Take It All… Bone For Bone… Thought For Thought…

Been thinking a lot about life
Lately, forever, I don’t know
What all this could mean to me
Decomposing bodies
Thundering foot steps
Walking zombies
Doing what needs to be done?
Living or whatever we call it
Excuses made up to feel like lies
Truth so hard to come by
No one is willing to say
Not even me
Would you listen
Not even me
It’s interesting the things
We are willing to drag ourselves through
All seeing, dancing, and never knowing
Blinded by our own ever present
Desperation, desperately me
Who I was born to be

Do I wear a sign on my head that says I give a fuck?…

Tearing out the eyes
Removing the skin
Burn the rest that you won’t eat
A cannibal corpse
Built up on lost dreams
Cutting out the tongue
Removing the hair
Destroy the evidence you won’t need
A lifeless corpse
Laid to rest upon broken dreams
Crushing the skull
Removing the thoughts
Take what you need and leave the rest
An empty shell
Given up to shattered dreams
Take what you want
Take it all
Doesn’t matter
The soul has been sold
Long ago

You know that feeling when you wake up and you realize the meaning of life is nothing you are doing today?.. That’s how I feel…

A dead weight within my skin
What am I doing here
If nothing at all
An idea wasted on the living
Overspent on the dead
Spend too much time wondering
When to join them
Moving from side to side
Avoiding the facts of the matter
A shadow in the dark
Not pushed hard enough
Regret for all the things left undone

Was unsure when I was going to bring this up… in the middle… at the end… fate as it turned out… decided that now was the best time to begin… apologies in advance… there will be a lot of Broken Thoughts… about quitting and giving up… if you didn’t notice the theme already… because well…

I was really thinking about it… not killing myself… though I guess in a sense it would be one in the same… no… I’ve been… well I was thinking of shutting the whole operation down… the website.. the books… the constant need to be doing something… working on something… the grind of it all… so of course… I did what anyone in that situation would do… I wrote… added two more projects to the pile and moved the fuck on… if you were betting today was the day… sorry to disappoint… it is what I am best at…

If you have been here since the beginning… then you are more than familiar with my self doubt… it is a constant… and I don’t see it going away any time soon… if ever… if this is your first post of mine you have read… strap in… this ride only spins in circles… : )

So… there we go… I’m sure a whole hell of a lot hasn’t gotten done… but I’m also very sure that a whole lot has… in the next three months I’m going to try and do something different… yet very much the same… of course I waited to the last second… of course I had all the time in the world… and of course I’m not prepared for shit… so here we go… time to begin…

Layne Ambrose… 12/16/19

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

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Broken Thoughts Vol. 1: Between You and Me

3 thoughts on “Take It All… Bone For Bone… Thought For Thought…”

  1. I find that I understand exactly what you’re talking about without any effort on my part. I’m in the same place you were when you wrote this. Self-loathing, what’s the point, and I’m absolute shit anyway. But I keep pushing through because now I feel responsible… for …. you know.. THIS. Eh. Cheers, man. We’ll pull through. I guess we always sort of do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is hard to overcome… we will pull through… even if pulling through seems to be the hardest thing at the moment… always important to remember that it is only a moment in time… and time is full of many moments… just need to stay focused on your goals… and you are a fantastic writer… so don’t let that get you down… just your mind playing tricks on you…

      You got this… I got this… we got this… now we just got to do it… (My motivation level is at about a 3 right now… so maybe tomorrow… but it will get done at some point…)

      Liked by 1 person

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