Gasping for the Air that Surrounds Me

Ark

The darkness surrounds me
As the rain falls down

Over the sky, blood drips down
Signaling only death
I hope you all drown
I hope someday you are found
Bleed me slowly and see
If I’m still alive
You all said I was crazy

Said I didn’t know anything
A child with adult eyes

The cuts they hurt
More in the beginning
Stones casted out, words with so much meaning
What was the point if not intended to hurt

Time has a way of healing broken wounds
Time has a way to make it go away
All of this all over again
Clairvoyant even in the womb
Because I know
I’ve always known
How all of this ends

Gather around, get to together
Pick and choose
But you should know
Not all of you
None of you will be
Here when it is all done
An endless time born to repeat
A drowning, a rebirth, a life destined to live
Born to be who we were always going to be
Keep destroying, keep hurting, keep doing it all
Free will was never a choice
Only a way of life
I never saved anything only kept it going
God spoke to me and I chose

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Well this is late… by a few hours… been one hell of an eight-day stretch… honestly only thought I would die twice so that’s something positive… behind on everything… broken promises I never intended to keep… Someday I will figure this all out… what this is I don’t know… working towards living… or so I keep telling myself… 

There has been a lot of sadness in the air as of late in America… In Texas… afraid it will only get worse… before it could ever get better… as a transplant it is never racking… embarrassing to say… where I live… where I am from… accepting that we are all not perfect… is not accepting the actions taken… diluted… forced upon to believe… we are not all what we are entitled to be… wish I could say I was proud to be where I’m from… but there is nothing to be proud of when we are all hypocrites… we say we are a Christian nation… a Christian state… a notion shoved down my throat on a daily basis… If you are going to be who you say you are… then be who the fuck you say you are… hard to believe the wandering Jew known as Jesus… cast aside… “crucified for his lies”… dying for his beliefs… would ever turn his back on those in need…

Confused yet?… trying living this shit every day and not even believing… believe what you want to believe… but fucking believe it… don’t half ass your beliefs all over my life… day in and day out… then turn your back on God… because you are too lazy to do what needs to be done… to take care of those in need… this isn’t directed at anyone person… but if you honestly believe this is for the best… that separating children from their parents… is okay… when their only crime is trying to find a better life… you better go stock up on some more bibles… because there isn’t enough pages to wipe up all of your shit… to clean the ring around your mouth… the stain you are so full of… all the while we hand back our precious babies… to monsters who won’t even get off their ass to look for a job… let alone take care of their child or children… people who are entitled to something just because they are American… that’s okay… 

If there is anything more American than fighting for a better life… I’d love to know what it is… I’d love to know what all this bullshit is supposed to mean if it is all only words and not what we truly believe… For God and Country… For Hypocrites and Assholes… just another day… drowning in our own shit… 

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