I Don’t Want to Go to Sleep… If This All I Have To Say…

Taking the Wrong Stairs Down

The hurt feels like it will never end
Chain smoking the pain from my head
Got it wrong, but then isn’t it always in the end
Chained myself to a dead weight
Now I’m sinking
Thinking what is that I really need
Air?

The hurt feels like it has been going on for a while
Staring down all the suicidal thoughts from my head
Got it wrong, but then its been that way for a while
Starving myself to a dead weight
Thinking what is it that I really need
Food?

The hurt feels like it has gone on too long
Walling off all traces from my head
Got it wrong, but then isn’t that long enough
Unchained myself to a dead weight
Now I’m confusing
Thinking what is it that I really need
You?

 

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Of course I would return to the warm weather in Texas after a month away in the cold… and get sick… powering through it though… So if this week is all scattered and makes no sense… it’s the sickness… (rolls eyes)… 

Fun highlights of my life right now…

I gave up soda… in a second step to cut out caffeine from my daily life… I feel like punching someone in the throat… so it’s going well… haha… the biggest differences I’ve noticed so far… besides my irritability to anyone who speaks to me… not a whole lot… I’m at that point in my withdraw… where quitting makes no sense… I wasn’t dead before… I was happy… I was a fun person to be around… It made me feel better… I think it is called denial… I’d ask someone… but then I might punch them in the throat… 

I started playing bass guitar again after a sixteen year absence… I’m as awful at it as you are imagining… it’s awesome… bass guitar was the first instrument I got as a kid… I wanted drums… every parents nightmare… my mom talked me into a bass guitar…  I only agreed because Mark Hoppus from Blink-182 was cool… so why not… less than a year later I was begging for drums again… which I eventually got… I played drums through out high school… I just realized there was no point to this story… haha… yeah I need more sleep… 

 

Things… Threadless… Words… Amazon… More Broken Thoughts… Twitter

 

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