Broken Thoughts

Sharing in your tragedy
A loveless relationship built on pain
Discuss our inner fears
Friendship only meant to get us through a time
Long lasting, forever scared
Torn between two ideas
One I’ve had another only thought of
A dream of what you became
Sad, sickly, lonely GIF of a man
Spoke my peace now I know why
Now I understand the silence…
I feel as though my dreams have become meaningless and nothing more than a lie I tell myself to fall asleep. I prop myself up on this altar that I am something, that I will be something. But in truth I am nothing, never was something. Each goal nothing more than a chase. Chasing down some dream. One right after other down a rabbit hole that never progresses. Everything is right there, but I’m stuck in a stalemate with myself. Spinning tires until something happens. I start over a lot. More than anyone should. If I’m good at anything it is starting over. Over and over, but I’m always left with this empty feeling. This unhappiness so, naturally I start all over again. I’m not at the point that nothing fills this emptiness. Nothing curbs it long enough to even enjoy the process. Settling for everything at this point. Settling for nothing because it all feels the same. Easing into old age. I want nothing more than to want nothing at all.
Standing naked against the rain
Not sure if this is normal or spiritual
Judging others is never what I came to say
Broken down I think this behavior is okay
A seismic shift of how we are meant to feel
Digging up bodies left to rot in the past
Moving on was never meant to last
Reflection is harder when you’re the cause of it all
The hurt means something overall
A cosmic rift of how we are meant to be
Here comes the rain, here comes the flood
Don’t think anyone will judge
If you get out now
Only the strong will survive this shit
Adolescent maybe
Layman’s terms are easier to understand
The biblical notion that all things are rotten
The idealistic ideal is better soft spoken
I wished and it came true
Now I’m just as fucked as you

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Waiting on some emails that may change my life… Been waiting for years… Mostly inside my head… I know that it is going to happen… One of these days… things will feel so different… that I will miss the way that it was… because I am human… Because no one ever wants what they got… Maybe I should go check my mailbox?… 

Dragging my feet across the coals of everything I knowPeddling my wares over at these fine establishments… ThreadlessAmazon… Learning something new today… because why the fuck not?… 

3 thoughts on “Broken Thoughts”

  1. “Sad, sickly, lonely GIF of a man” made me sad and then giggle at the GIF you once sent me and said it was you…
    “Moving on was never meant to last” sometimes it takes people a lifetime to move on… and then they die… the ultimate moving on… but this is not you…
    Big hugs, Layney bear xxx love your words 😚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Digging up bodies left to rot in the past
    Moving on was never meant to last
    Reflection is harder when you’re the cause of it all”

    Daaaaamn! Well… *swallows tears* ummm… gosh! Why does this resonate with me so much!!!

    Maybe because I’m just as forked as anyone! 😢

    I need some hugs! 😭😭😭😭

    I love your broken thoughts! Because somehow… they love me back.

    It is what it is… then you die! 😭😭😭😭

    Like

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