We all have something to distract us. For some t is things. Mountains and mountains of shit with no apparent meaning. For others it is sex. One if not the greatest distractions there is or could ever be. For those with this affliction, they have yet to experience one of many types of accidents. Whether it be STDs or even worse pregnancy. After either one of those horrific resolutions though sex becomes just becomes a meaningless distraction as what they were trying to avoid in the beginning. It isn’t the sex they crave it is everything that comes with it. The power, the chase, the distraction because is that the essence of life? To avoid actually living it. Anything to avoid having to go through life would be ideal.
Working nine to five, too much life. Taking the children to school, too much life. Killing oneself literally, figuratively is a sin. Whether you believe in a higher power or not. This distraction is a sin. Unless of course you do it in moderation and drag it out. Life has a purpose for you, not God. These ideas are radical in every sense of the word. Why though? Why must we have a purpose? How could everyone ever have an honest reason to live? These questions escape my brain. I have no answers only more questions about things that don’t matter. Am I lost? Sure, who isn’t anymore?
I have yet to find my purpose in this life. Though I have found more distractions to occupy a lifetime. Some of which have caused me more pain than pleasure at this point. Not sure how to go about erasing past sins, past regrets. I can only hope those affected by them forgive me as I look for my purpose.
A burden lifted off your chest
Placed in my heart
A space I called for you
Now nothing more than a rotten corpse
It will take time to understand
Understand how I feel about your betrayal
A denial I refuse to believe
Though we’ve all known it is true
Things will never be the same
We’ll try but we know
This is the end to all that we know
No going back, I’m done, caught up with you
Trust is something that should never be believed
Trust in no one because someone will let you down
Everything in the past has been our future all along
Waiting for the last piece of me to die…
Everything is not okay… but there is nothing that can be done that hasn’t already been tried… There is only so much we can do in life and trying is the biggest one… Nothing wrong with that… At least we can say that we tried…