Broken Thoughts… First Rehearsal…

Lips are cracked and bleeding
Purging the obvious
Drinking to wish this all away
Empty alley, a new home
Staring down death with nothing left
Had a name, gave it up to be this
Worth it for a worthless choice
Circumstances of my personal consumption
Forgive me for calling so late
Aware time always meant something to you
A purpose, a place, some where to be

Timing is everything
The reason behind right and wrong
Justification for what we believe
Too early, too late, it all fucks up just the same

 

Good luck suffering in place. Save a space for me.

 

Last week I was in New York and this week I’m in Seattle. What’s the point of fucking phones if we have to meet face to face? Come see the freak in a mask made of glass. A fragile ego they all want to shatter. Break me open and see what’s left inside. Haven’t I given you enough? Another rewrite another pass. What the fuck do I pay these people for? “The covers no good too violent, too obscene. Got any ideas?” Yeah, you just shit all over them. “The shirts are too much. We are trying to sell an image. Convey an idea of loneliness not sadness.” I was unaware they were two separate things. Pulling my teeth to make me money they say. What a stupid fucking saying. Driving a nail into my brain and they wonder why I’m so pissed off all the time. 

 

A long walk to nowhere at all

 

Thinking things over
Going on from here will be
More difficult this time
A radiant emotion trapped inside
Happiness is a fleeting emotion
Thinking of all the things
Still left to do
The words become a list
Of where I’ve been and where I need to go
Wasn’t prepared for this
Always failing, the success is fleeting
Wanted it always, now that I’m here
Even more lost than before

cropped-website-logo.jpg

I wanted to make a new logo for this week… it didn’t happen… started messing with all the tools… the settings… four hours later… I just said fuck it… next time… so maybe next time…

As soon as I stop being lazy… not any time soon… I want to start working on my short story book again… and I have an idea for another book… going to start working towards that soon… that’s my overall goal for the rest of the year… I need to start trying to submit some stuff to literary magazines and agents again… because life doesn’t seem so shitty as of late… and there is no better way to take that feeling away… : )

It’s like hitting rock bottom… only you could be so lucky to hit it every day… that sounds a little extreme… hitting rock bottom is some pretty serious shit… it is more like… you know that person you “love” but you are too afraid to tell them?… it’s like that… except you do it to multiple people and they don’t have the nerve to even tell you no… they don’t even have the nerve to tell you why… they just send you an email that says… thanks for bringing me your thoughts and feelings… maybe next time… now that I think about it though… I’ve never asked out multiple people out at the same time before… so I have no idea how that would feel…

Come to think about it… I’m not sure I’ve ever ask anyone out to their face… is that normal?… I don’t know… feels weird… where was I?… basically it feels like shit to get rejected… but it feels even worse… going through life without at least trying… 

 

Threadless… Shirts… Amazon… Books… Broken Thoughts… Twitter… 

 

 

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