Broken Up Thoughts

I know everything I need to do but I’m just scared…

Everything lasts if only for a moment. A moment in time lost forever…

Feel so left out even though I was invited. Invitation still in the mail I suppose. Invited none the less. It was as though we could have sat this one out but showed up anyways…

The sadness grows infinite. Dripping down but never draining away. As though I exist without existing at all. A lost parallel to nothing wrapped in sentiment and sin.

Fun to watch from a distance as the distance becomes greater and greater. Their faces still smiling though only with the slightest hint of fear. Go alone into the great nothing or hold everyone close for dear life. Either option succumbs the same fate. There is no life after death no matter how much we pray.

Everything is different even if it is the same. We tell ourselves if only I could go back to this moment or that moment, but it is just shit we say to ourselves. Like one more and I’m done. Three more later our stomach-aches and we are left knowing why. Can’t go back only forward. Good or bad forward is all we know.

The world is changing but we are all staying the same….

We live in a play set world where death is an option not a way of life. We take every single breath for granted yet they still don’t mean anything. There will be more to come. Tomorrow is another day not the end…

How far must I go
To reach the end of the world
Staring off the edge of a cliff
The whole world laid out below
I feel the paradise but at a loss
I see everything that doesn’t need to exist
When the world goes
Will I remember any of this

Really stretching the meaning of this post with this one… I was trying to clear off some of the pages on my desk… random bits of paper… nine down… a thousand more dead trees to go… a massacre laid out amongst the rest… So many Broken Thoughts still scattered in my brain… a slow drip… driving me insane… A happiness… I could never find… a rotting of the core… They say I am great at nothing at all… Believed the lies and now I am on display… Displaced from a reality that I must live… Day to day… everything will be okay… Post script of the unimaginative…

5 thoughts on “Broken Up Thoughts”

  1. L,
    L, L, L…….
    My heart is racing and hurting my chest cavity on purpose as it tries to leap out and reach you across a non existent yet persistent distance.
    Often my favourite parts of your posts, secretly, are your italicised post scripts. Feel like you’ve just read your post out loud, the audience claps and cheers or cries and wipes their eyes, then you take me to one side and in a Shakespearean aside for only those you have the power to listen can hear, you whisper your post script.
    You know?

    “How far must I go
    To reach the end of the world
    Staring off the edge of a cliff…”
    I’ve expressed something similar in a post, remind me to tell you which one. It’s an inevitable temptation of falling. Always there.

    Your bewitching allegories from paragraph to poetic, aching paragraph scream out loud to be noticed while hiding their true face from the light.

    “We take every single breath for granted yet they still don’t mean anything. There will be more to come…”

    You have a heaving, loudly beating heart that emanates like a beacon from the abyss of your outpour. I love the sound it makes.

    You suprise me every time with your words, even though I feel like I am writing them along with you. Weird? Don’t care. True

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The thoughts about your thoughts… that’s a lot of thinking. Thanks for sharing it with us, because I think very strangely. I am weird at thinking.
    If I wrote like you, would we be the Hunter S. Thompson Twins?
    That’s a 70s reference, an 80s reference and a 2000s reference all at once.


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