Running In The Dark

I’m doing all of this from my phone… So yeah things might get messed up…

Digging myself out of a six foot ditch
Self imposed, Always willing to inflicted
Dragging my toe across the line
Each thought a suicide letter in my mind
Embracing the darkness I’ve tried to forget
Burning down the alter you’ve strapped me to
Fighting to remember every fucking word
You’re testing all that I have left mother fucker
Drowning you in a lake of your own shit
Wouldn’t even scratch the surface of how
You make me feel
Left alone, left for dead, all I’ve ever had is this loneliness
There is a good chance that I kill everyone standing in my way
How’s that for fucking progress?
Spitting in the face of everything you’ve ever said

And it was in that moment that I no longer feared God because I was already in hell

The drinking helped for awhile
But now I’m just a drunk
With one wish
Promise me you will do it
Make it happen
Drive the last nail where it deserves to be
If you won’t do it for you
Could you at least do it for me

The insanity helped for awhile
But now I’m just fucking crazy
With one promise
Promise me you’ll finally do it
Drive the stake right through my heart
If you won’t do it for yourself
At least do it for humanity

Promise me you’ll do these two things
Promise me like you said you once loved me
Promises is all that I got to keep up hope
Probably should have just given up
But no one will ever know

It’s hard to talk to you with so much hurt in the way.

The darkness coming back again
A commitment I’m not willing to commit to
The doubting has me thinking
Maybe this life was never worth living
Sadness only a thought or so I thought
Sweeping me out to sea once again
A darkness I’m no longer fearing to be
Knocking on death’s door becoming more faint
A tapping I can get behind
No longer a noise but a pretty rhythm of thought
Miss the days gone by, the days I believed
Everything was alright
Sinking into a set of freshly made skin
The doubting is all I seem to have now
A sickness taking over, never felt to whole
A Satan’s prayer, battle between heaven and hell

As usual I’m doing a lot better now… Then when I wrote these originally… I’m sure you may have noticed I haven’t posted in a while… Haven’t really been feeling like myself lately… Well for awhile… Trying to get back into everything… Trying to pull myself out of this hole… Some I dug myself and some of it I didn’t… But in the end a hole is a hole… No matter how deep it goes… I just need to pull myself out of it… Before I end up living in it…

Like I said I’m doing better… Could be better… But I’m doing the best I have been for the last few weeks… Not sure if this post will lead into more… Hopefully… But this whole working from my phone thing… Is a little hard to get used too… Haha… So we shall see…

In the meantime take care… I’ll be around… And I will be back…

4 thoughts on “Running In The Dark”

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