A Lie Preview

A Lie is now available on Kindle. Don’t have a Kindle? It can be read using the free Kindle app on your computer, tablet, or cellphone. Feel free to contact me on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Back in the U.S.S.R.

If I bashed my head into a wall every time someone tried to screw me over at work I would have been dead a long time ago. After yesterday I really don’t want to be here, but at least I have tomorrow off. Not that being at home is any better than being here. At least I am alone at home and can deal with my own personal demons by myself. My car wouldn’t start this morning so I had to get a ride from my mom, and she will be picking me up again when I get off. I hate getting rides from my mom. It makes me feel like a child plus it now means I have to stand outside in the freezing cold to smoke. It has to be at least twenty degrees out tonight, but it is probably not that cold. The sun didn’t come out today and it’s been at least two days since I have seen the sun. The clouds are a murky shade of gray and they remind me of a famous painting. I can’t think of the painting or what it is called, but the sky looks as if it is sick and its gloomy colors spread across the town. I haven’t done much today at work, mostly because when it looks like this no one wants to come out of their houses. I’m sure it will snow again today if it is really as cold as it feels, and add another inch or two to the piles of snow that still remain. The snow has been slowly melting for weeks creating a slush of dirt and disgust. Discarded and hidden trash has started to emerge all around the sides of the streets and in everyone’s yards. It won’t be long until all the snow is gone and the town will look like a war torn garbage dump for a few weeks. When the snow melts and the truth comes out is when Jamestown shows its true colors. There is no more hiding behind walls of snow, no more buried lies as the run down houses become more visible and the yards their usual over grown selves. I still have ten more minutes on my break, but it’s too cold to stand out here and do nothing.

An hour after I get back from break the boy only known as Bobby came into the store to meet me. I have to admit I was very confused by this as we were supposed to meet in a few days, and as he is talking to me all I can think about is if this is the day or what day is it really. One of my co-workers also happens to be up front when he stops in. Her name is Ashley and she has been trying to get me to come out with her and her friends for months. So of course when he brings up the fact that we are going out to do something later on this week she wants to join us. At first I try to talk her out of it because I really don’t want her to come, but then I figure at least I will know someone in what is gearing up to be a very awkward evening. Bobby leaves and for the last hour of my shift all she talks about is how excited she is about us all hanging out while I pretend to be just as excited about something I really don’t want to do. She wants to go here and she wants to go there. She managed to get Bobby’s number and she hands me hers. She thinks we should meet up here at work and then go from there. The rest of the details are vague as I stop listening to her and nod my head as if I care. She keeps smiling at me and it feels strange. I’ve known her long enough to know she is a friendly person and acts this way towards everyone. Though today it feels different. The hour passes and I tell her I will see her later this week. Her excitement is already killing me I think as I clock out and go outside. My mom is already waiting for me which is pretty awesome because it has to be colder out here than it was last time. Still no snow, the clouds were a lie. My mom asks how my day was and is overjoyed that Ashley will be joining us. “She is that really cute girl up front right?” she asks. I answer with a sure and I guess, but I quickly stop talking. I just want to get home and wait out my days. Of course last week I try to get out of this so I told my mom I was available on Thursday but I actually work so we are hanging out afterwards because no one wanted to cancel.

 

 

There is an Emptiness Within My Soul

It keeps beat

Hot and cold

Wouldn’t call it a heart

I’d call it a hole

4 thoughts on “A Lie Preview”

  1. Hey L.
    I couldn’t find the posts that I claimed as ‘mine’ so I’m just using this one.
    I wanted to say a few things without sounding annoying, odd or freak you out.
    I emailed you the other day and I was in a bad place when I did. I thought that I had perhaps been too open and lovey-lovey with you, and that I was spending far too much one on your blog and making you uncomfortable, which was never my intention. I just think you write brilliantly and I felt a connection with you, so I expressed myself. I don’t feel connections with a lot of people but when I do I show it. If I made you feel werid, I’m sorry and if you genuinely DO want to not chit chat so much, that’s fine! But I just enjoyed being your friend and talking with you. However, I know I can be intense and if you are bothered by that I am so sorry. I’m going through a series, hard time right now. So my behaviour is erratic and a bit strange.
    Hope you’re well. I’ve missed our little conversations and I hope I haven’t offended you in any way. Sorry I wrote that email, I just went into self destruct mode.
    Love,
    Me

    Like

    1. I’m not sure which email you mean… I haven’t seen anything new in awhile… I didn’t mean to blow you off… if it felt that way… I apologizes… I’ve had little time for much outside of work and family… I had a lot of emails from when I got back… still digging my way out of that…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh god now I feel even more stupid.
        Basically, when you see the last email from me, just roll your eyes and ignore it. I was having a huge self destruct day and I thought well, why not attempt to fuck up your new friendship, too? Oh please don’t apologise for that, you obviously weren’t blowing me off, and I am just an idiot. I thought…well I told you. I thought you’d just had enough of my onslaught of affection! If course you’re busy, it goes without saying. I am a stay at home mum and can barely keep up so I can only imagine how busy you are.
        So let’s pretend I didn’t act like a moron and carry on as normal… whatever normal is 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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