Over Here Please

I’m constantly bombarded with these notions and ideas that I should be doing this or I could be doing that. It is as though everyone has an idea of what I should be doing except for me. The shitty part is that it is never what I am already doing. It is always something that takes a commitment that I just don’t have right now. This is what I want to do. Whatever the fuck this is, is what I want to do.

I may not be the best at it but surely I am not the worst. Of course that’s not what anyone wants to hear. I don’t make shit doing this, but is that the only reason to do something? Some days it feels like the only reason I can’t lie about that even to myself. Though I know that it is not true. Life is a struggle this career is a slow march through hell.

It takes a toll on you. Hacking one piece of you away at a time until all that is left is a bloody stump that won’t shut the fuck up. I’m nothing more than a tortured soul tortured by my own thoughts and views. A constant pain that no matter how much I say I’ll keep having more to say. Even if no one is going to listen. But that is the point is it not? To find someone to listen to what I have to say. A never-ending struggle without no real sense of a goal. Here’s to another long night saying the same old useless shit to myself.

7 thoughts on “Over Here Please”

  1. Sometimes saying shit… is good. Someone might like it. There’s a lot of shit out there that is no good. Me thinks your shit might be good.

    Courage… you chew glass for crying out loud! Gotta be worth something.

    Me too… I’d rather be doing this shit than anything else.😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. OMG, hate my phone keypad, I was typing half way.

    I meant I always have this thought that do gold and things will eventually go to it’s own way. Don’t need to become the best, it’ll be good if it can create a small positive impact to others life. This is just my humble thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

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