Broken Thoughts

Another shitty night bleeds into another subconscious day
Locked into nothing at all, fight to stay awake
Breaking bones to stay in the game with no goal
If only I had known the rules might not have tried at all
Gave it away for nothing at all, Giving it away
A cause and effect of a generation gone by
The words change but they always mean the same thing
Killing the weak to prove I’m strong for no reason at all
Another shitty week produces yet another worthless year
Feel the time pass without doing anything in between the seconds
Fighting with myself, against myself for reasons unknown
The rules were etched in stone, lost in time
Dictating how we live or not at all
The words make no sense but always mean the same thing

“Lost and Walking in Place Become Adolescent, Immature”

Gave up on my dreams to settle for anything
Wrong turn or in the process
What’s the difference if you aren’t willing to try
Sitting in the dark amongst the shadows
A homeless mind with too many responsibilities
Clutching to all the broken dreams
A shattered reality pieced together
This was to be my only way out
Now I’m searching for a reason
To not end it all
Suicide used to be the fuel
Now it is only the fire
Burning myself alive for what
Sacrificing myself to an unholy satisfaction
Give in is to die but I’ve been dead for so long
Retrospective and digging at the past
Need an answer and no religion isn’t it
Faith in anything isn’t cutting it anymore
Need someone to have faith in me
Though what I need always seems to be the wrong thing
Drug against the grain, maybe I have gone insane

Not cold enough to snow, Cold enough to realize I can die
Think it is forever, life is a short amount of time
Lasting forever is an immortal thought left to the damned
Heaven is a lost idea of freedom, Heaven is nothing more than a tool
Conditions will not improve until we improve them
Always waiting for someone, someone to fix the problem
Our own salvation lost in the lazy complications we create
Bleed for your freedom, stop believing in imaginary things
Die for the things you want, Do you still want them for the threat
The threat of losing it all is it worth it for nothing at all
Heaven is a place on earth, Hell sowed right beside it
Choices are made with or without your consent
Decide which side you stand on

 

4 thoughts on “Broken Thoughts”

  1. My wonderfully , meditative L.

    You may have pulled this out of my own little soul, “If only I had known the rules might not have tried at all
    Gave it away for nothing at all, Giving it away..”
    But I think at this stage we both agree that some tiny parts of our minds were separated and are now drawn to each other inexorably.
    On a day when the sun is shining but the clouds are dense and impenetrable, you write this and my breath gets trapped between exhalations.
    Heart beats pause and tighten the existential matter that resides within the nanoseconds between…
    “Need someone to have faith in me
    Though what I need always seems to be the wrong thing
    Drug against the grain, maybe I have gone insane..”
    Embraces around the heart of the matter, warming the tendrils of darkness that attempt to squirm out, held in by your words.
    Enamored and satisfied from the brain food you’ve served up. Tasted it and officially addicted.
    X

    Liked by 3 people

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