Waiting For Everything In Reverse

Questions

When did all of this go to shit?
When did our lives take a turn for the worst?
How long are we willing to live like this?
What really matters in this world?
Why do we need so many things?
Why do we want so little?
How is it that others even live?
What is life?
What is living?
How could we ever turn this around?
How can we go back to the beginning?
Without losing everything we’ve gained?
What is important anymore?
What is money when there’s nothing to spend it on?
What is family when you never see them?
What is important about what we have to say?
How is it that we live to begin with?
Contemplating questions
Does any of this really matter?

 

In Reverse Things Seem Strange

I feel sick today but not insane
My convictions are stronger than my will
Makes sense if you could be me for a moment
You’d understand then of course
Probably not but that’s okay
No one knows what it’s like to be anything
Too much confusion in the giant fish bowl
We are all pets, barely house broken
We label ourselves man but animal is much more fitting
Examine each thought as though it means something
Sometimes I like to say stupid shit
Without meaning or verbs
I prefer nothing over somethings
But sometimes nothing is never enough
Wish I knew when enough was enough
And I could walk away
We all have our cross to bare
But I feel mine is an absolute
A never ending revelation in my mind
Crucify me if you must
I can’t stop you from doing what you are willing to do
Think in so many ways I might be ready
The pain might refresh my thoughts
Reprise, I feel sick today but not insane

 

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Lets talk about Questions… this is an old poem… back during the dark days of staying up every night… working my ass off for nothing at all… working myself into a suicidal existence… for what I believed life was about… let me say… that I don’t know what life is… but I do know that it is whatever you wanted it to be… if you want to work crazy ass hours then do it… I know people like that… they are crazy ass fuck… but they are still my friends… my family… 

Life is about figuring yourself out… I’m not advocating you do nothing at all… and if you want to do that… I know people like that too… but don’t expected anyone to give a damn about you and your problems… lone wolf it all you want but there is a balance in life… one we all have to contribute too… I work my hours and I give them my all when I am there… but then I walk away… I go home to the things that matter to me… my family… my words… and to you… I pay the prices I need to pay to keep society going… something I think we all should do… but at the end of the day it is all about me… 

Sounds worse than it really is… words can have that effect… the thing is we all owe the world something… it doesn’t have to be big… but it can’t be nothing at all… turning that unused light in the other room off… making sure you do your job to the best of your ability… helping someone who needs your help… letting in that asshole on the highway who passed everybody behind you just to get two cars ahead… fuck that asshole… but at least you can rest assured you are a decent person… even as you flip them off… there is a cost to all of this… one that we have to pay… and should pay… 

“Does any of this really matter?”… if it didn’t then you wouldn’t be here…

 

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