Calling Me Home… Calling Me…

If I Only Knew

Panic attacks are the only way I can feel
My own heartbeat as it beats through my chest
I’m so lost I don’t exist anymore
The feelings I once had I don’t have
Anymore
I see myself
Sickening, sickly, sick
I see myself slipping down further than I ever thought
A deep dark hole carved into a home
Locked away in a shadow, through the darkness
In myself I see
Always give myself one more day
This life is the longest day I will ever know
And starting tomorrow I’ll only have to let go
Who I am, who I’ve been, who I will be
My fears are only the will to live
My fears fade away as the day goes on
If it wasn’t for this need
Existence would be an excuse
March to my own grave
If only I had known
This would have been my home

 

Here

I’ll wait here
It’ll be fine
Said no one ever
And meant it
Nothing
Is ever okay
Thoughts in my head
Still not dead
Feelings breaking out
Peeling back the skin
Of my mind
I’ll wait here
It’ll be fine
Nightmares have never been dreams
Reality is a whole other thing
Something I can’t truly believe in
What if there is a God?
What if this is hell?
What difference would it make?
At this point
In this moment
I’ll be right here
It’ll be fine

 

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I’m thinking about getting into mumble rap… turns out I have already written several albums worth of material… today actually… what can I say… I am an overachiever… an asshole… and a genius in a genre I never knew I could have been apart of… which is why as of today… as of now… I have decided to retire from my mumble rap career to focus on my poetry and stories… Thank you to all of those who have followed… supported… loved me… through out my career… For those of you who do not know what mumble rap is… I am jealous… envious even… okay I am done being an asshole… haha… just kidding… see you all Wednesday… for Part 24 of the Asshole Chronicles… A Day In The Life… 

Threadless… shirts… Amazon… books… Etsy… art… Twitter… @Chew_On_Glass

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