Watching The World Go By… In Ever Passing Moments…

The Plan

Feelings disappear into the light
Faded but always there
Moments in time seems to last forever
Seconds of thought, a lifetime of regret
Decisions made that can’t be undone
Another day in the life of someone else
Too afraid to take a step
Backwards or forwards there is nothing left
Feelings reappearing every night
Haunting me from the shadows
Crosses burning, signaling a fight
A struggle so unreal that it has to be real life
A thought that doesn’t cross empty minds
Time has a way or remaining all the same
People don’t change only the time and place
Lost in a cycle that can’t possibly end
Given up only to just begin
Suffering was always the ultimate plan

 

Mapping out how I would feel
Planning every occurrence that makes this unreal
A desperation so pure
A rotting life left with no cure

 

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Short post today… I’m not feeling today at all… which is an odd way to say that I am feeling too much… too many thoughts to make any sense… ever passing moment… there is a war inside my head… a battle to keep going on… versus a force that says lay down and die… dig a hole and crawl in… ever passing moment… self-destruction was never my thing… only a dream… locked inside my head… “Want to destroy something beautiful”… what is it that I want to destroy?… when I’m so ugly… scared… broken… the surface still… calm… chaos hidden from view… tearing my throat out… won’t shut up… tearing my soul to pieces… can’t give up… some part of me… still in here… in some way… waiting out the storm… ever passing moment… I’m only trying to live… 

 

Threadless… Shirts… Amazon… Books… Etsy… Art... Twitter… Broken Thoughts

 

“This chicken is really spicy!!!”… My daughter… made me smile when I wanted to cry… all I added was a hint of pepper… little things that make no sense… change of mood… love her… even if I don’t love myself… comforting to know I love at all… 

10 thoughts on “Watching The World Go By… In Ever Passing Moments…”

  1. You told me once that I am worthy of love and of loving myself and that I should look at my little one and see that he sees only the best of me and that THAT is the truth. I am paraphrasing,but listen to my (your) words. They have truth.
    You’re wonderful, L. Don’t forget that even though your mind fights with you. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Twitter or email is all I’ve got… glad to hear that you are doing well… life is a shit storm… we just have to ride it out… keep your head up my friend… your talent is only in the beginning stages… always keep swinging… keep soaring… life is a cycle… keep fighting… for what you know is right… the rest will follow… wining isn’t about what we were taught… winning is how we feel inside… stay humble…. everything will fall in place….

        Like

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