The Date Rapist

“You can’t sit there,” a voice out of nowhere exclaims. “Why the fuck not?” I ask into the darkness. “There is a rapist on the loose. Well a date rapist or something like that. He might even be you. I don’t know,” the voice without a face says. “Why is it always a man? How come it is never some big breasted, sexy woman who is out to get everyone using nothing but her vagina to seek revenge? Always a man and his oh so powerful dick coming to wreak havoc on the world,” I huff. I still haven’t managed to look for the source of the voice. It has to belong to a woman. “Are you serious right now?” She asks. I don’t bother responding. “Women can’t rape men. Everyone knows that. How the hell would that even work anyways? Rape is an act of anger and hate forced onto an individual that isn’t willing to participate sexually,” she informs me. “What are you a fucking dictionary?” I ask. “Know what it doesn’t matter because you are wrong. A woman can rape a man in more ways than one. Just because their dick is hard doesn’t mean that they want to have sex. That is the same as saying because a woman was all wet it means she wanted it. She wanted it so badly. We are programmed to fuck in a subconscious level even if we don’t want to,” I interject.  “You are raping my ears right now with your dirty talk,” the voice says. “Then you have the whole other level of raping that doesn’t even involve dicks. I mean anything can be inserted into an anus from a finger to an action figure. So really to say a woman can’t rape a man is wrong. She can if she really wanted to. Granted she would have to overpower the man, but the same drugs men use to accomplish their goal are also available to women. Let’s face it though most men are little bitches now a days anyways so, really a woman might not even need drugs in the first place,” proudly proving my point. “What the hell is wrong with you?” She asks in disgust. “Hey you brought up the topic of rapist and some ignorant shit about how women couldn’t possibly be one,” I answer. “Oh so now I am ignorant because I don’t believe a woman can rape a man. That sounds real intelligent. You are so smart I wish I could be as smart and stupid as you. I was just trying to be safe and now I’m the bad guy,” She had more to say but gets interrupted. “Excuse me do we have a problem here?” A male voice asks from out of no where. “Oh fuck,” we both exclaim in unison. I reach for my pepper spray. Spraying the little can in no general direction towards the male voice. She apparently had the same idea as me. We don’t stop spraying until our cans are empty. The pepper spray mist cloud clears and we stand there watching as the man lies on the ground kicking and screaming. The strong stench of urine coming up from where he lays. There is a dark outline growing around the crotch of his uniform that becomes visible even in the shallow light of the street lamp. “I’m a fucking cop,” he screams rubbing his eyes. “What do we do?,” I shout before dropping the can of pepper spray. “Let’s get the fuck out of here,” a big breasted and sexy woman suggests. To scarred to do anything else we run into the darkness to afraid to look back.

3 thoughts on “The Date Rapist”

  1. Hmmmm…..gender stereotypes commentary juxtaposed with dark humour and lots of swearing and of course the epic line of, “…sexy woman who is out to get everyone using nothing but her vagina to seek revenge? “. Fantastic. You are one unique being, L

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you… it was an odd tale… I didn’t like it at first because it seemed very anti woman… which is something I don’t want to promote… My intent was to always write a weird funny story…. I’m glad you enjoyed it…

      Liked by 1 person

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