I Am The End Of All Your Dreams…

Today will be a little different from normal… or a lot of the same… depends on how you view my odd writing style… today I answer questions from you… well three of you… I appreciate the three of you very much… the rest of you… the rest of you must have just been too busy… whatever… I get… I have a life too… I think… So lets open up that mail bag and see what we’ve got… (All responses are my own… and do not reflect the thoughts and opinions of those of us that work at Is That A Funeral?… Any allusion to anyone person living or dead… is probably on purpose…)

First question. “Why do you suck?” brought to us by Jesus. 

Well, thank you Jesus… all I have to say to your oh so serious question… Big talk from someone who couldn’t even write their own story… drops the mic… 

Next up we have two questions from Ms. Lemons herself. Fuck The Lemonade if you are nasty.  “How are you?” and “What would you like to drink?”

At the moment I am great… I may or may not have had too much to drink already… I mean I am answering a question from Jesus… but I’m also not running in the streets naked… screaming come and get me while swing a bat at the cops… I just gave away my plans for this evening… damn…  as for what I like to drink… it varies… depending on my mood… and if I have any money… but… Whiskey and ginger ale… is a hit around this homestead… I mean… drinking is bad… how dare you ask me such questions… young lady… wildly inappropriate… or right on target?… so very unsure… next… : )

Question 3 comes from the amazing Lisa @LismorePaper, “Maybe you have said before, but the penguin, is there a story?”

With me there is always a story… haha… sadly this one isn’t very exciting… there is a great debate here at Chewing On Glass… whether I created the image myself or if I found it… I proclaim that I drew it myself… my wife on the other hand believes that I found it… to be honest that makes way more sense… because I can’t draw for shit… I have tried to reverse google search the image… and I can’t find it…  so that leads me to believe that I did it myself… that’s the pretext to this story… 

The penguin… at this point has to be my spirit animal… fun fact I re-watched Fight Club recently and the narrator’s spirit animal also happens to be a penguin… which I must admit made me smile… I don’t know if I have ever mentioned I am a huge fan of Chuck Palahniuk… getting off point… I have always been drawn to Antarctica… or penguins for that matter… maybe it is the subtext of isolation… yet with a family… the idea of an island… the idea that the only way to truly see me is to visit?… so much to unpack there… 

To answer your question though… the penguin became “my symbol” because when I signed up for this website… it was the only image I had on my writing computer… I had every intention to go back and changes it… but I’m pretty lazy… haha… so it became my calling card… the cute amongst the blood… along with the pain… a contradiction of sorts… proving I’m not completely lost… just a little broken…  also Mel really liked it… and as she was an early friend… I let it stay… I was going to change it to the bloody words… or something else that I have worked on… but for all reasons above… why?… 

Digging deep within the bag of questions. We have the one and only… Fox… Over on Low On Juice. “What’s the worst mistake you’ve ever done?”

You are amazing kid… but wow… real dark right out the gate… haha…

My worst mistake… I’ve been thinking about this for the last few days… I mean it could be a couple of things… it could have been have the time I killed that homeless man while his dog watched… should have killed the dog too… I just couldn’t bring myself to hurt something so innocent… : )… that’s a reference to American Psycho… by another one of my favorite authors… Bret Easton Ellis… it could have been dropping out of college… hell it could have been getting married… having a kid… moving to Texas… not killing myself at sixteen because I was bored… the things about mistakes kid… is that they happen… and it doesn’t matter… it is how you handle them that matters… 

Yeah, I dropped out of college… oh well… I went to figure out what I wanted to do… I wanted to do this… could it have been easier with a degree?… doubtful but who knows… was it settling down?… I have a connection with my wife that I don’t have with anyone else in the world… having a kid?… I have a chance of creating the coolest fucking kid in the world… or another asshole.. jury is out… haha… moving to Texas… that one was tough… I gave up a lot for that… looking back though… after I got through all the shit… I have gained a lot… not killing myself… I wouldn’t have met you… hands down… worth living…

Maybe I do nothing… maybe I become the next Stephen King… doesn’t matter… it is about moments… it is about pulling through… mistakes happen… we all fuck up… but riding out the storm…  how you handle it all… that’s what it takes to be a man… to be a woman… to be a person on this earth… shit happens… mistakes happen… life happens… I am far from perfect… but what separates me from what I see… is that I get back up and I try again… I fucking try… at what ever I do… it may seem easy… none of this is easy… 

You can have goals… and you should… but know that the real goal should always be… be the best person you can be… yeah someone else will be more lucky… someone else will have more… some one else will whatever the fuck… end of the day are you the best person you can be?… did you do everything that you are capable of doing?… that’s what people truly judge you on… not your mistakes… you’ve got a good head on those shoulders… keep at it… and you will be fine… don’t linger on the things that don’t matter… if you fuck up make it right… know that you are human… know that we all make mistakes… 

 

Songs for you to hear… because that’s who I am… Vacant Skies by Sparta… The Grudge by Tool.. and The Patient by Tool… I hope you enjoy… 

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Thank you to all that submitted a question… you are awesome… and I thank you from the bottom of my heart… it may seem black and hollow at times… but that is only the way it seems… because of you… it is full of love… and I thank you…

Threadless… shirts… Amazon… books… Etsy… art… Twitter… broken thoughts… 

 

21 thoughts on “I Am The End Of All Your Dreams…”

  1. This is great, I’m so annoyed I haven’t been able to keep up with the good folks for such occasions. Tsk. You answered most entertainingly, I like the penguin story, it does work well with all the blood, so to speak. Instead of a question that might have been I’ll give a statement instead; I think you have something clever and unusual going on in your writing and by the Gods and medium-sized dogs I enjoy reading it.

    Oh yes, and I am also a huge fan of Chuck Palahniuk. Read almost everything he’s done and literally have a T-shirt with his face on all spooky looking.

    – Esme applauding upon the Cloud

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It has been a minute… no worries… traveling by cloud is as peaceful as it can get… but they aren’t the fastest way to get anywhere… life is about the journey not the destination… So glad that you are enjoying all the glass… takes a while to file down… but hopefully it doesn’t hurt too much…

      What’s your favorite Palahniuk book?… (Worst part of his name is that even when you think you spell it right it still comes up wrong…haha) I’m always torn between Survivor and Invisible Monsters… I read once they were thinking about making Survivor into a movie… that was a good laugh… I think Diary could make an amazing movie… I love when she goes to where her husband had been working off the island… all the words on the walls… best part of the book… very surprised no one has jumped on Invisible Monsters for a film… they’d mess it up anyway so probably for the best…

      Thank you for stopping by… and all the support…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re very welcome.

        Hmm. I love Invisible Monsters, so I’d plump for that to be my favourite, I’ve read it twice too. Survivor and Lullaby are next in line. By the Gods I’d like to see them try Survivor and Invisible Monsters for films! But then I think you’re right, getting it wrong is far easier than getting such translations right. Have you read ‘House of Leaves’ by Mark Z. Danielewski? It’s wild, like no other book I’ve read. If you like Chuck, and you do, and bearing in mind your own writing, I heartily recommend a read if you haven’t already.

        – Esme Cloud nodding and avoiding writing Chuck’s second name

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Fan of Chuck, too. I really like the penguin story. He’s got to stay. You see, he is accustomed to the horror and blood, so he is a keeper. You could be like S King but you are even better because you are Layne Ambrose. Thanks for answering!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for the question… I’m glad you enjoyed the story… while writing it I was worried… you would think it was so lame… happy accident… I think it will be heading with me to my grave stone… followed by the caption… “Who in the hell did this? Been dying to know”…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is just what I needed to read tonight, a day after it was posted. The ending is especially apropos- others will be greater than me, or lesser, in terms of abilities and aspirations. I am, therefore, to compete solely against myself- my own foibles, my own misinterpretations and misconceptions, in order to summon my dreams to reality. Thank you, Layne , for this most provocative piece.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I got myself a puppy and I’d not want her to watch when I’m being killed.
    I bet she’d love to but no.
    Taking care of a puppy is so not easy.
    But then she’s kinda the only one who is super excited to see me whenever she sees me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. And woah!
      Real lengthy answer there
      Well, you’re right. Mistakes happen, its how we deal with them that matters. And being judged for your mistakes isn’t what happens in the wild. I agree with you on that.
      There is this video on YouTube called “Mistakes” by this dude Micheal Stevens on this channel called vSauce. It’s pretty good and thought-provoking.
      I have many more mistakes to make than I already have and the mistakes I’ve made so far aren’t even serious mistakes… they’re just embarrassing.
      I’m glad you didn’t kill yourself, for real… genuinely happy to have found you. You really are a great inspiration.
      I think this amazing thing about the internet is that you know people by what they want to be known for and just their talents… I love your talent to write
      And yeah… maybe living life through tiny moments is much easier than thinking about it and thinking about “the big picture”
      I have a feeling that I might drop outta college as well… as much as I love science, I love to create. I was thinking to take up an online course on philosophy and literature, that way I can do both the things that I love doing…
      Science is stressful and honestly quite depressing.
      I agree with you… whatever you’re doing, I don’t know how hard it is {that’s what she said} but I know it isn’t easy…
      I have given up already… I need more time than I have to do some creative writing…
      I respect you so much for doing what you do… You don’t do nothing… what you write has influenced me, I wanna write stories and poems and all kinds of stuff and I’d like to be able to do that like you… I admire your writing
      Sometimes I find it hard to wrap my head around but I know that it is probably because I am younger and know nothing.

      I’m sorry if you felt uncomfortable answering my question…

      I hope that you’re happy now, today… I hope that wherever you are… whoever you’re with, you are able to find happiness or peace… that’s more appropriate… I hope that you’re at peace

      It’s always interesting to know what people think their worst mistakes are… I just like hearing people’s stories… that’s kinda how I’ve made all my friends
      By asking them questions about stuff like this
      the worst thing that happened to ’em, the best thing…
      -Fox

      Liked by 2 people

    2. That first line is a hell of a start… haha… what kind of puppy?… been thinking of getting a puppy myself… I like dogs a lot… but I don’t like how they always need to be right on top of you… I’m selfish in that sense I guess… I’m more of a cat person… but the whole shitting in a box thing is weird… and well it makes the house smell like a shit box… So I got a baby and now I have both of those things slammed together at high speed… fun fact… she loves to watch when I’m being killed… she laughs and laughs… : ) #wait as long as you can…. : I

      Like

  5. Jesus this got deep!!! Holy cow… I’m all up in this being silly and Fox is laying on the real questions and you are giving the fucking answers, Laynes… fuck…
    I loved this post. I think you need to do this more often.
    Oh and in response to the answer to my question… I never said it was alcohol… this is why it is a good question. You could have said water… You could have said the blood of the innocent… see… see?! Lol
    Big hugs, Layney

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha… too drunk to think of anything else… not as quick as you as it would seem… It got a a little deep… might do it once a month… it was very cathartic… very much like… get your shit together… who knows what the world will bring… biggest hugs for you Ms. Lemons… Hope all is well…

      Like

      1. Bahahahahaha… You’re funny… yes! You should totes do this again…
        Lol “get your shit together” a phrase I say so often and never listen to…
        Yes, Mr Glass, big hugs!
        Everything is pretty awesome actually… the houe finally sold! So I’ll be taking that holiday in Nov like I had wanted…
        Hope everything is good with you also…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yep… my Summer is almost here… I don’t want to be here for it but that is not the full reason for the trip…
        Yass!!! It is soooo awesome! Thank you, Laynes.
        Time moves too fast and we never had a lot to begin with… yolo

        Liked by 1 person

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