Self Destruct… One Word At A Time…

Time ticks by without a name or face
What is it that I’m doing in this place
Lost and dying, I have no time to rest
All I want to do is lay down
Pretend that I’m dead
Peace is a word with no meaning
Who can go in such a fashion in theory
Never wanted to be here, never wanted to leave
Now the choice is up to me
Hope is something I once had
Now I have nothing never said I was glad
A feeling I once had
The world wants more than they let on
Taking a piece every day
Forgive me if I have nothing left
Forgive me if I gave it all away
Never knew any better
Thought this was what it was all about
A truth I can not speak
An idea I believe but don’t live
A dream buried deep within me
Straggling an idea
Choking at the thought of it all
Another drink and I will be
To far gone
A place called home
A place I’ve long to become
Lost words in the idea of it all
Meaning more than I’m willing to say
A thought stuck in my throat
Know that I gave it my all
Know that all of this
Has always been for you

 

Becoming immortal has its costs
Some pay in love, most pay in blood
A cost no one wants to afford
Though we can all pay out
An endless thought left out to rot
Lost diary no one cared to read
The times slip away
The words get lost
Yet somehow, some way mean the same
So many voice that don’t care
So many that do
Lost in the commotion
The idea drifts away
Hanging in the air
Waiting for their time
Waiting until the moment is right

 

Painting a picture
Means so much to me
An image buried in my mind
Just like the time I tried to die
A gallery with everything
I’ve been trying to say
Love was, never easy for me
Death makes sense
When you think about it
Giving up was all I ever needed
Wanted more but I never lied
Gave up the will
Gave in to all the things you feel
Emotional despise
Kiss your lips
Caress all that you are
I watched you die
I watched as you gave me everything
Smiled at the thought
Slaughtered all that you are
Choking the thought you could have meant
I thank you
Become you only to understand
I was never anything
Miss your love like I miss the sun
Not at all
Each stroke more than a thought
A line to keep moving on
Sing me a song 
Your voice so sweet 
Choking each note as though
It were my own

 

Tearing apart the world
Each word means something else
Hush your voice as I decide
What to do with you
My hands wrapped around your throat
My pain pushed through each finger tip
Have I told you how much I love you
Enjoying the silence
The solace of your voice
A digging emotion that I’ve tried to hide
Failure at its most definitive definition
I don’t hate you 
As much as I have always loved you
Hammer to a nail left out
Catching my skin against the grain
I’ve bleed for you
What have you done for me?
Sacrifice, never enough
I don’t want to own you
As much as you are mine
Body soul, sacrifice more
Give me what I deserve
A selfishness, a worthlessness
Succumb to all that I’ve told
A fantasy running through my mind
You are mine, you are what I say
As I do it, broken thoughts on nothing at all
Worship God. worship me for what I am
You think you have a choice
The choice was always mine
Know your place in my mind
Know that you’ve always been mine

Naked thoughts
Private moments
That told me
You are what 
I tell you to be
X rated thoughts
A whore amongst
Them all
If I told you
If I begged
What separates you
From my mind
Fantasy played out
Own, become, sacrifice
Shut your dirty mouth
Give me all that you
Will ever be

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Got a little dirty… swimming in the gutter… giving away more than I thought… pain succumbing to a though that doesn’t make any sense…  No one told me to be quite… shut my mouth… and open my eyes… pissing on all that you know… a flood of crimson… a flood of the color yellow… makes no sense… but does the pain ever have to?… a feeling lost among the lost souls… I’d give you all that I know… an empty mind with only one thought on the mind…  a broken vine… that reaches for more than a thought… digs at the soil… digs deep down in side… never satisfied… a thought that will only become… a way of life… swinging at the thought… coming up empty… am answer buried deep within… a life time to understand… a life time given only to become… dead… like the times… a history only meant to be repeated… smile because you’ve always known… you been doing it right… 

Threadless… Shirts… Amazon… Books… Etsy… Art… Twitter… Broken Thoughts… 

 

4 thoughts on “Self Destruct… One Word At A Time…”

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