Broken Thoughts… Secrets Are Never Worth Keeping…

A break from reality
Spinning out of control
Thought you owned me
Thought you had me against the wall
You were never more wrong
A break from normalcy
Breaking down from the core
Thought you knew me
Thought so many things didn’t you
You couldn’t be more wrong
A break from everything
Digging down deep
Thought you could be me
Thought everything was so easy
You have never been so wrong
So simple minded
So insignificant
If you didn’t know you already were

I’ve got a deal for your soul…

With an empty mind and a heart full of cold
Walking the earth seems less like a task
More like something I have to do
Writing down every thought of you
With an empty mind and a heart full of gold
Capsized in between two rivers
Taking another breath seems more like a task
Then it should have to
Intentions meant to ease my attention
Only seem to drown my head in more shit
With an empty mind and heart full of cold
Breaking away from myself seems less like a task
And more like something I have to do
Coughing up blood made of passion
Once cared now I fear that I don’t
Lonely symptom of existence
Going through easy days as if I have no choice

Now that we are talking about it… It kind of hurts..

Wasting time for no reason why
Thinking of all the things I could say
Wasting time looking for a reason
Thinking about how I could
If only I would
Have I told you yet about how tired I am?
Can’t stop thinking about all the wasted time
Can’t do anything I can’t do anything about
Depression, laziness, excuses
Wasting time for no reason at all
Thinking maybe today or tomorrow
Try never because all I do is
Waste time looking for a reason
To justify why I do what I do

Lately everything feels like it is going to hell… the world… shit around me… but I feel so calm… that none of it feels real… I’m so lost in my own selfishness… that as everything sinks under… burns to the ground… I don’t notice or care… feeling the heat… but what does it matter to me?… growing older?… growing smarter?… learned over time… that the more I try to fix… the worst everything becomes… can’t dodge the flames forever… but until they touch the skin?… what difference does it make?…

Life is a spinning wheel it seems… there is always something… something in the way… something clearing a path… something hurting me… something trying to kill… and it all feel so useless… does it matter if it will come any way?… I wouldn’t stand in front of a moving train and think I can stop this… so why would I fight the fucking wheel?… with the same out come… what am I fighting so hard for?… feel almost as if my human switches has been turned off… the passion… the drive… the anger… the screaming… doesn’t change a god damn thing… so why bother with any of it?…

How I feel… feels like depression… but maybe it is just realization… happenstance of enlightenment… this all comes off as me being an asshole and something so much more than I should be… duality of a situation… spent too much time trying to figure it all out… only to understand there is nothing at all to figure out… finding hope in the scars… looking for truth in a lie… burying myself so I don’t die… all pointless if you ask me…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

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