All We Have Are Lies

Lately, I have been feeling as though everything is escaping me. As though life itself is nothing more than a silly, meaningless game that I have to play. Win or lose, rich or poor, but unlike a game, I can’t start over or walk away. I hate this feeling. This looming feeling of waiting to die because I have nothing else better to do. It is a waste and worst of all I know it is. Though I do nothing to change or fix the odds in my favor. If this was a game by now I would have found a way to cheat.

I’d find a way to make it all seem easier or seem more fun. In reality, though it doesn’t get better and all the fun is long gone. I’m an adult now. Any new experience is only one I’ve felt before taken to some new extreme. Any thought is only one I have repeated to myself one more damn time. All that I need to know to survive is known to me to some degree or another. I would like to think that life still has some surprise left for me, but in my heart, I know it really doesn’t. Life is what it is, and what it is, is pretty shitty.

The world is left with broken dreams and heartache. Bleak, I know. The truth often is. The truth is often the worst thing about life. It is the lies that we truly enjoy. It is lies that move us in our minds and in our lives. We would like to think that it is the opposite the other way around, but it has never been that way. Our past is made up of lies and so is our future. I’ll lie and say that isn’t all right, that isn’t the way it should be. But in truth it is alright and that is the way it is. If it wasn’t for lies most if not all of us would be dead, dying, or in the ground.

I think, I know that is why we follow a religion, false prophets, science or any other bullshit we drug ourselves with. These false promises of something better made out of lies. These things are not better. They are only the same with different surroundings. Heaven is no way to live just a lie we tell ourselves to keep going. A dream to push us to that next level, but every level is the same. Play any game it is the same. The outcome and the process, are the same.

If you want to get to where I am. Start ripping out the stitches made of lies. Pull the skin apart and realize we were all we ever needed to survive.

67 thoughts on “All We Have Are Lies”

    1. kaleidoscope… twice in one week?… this is my week… : )

      It is hard to not thinking about at times… The more you learn… the older you get… the scarier it all becomes…

      Life is very much like a book… I look forward to the end… but I’m not ready to skip ahead… would always love a few more pages… maybe even a chapter or two… but so far it is a pretty good read… filled with lies and truth… which one is which?… well that is up to you…

      Liked by 4 people

      1. I just read the name at the end… and imagine I am talking to a literal Magical Fox… or Soren who I imagine is a word wizard… Tony a friend of Soren and Fox (Needs a cooler name… No offense though I like the idea that he is the normal one… Mostly because his post are always a little off the wall)… Dhanya sounds like a goddess to me… That’s Low On Juice to me…

        I see you all as a group of friends with so many different things to say… Besides the writing that may be my favorite thing about your blog… It keeps it from becoming routine… Never know what crazy and awesome thing I will read today…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you Layne!!! You’re really sweet! I don’t know what to say but… Thanks a lot… It kinda feels weird… because all of us are like rookies… We’re probably too young to be blogging the shit we blog. But hey if you like it then it’s not a problem. I really don’t mind being unnoticed by everyone but I’m really happy that you read our blogs… Sometimes what I write is to try and impress you (I am a little kiddish…..)… I don’t know man….
        I didn’t think kids like us would be taken seriously, I thought we’d be thrown around and we’d be laughed at for being so kiddish and… Confusing… But… Idk… I’m really really happy you like reading what we write…
        Soren and Fox
        (Yes, we both wrote this one together….)

        Liked by 2 people

      3. That’s the thing about writing… it is about the words and what you have to say… not about how old you are… who you love.. where you are from… You can discuss all of these things if you want or none of these things… but base the story in middle earth… another universe… or next door… you are still in there… and you being you is what it is all about… (The both of you… the whole team)…

        I’m impressed that you two are putting yourselves out there… I couldn’t have done that at your age… when I was your age… no one knew I could write or wanted to write… including me… even now… sometimes I write things… and I think don’t hit post… there is some trepidation there even after all the support that something might not be good or as good.. the fear is good… the fear keeps us on our toes… embrace the writing fear… but don’t be afraid to take a chance… words are always important, but words can be fixed… actions can often not be…

        I’ve been lucky… I am lucky to have found or been found by everyone that I have met on here… You two don’t have to impress me, but you two end up doing so anyway… I’ve liked your blog since the moment I have checked it out… each day it gets better and better… Honestly… I had no idea how young any of you were… school is very different here… so based on your descriptions of school and friends… then add on how well all of you can write… I thought you were all in college… So finding out that you are 16 or around there was mind blowing… I’d burn my age 16 writing if it didn’t have sentimental value attached to it… It is pretty bad… haha… So don’t worry about trying to impress anyone, but yourselves…

        Last thing I will say…. is keep writing… can’t stress that enough… if I learned anything about writing it is that you have to keep writing… not good at this type of story?… get to writing… the only way to get better… don’t settle either… settling is a trap… and it is easy to settle when you find your voice… It is easy for me to write what I write… I don’t even think about it… so I challenge myself… challenge myself to be a better writer… have I failed?… a lot… some days so bad… I’d rather run into an actual brick wall… but you pick yourself up… and do it again… what I’m saying is if you want something… don’t be afraid to work for it… whatever it is… and don’t be afraid to fail either… no one wants to fall into the fire… but once they do they know to never do it again… That’s not called failure… that’s called learning… Failure is giving up… failure is avoiding the fire all together…

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Woah… How come I never read this comment?🤔
        I will not stop writing… I’ll write as often as possible… We’ll be in college in 2020… We’re all going to 12th grade in a couple of months…

        Words can be fixed but… So many people tell me… It’s what makes words meaningless…

        I will try not to worry about bout trying to impress people…. I’ve been putting whatever that comes to my mind here on the internet…. Thoughts are of great value though they don’t exist physically in the real world… I’m slowly learning that they may not be significant to anyone else but me…I can’t post often this month, we have our final exams but I’ve been planning many new things to write about and… I’m stepping out of my comfort zone… im challenging myself, trying new things….I want to keep moving around with my content rather than staying stagnant…

        Sorry for replying so late… I don’t know how I didn’t read this one

        These comments mean a lot to me… I’m glad I found you Layne….

        I hope that we stick around for a really long time and I hope that eventually we will meet…. I don’t like talking to people and socializing a lot… But… I like you.. you’re really nice and sweet… I don’t have many friends irl… Because I am not a good person…. I have hurt people and have been a dick… I mean cmon… every teenager is super annoyin…im a Teenager… I know…. It used to bother me a lot, I didn’t want to be a monster…. I just wanted to get rid of myself……. writing here on WordPress… made me realize that being a dick is okay…….It’s part of growing up… It’s inevitable that at one point everyone becomes a monster…. But everyone gets a chance to choose which way the monster goes… I’m growing up into a better person……(less of a monster) by reading blogs and comments like yours….

        I haven’t changed… I am still myself… I am just shining with a different frequency, a different colour…. The source is the same…..

        Writing does help one discover oneself…

        By making a few new friends here on WordPress I feel better about myself… Now I don’t want to get rid of myself… I want to be a better me…

        I will not run from the fire…. Perhaps the fire is where I belong….

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I’m glad to have have met you as well my friend…

        I don’t think you are a dick… or have been one on purpose… you have a writer’s mind… you see more than what is on the page and the page is often boring… you understand that the page is only a catalyst for something more… often we are seen as “dicks” because we aren’t afraid of the truth… we prefer it… lies are for stories… so why lie to those around us?… there is no challenge in a lie… we do it all day for fun… one of the hardest things to do in this life is to tell the truth… it will be a long ass time before anyone appreciates that… but they will…

        that has been my problem at least and why I have been called an asshole… that’s where friends come in handy to cut you off… stop you from being an ass… the hardest part about life is that we assume everyone is like us… because we only truly know ourselves… this is a false narrative… no one thinks exactly like us, acts like us, or does what we would do… it becomes frustrating but that is where empathy is very important… you shouldn’t let people walk all over you or use you… but you also need to remember that they often don’t know they are doing it… they are stuck in that mind frame of everyone is like me… or they have to do what I say because I say so… haha…. nope…

        I’m not just saying this to be cliche or because it something I should say as an adult… but school is the number one thing right now… so much more is learned in school than just what is in the books… learning to balance what you want and what you need to do in life… is the most important lesson that school teaches you… they will tell you to work hard now and you won’t have to work hard later… this is bull shit and misleading… you will always work hard… nothing is free in this life… but you need to decided… do you want to work harder with your mind or your body?… I never did great or bad in school… I know I could have done better, but I blew it off… always strive to do the best you can do… I learned that the hard way… my life is good… but had I applied myself earlier… I know it could have been better… school doesn’t solve all of your problems… it solves none of them, but it teaches you how to solve them for yourself… (Had a bad day at work… can you tell?… haha… But this is real advice…)

        Always be yourself and always strive to be a better you… everyone has room to grow and I’m glad to hear that you are….

        I don’t want to down play your emotions or doubts as just being a teenager… I have them all the time… doesn’t matter what age you are… you will have them… and the best thing you can do is talk them out… “no one knows what they don’t know”… sounds pretty obvious… but most revelations are… not all problems can be solved through words I get that… but some problems just need to be understood and not solved… that is life… and it is better with you in it… : )

        This song has a crazy ass title… but it is one of my favorites… I hope you enjoy…

        Like

      6. Thank you Layne… I don’t know how to respond to this but… You’re just… Too good… I… Don’t know how to tell you how grateful I am and all..

        Some problems need to be understood and can’t be solved… I must start making a compilation of all the great advice you give me… Maybe put that in a book “Layne’s life lessons”…

        I… Can’t accept everything that happens to me.. but I know that one day I will be strong enough for that…. Sometimes I try to stay in a bad mood and upset on purpose…
        I don’t know why… Maybe because I hate myself… Maybe because I want someone to sympathize with me and if that’s the case… I hate myself more..

        The link you’ve sent isn’t working… Tell me the name of the song and I’ll look it up…

        Liked by 1 person

  1. This is so brilliant and honest and I feel most of us realize it at some level and yet it’s the way things are–we might try doing better than yesterday and take a day at a time. Very well written, Layne 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Wow… this is very nicely written and worded…
    It is hard to step away from the lies… we tell ourselves lies all the time to keep striving for something. We listen to lies, fed to us by loved ones, peers and others… lies and fantasies…
    Aaannnd… I had to take a phone call from my brother in the middle of writing this comment. As you kniw about my brother I’m sure you will understand that my train of thought has officially derailed.
    Sorry.
    Great post, Layney Bear xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You… are… magical! I’m not kidding. I’m surprised you haven’t exploded into the universe with all the insight that resides in that body suit! 😉

    I’m overwhelmed right now … I like fiction and nice poetry. Those lies I write make my life easier I think but… also I choose that. I choose to be this way. While lies surliness me… while my reality overwhelms me… I swim above it looking towards the sky and I find my own dreams… my own piece of Heaven. Not gonna let anyone control me.

    Daaamn! I need to stop the tears! But this post resonates with me right now! I cant help it and I don’t know what the hell I’m saying… lies probably. 😢

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Found it…. When I was editing my book for the first time… I was obsessed with two albums I had found on vinyl… Pink Floyd’s Animals… and Pink Floyd’s The Wall… listen to them over and over… all night… sometimes I’d watch the movie as well, but to me it is the same, but separate…

      We all go through this phase as writers… you are scared because you are almost done… Which sounds awesome, but now it means the real work is about to begin… the not fun work… It also means you have to start over again… starting over sucks… The first draft there is all this wind in our sails… super exciting because where are we going???… But then we get there… to only have to go back… going back sucks… but it is important… sure we are in this new place, but the path to get here is not as defined as we thing it is….

      You are not alone on this path… because we are waiting for you… waiting for you to tell us if it is safe or not… ready for you to show us the way through to where you are… So don’t stay Comfortably Numb for too long… because we miss you…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you! Your words mean a lot! The two albums you mentioned are awesome! Yeah… I’m getting there… a slow burn… ready but… still simmering. 😉

        More tears! I’m so touched by your words of encouragement. You threw the song right back at me .. it was meant for you! It’s an amazing song! You’re an amazing friend! 😘

        Liked by 1 person

      1. It is, of course. It’s…I love it, truly.
        Darkness is a catalyst for the light indeed, I realised that a while ago. And conversely , attempting to contain the dark, only serves to darken you from the inside out.
        Or something equally philosophical

        Liked by 1 person

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