not coming and that is final.” “So what am I suppose to do? Sit outside? Where is this stupid party even at?” “My party’s not stupid and it’s going to be here at the house which means you are going to have to sit behind the curtain.” “Sounds like a blast. Is Stan at least going to be here?” “What part of it’s a girl thing are you not understanding?” She moans out of annoyance. “I’m so glad we don’t have to share a brain.” “Nope just a stomach and a lung,” I say with a slight sneer. “And for your information I was asking if Stan was going to be on the other side of the curtain with me.” “Okay well still no. Stan will be at his own party because that is what happens when two people get married. They each have their own party’s to celebrate one last day of freedom.” “I know that Stacy. Thanks for clearing that up for me.” “I’m glad and just so we are crystal clear Stan will not be at this party, the house next door, or anywhere near here. You will be behind the curtain, you will be quite, and you will not interfere with my party.” “That’s just great. Not only do I not get to go to the bachelor party, but I have to sit on the other side of a curtain, alone, while you have all the fun.” “Yep, that about sums up your plans for this evening,” she say while laying out the plates and cups for the party. “Do you think one of the ladies will come and sit with me?” I ask in a fake depressed sounding tone. “That’s a big N.O. They all think that you are weird so the chance of one of them leaving the party just to hang out with you is pretty slim.” “Wait they think that I am weird? How could they even think that I am weird? If I am weird than you’re weird too. We share the same body.” “Do we now?” She asks sarcastically. “They think you are weird because you are always staring at them.” “Well that is a very unfair opinion about me since you’re always telling me to be quiet whenever they are around and I’m a guy so of course I’m going to stare every time they want to show you the new under wear they purchased or in the girls locker room.” There’s a knock at the door, “I’ve had enough with this argument Steven. It is time to be quiet the guest are starting to arrive. Will you walk me to the door?” “Do I have a choice?” “Just stay silent and behave Steven, and I will take you to the comic book shop first thing in the morning.” “Fine, but please try to not drink that much. You know how sick I get afterwards.” “I’ll try to refrain from drinking too much. Now zip it or no comics,” she says before putting on her best fake smile and opening the door.

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