People With No Name

“Is there anything I can help you find?” The customer looks over from the entry way of the store at the short stubby clerk standing behind the counter. The customer only came in for one item and has no idea where in this store it could possibly be.
“Yes you can I’m looking for. Oh it’s right there. Right in front of me the whole time.” The customer smiles as she reaches for the simple item on the shelf in front of her.
“Glad we could be of some help,” the clerk smiles. The customer gives off a short laugh as she carries the item to the counter.

“Me too. Does that happen a lot?”
“What do you mean?” The clerk asks the customer.
“Someone asks you where something is and they find it right in front of them?”
“Yes it happens a lot. They say it’s my gift.”
“That’s funny. Who says that?” the customer asks.
“The people with no name.”
“Who?,” the customer asks puzzled.
“The people with no name,” the clerk says calmly.
“Is that other customers?”

“No, I’m sorry I’ve said too much. I didn’t realize you didn’t know, never mind.”
“Know what?” the customer asks taken back.
“I’ve said too much. Are you ready to check out?”
“Where are these people you speak of?”
“If you must know they’re all around us. Can’t you at least feel them?”

The customer shakes her head and starts to become even more confused.
“They control everything and everything controls them. How do you not know about the people with no name?”
“Is there a manager or someone I can talk to?” the customer asks politely.
“Of course there is but why would you need to speak to them?”
“Because I do. In private if that’s okay?”
“Of course, of course just a moment please.” The clerk turns his head and begins to whisper as if someone is there, but there is no one the customer can see.

“The manager will be here in a moment.”
“But you didn’t even page or call anyone.”
“Yes I did,” the clerk says sternly.
“No you didn’t. Can you please page the manager for me?”
“Ma’am I already did and she will be here in just a moment.”
“What the hell is going on here?”

“How may I help you today?” A female voice asks.
The customer turns around to face the woman. “Are you the manager?”
“Yes I am, how may I help you?” She asks again.
“I need to talk to you in private,” the customer says as if to test the manager’s sanity.
“We have a non-believer,” the clerk informs the manager.
“Just because I don’t hear voices that make me a non-believer in something?,” the customer asks irate.
“You don’t hear them?” The manager asks politely.
“Hear what?” The customer demands.
“The people who have no name,” the manager says.
“There are no people here. Have you two lost your minds?”
“Ma’am there is no reason to be rude,” the clerk says.
The manager turns her head and begins to whisper and again no one is there.

“They say you are just not ready.”
“Not ready for what? Are you saying I’m not ready to hear voices in my head?”
“We don’t hear voices in our head ma’am. The voices are all around us. I tried to explain that the people are all around us, but I don’t think she understands.”
“How can she understand anything we are talking about if she does not believe?” The manager asks as if the customer isn’t even there.
“This is all just madness. I am calling someone I hope you know that and I’m never shopping here again.”

The customer throws her item up on the counter and storms out of the store. The manager calmly walks over to the counter and picks up the item, “Some people just aren’t ready yet.”
“I know it saddens me, but maybe one day.”
A hand reaches out from behind the clerk and rests on his shoulder.
“One day they will all believe,” the owner of the hand reveals.

About Time I Suppose

I always feel the need to do something more tangible. Something a little more personal. The thought washes over me like a wave. A tide that I’m slowly drowning in until well here we go. Recently I finally purchased my own little piece of where ever the hell I am now. You are all welcome to never come over so, knowing where that is, is irrelevant to the situation. Point is that I finally got some land. Not much one to two acres out way from most civilization. Enough to pretend that nothing else exists, but still close enough to get decent internet.

I even got all the things needed to take care of the land. Riding lawnmower, a weed eater, and whatever else. I got everything I tell everyone who might ask though no one ever does. The problem is though I don’t like to be outside. I like the idea of being outside, but never see the point of being out there. It’s like how I like the idea of walking around naked in my house, but I don’t because it’s not practical. What if someone comes over? We’ve spent hundreds of years perfecting inside. Why the fuck would I want to go outside? Needless to say the yard has become over grown and there is a fine layer of dust over all the things I needed to make sure that this didn’t happen.

Letting the yard go was a mistake. Not because there might be snakes or rodents or even monster out there. Who the fuck knows I don’t go outside. It was a mistake because apparently despite my best efforts I do have neighbors and they have a son. Nothing unusual, nothing too strange about having a child. I have one or whatever. The problem is that they saw my laziness as an opportunity for their son to take on a challenge. Never a great start because who the fuck what’s to do something their parents want them to do? I’d be a doctor by now if I had listen to my parents, but things work out how they work out. Or as my mother likes to remind me, “There’s still time.”  I’m half dead. There is barely time to do what I am already doing.

So I hired the kid because his parents were brave enough to knock on my door and speak to me for more than thirty seconds. Yes, that’s all it takes. Anything to get them away from my house. I would have given them the keys to the house if that would have been an option, but my family needs a place to stay. They are weak and too afraid of what is in the tall grass. “Sad,” a quote we can all use now. So the kid comes over once a week to cut my grass and watch me walk around naked in my house. It was awkward at first, but there might be things out there lurking in the grass.

Random As Random Can Be

Notes from History Class (This is the class I liked.)

Now I really don’t understand how this really works but I know that I need to be doing something since I am just sitting in class not saying anything or doing anything. I really don’t know why I continue to come to this class but I know I can’t miss another day because I have already hit my limit of miss days. I should be wasting my time typing up my next paper but instead I am talking to myself.

The big picture, we the people only voted for representatives

Basically says all governments all exist at the same time. Checks and balances. Everyone wants to rule the world. Tears for fears mother fucker. Oh yeah weak 80’s references.  Back to solitaire.

He believed that he was there for the good of the people.

This is going to be a long class filled with labor and death thou shall not consume water ever again. The nation was built on the idea of for the people by the people. All comes back to the declaration of independence. Most kings were there because of the divine right of kings.  Its thirteen little babies of death sucking at the tit of mother Russia. Kill kill, kill crew we strive to labor over the death of salvation but we bleed the history we choose to forget. Life can roll, roll right on down the hill, smashing the homes and our own people. Like a revolving wheel that has no purpose or no will.

A diamond ring made of your bone and flesh, pressed down hard beyond the limits of crushing. Hardened into a stone for my bony finger, your luxury is only pain for me, bleeding you, bleeding you dry, bleeding you, bleeding you dry.  Stock market crashes and so does your head, body out of window thrown into the wind, dropping, dropping to the ground, black market fall out, fall out, destruction in your mind, bleeding you, bleeding you, dry, bleeding you, bleeding you dry. I don’t want much just the soul you hold dear and love, I don’t want much just the soul you hold dear and love, there is no need to fear me, I’m the government you did not elect, there is no need to fear me, I’m the government put in place to protect, our own interest, our own interest, bleeding you, bleeding you dry, bleeding you, bleeding you dry. Bottom feeders, it is time to rise, rise, rise, and clam your own lives, rise, rise, bleeding you dry, rise, rise, bleeding you dry, rise, rise

A government that governs less governs best. A government left burning is the one still left turning, the increasing debt, rises at the cost of our own expense, what have you done? Now is your time to speak up, what have you done? Now is your time to speak up, what have you done? National health care is at an all time low, the money lining your pockets is at an all time high, people live in fear, of seeking care, people live in pain, to scared to receive care, what have you done? Now is your time to speak up, what have you done, now is the time to speak up, what have you done? The increasing debt, is being paid for by our blood, the increasing national debt, is being paid for by threat, forced to live in fear, forced to die in tears, what have you done? Now is the time to speak up, what have you done? Now is the time to speak up, what have you done?

Is the law that makes the bank constitutional Maryland or the law of genius falls hard onto the swords of death and frustration yet we bleed only to mop up the floor with our blood.  Southerners are going to follow Jefferson because he is from the south and the south follows anyone like sheep to a heard. Anything in the state of Maryland is going to bank in the state power of vaginal glory. All hail the wicked.

Where does the power lie when it comes to state power and federal power? He says it is in fact conditionals. There is a list in the constitution that gives congress the powers to pay for things. If marshal does not make that design we are back to the article of confederation type of government. Man is going crazy because the class will not speak up.  Will be the supreme law of the land, anytime federal laws conflicted with state laws, federal always wins. John Marshal strengths the federal government.

Each of the four men helped to define the federal government. A puppet government made up of Bert and Ernie dancing around sucking each other off like fascist at a dinner party. Why is the case important then?

We sold our souls for the great American dollar

“Wal-Mart doesn’t care about you”
the government doesn’t care about you
who does care about you?

We are a nation made of bastards and liars
from the time of our origin to now

If you made it this far. This is from my time in college about eight years ago… See health care has been a problem for a while… I’m not going to get all political… Well I might, but the thing that I like about America, among other things,  is this idea that we can say what we want… So I try not to judge when other people or I say stupid shit… We all do even after eight years and a filter… It happens.. Words are words.. It is by our actions that we should be judged… Of course this never happens… 

Choking On The Feeling

Do you ever feeling like there is no place for you in the world or that you think you know your place, but maybe that really isn’t your place? My cousin recently graduated from the Marines. Horrible pick for employment given the current leader. The point is though that for as long as I can remember anything about him he wanted to be a solider.

From a young age, the last time I happen to even see him, he knew his place in the world. Good or bad choice aside he wanted that and he got it. I don’t have any feelings for him. No sense of lost memories. We could pass each other on the street tomorrow and I’d keep walking, but I feel so happy for him right now. I am happy he has found a place and a place he wants to be. I’m about to turn thirty and I have no place. So sense of purpose in this world. I want to be writer, but I have my doubts.

Growing up all I ever wanted to do was do something in music. Having no talent, no friends to piggy back on, and no aptitude to even learn an instrument I dove into the part I was good at. Writing lyrics became writing poems. Writing poems became telling stories. It took a long time, but that is where I am now. Trying to write stories to find my purpose. At this moment in time I have published nothing, sold nothing, and with every passing day doubt myself and any talent I might have. I don’t even know another writer. Part of the reason I wanted to be a writer is that I could do it on my own. Which is becoming less and less true as time goes on.

It takes a village or so I hear, but what does it take if you don’t have one? What am I fighting for if there is no hope of winning? I have everything I want, well need, I want a lot of shit I don’t need, but writing didn’t get me the things that I wanted. The people around me did. My mom, my wife, my daughter, and the guy who hired me at my current job provided me the opportunities to be where I am today.

Lost, but still here. I hope writing pans out. I hope it is my place in this world. Not really sure I have enough time to find another and start working towards that from the ground up. Maybe I am thinking about it too much? My cousin was only a kid when he said he wanted to be a solider and technically he is three months in to his place in life. Five years from now he might not even want to be a solider. I’m fifteen years into mine and all I want to be is a writer. Well a good father, a good husband, and a good son. Sometimes it may feel like we have no place in the world, but all that means is that we aren’t done fighting yet.

A Lie Preview

Days Keep on Going

Every day is exactly the same with only one slight variance. Wake up, take drugs, and go to either work or school. On really good days I just sit here and never move. This is what my life has become since she left me. My own personal prison. I can’t really say that I hate it all that much. We are all after some sort of prison when you stop to think about it. At least mine is my own.

Lately I haven’t had to go to college because of winter break, and to be honest I wasn’t really going that much before anyways so it’s all the same to me. School starts in a few weeks, I am almost certain, and I’m really not looking forward to it at all. I never wanted to go there in the first place, but my Mom told me if I wanted to continue to live in my house that I had to go to school. Really kind of a shitty situation but then again I live rent free. This frees up my money for the things that keep me going.

I know a man in town and he basically keeps me hooked to stay alive. It’s a rather sad existence, but hey I am still alive. I’m currently at work on one of my two fifteen minute breaks. I work in a drug store and some might say that’s not the best place for someone on drugs to work, but they were hiring and I need a job. When I started though I was a lot more stable. Working here isn’t really that bad, it’s just a bit mind numbing. It’s surprising the amount of stupid people in the world, but then again it’s probably not. I have a lot of time to reflect on such trivial thoughts such as intelligence. I work up front which is to say that I man the cash register. The company likes to pretend that I am nothing more than a cashier by giving me the title check out specialist. I don’t specialize in anything other than getting you the fuck out.

I could care less about your problems even though I smile and nod the whole time. All I am really thinking about is how much longer will your bullshit really affect me. I hate it when people talk to me about what they are buying as if I care at all. I really don’t care that you are buying laxatives, condoms, and a Mother’s Day card. All of this is trivial and pointless to me and my life.

It only gets better from here. Not a fan? Literally gets better from here because. Almost had me. I love to talk about my book. Questions? Ask them. Seriously comment away or get at me on twitter. It is sad and lonely in this cage. The chicken stopped talking once I ate him, and let’s be honest he didn’t have much to say before that either….

Hold Me Back

His body is still right before it slams into the hood of the minivan. The impact throws his body like a rag doll out of my view, and further into the busy street. I rush to be near him, but I have a feeling he is closer to me now than ever before. His body lays in a tangled mess of blood, lacerations, and broken bones. The man I once loved is no longer there and all that exist is his empty shell of a body.

A crowd starts to form around his body as I fall to my knees. I cry like I have never cried before. I cry as if my tears will bring him back to life and end this pain running through my body. I try to hold him, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m so lost and confused, and there is so much blood. Someone calls 911, but it is too late for them to do anything. The blood takes the form of a trail leading to the nearest sewage drain. I don’t know what that means. Does any of this mean anything at all? I grab his body with all my love, “What does any of this mean?”

The paramedics arrive and ask me to let go of him, but I can’t bring myself to let go of his body. “Sir you need to let go of him. Sir he needs to go to the hospital,” one of them repeats over and over again. They force me to let go of him and I am covered in his blood. The cops hold me back as the paramedics load his body onto the ambulance, and drive him away. Leaving me behind in a world that doesn’t understand. A world that doesn’t care what we have been through.

Really Lost the Meaning

Locked in a box that is known as America. It is easy to pick out the problems that each of us faces on a daily biases. Rich or poor we are always finding faults in the way that we live. Continuously we bring these faults on ourselves. The rich blame the poor and the poor blame the rich for each and every one of their problems. It is easy to see how we have gotten here over time. How each and every great nation, country, or whatever bull shit you want to call it has gotten here. Flipped through history and you will find countless tales of the same issues. Immigration, security, taxes, lack of education, etc. These problems we are faced with are not new or even that interesting anymore because they will always be problems. Someone always has to be the one with the short stick.

Call it God, call it fate, call it the devil’s own way, but whatever you call it, it is still there. What’s interesting is the lack of understanding of the problems and why we are faced with them. Most if not all of us would be okay with all of it if it was only a little bit fairer. Granted I understand that giving an inch will only lead to a mile, but honestly the top 1% control the bottom 99%. I wonder what kind of world we would be living in if it was more 60/40 or even 70/30? It would feel like a god damn utopia for at least what 2000 more years? Who the fuck knows. What is known is that there will always be someone above you, over you, or fucking you in some way.

This called a constant and the way of the world. Won’t change no matter what primitive cousin to the primate we put in charge. Man will find a way to fuck it up. We will find a way to destroy it because we still haven’t figured out how to fix it. The whole history book thing. Though we are getting better at drawing it out so, I guess that is something to be proud of. Still hoping we can figure out the whole bathroom issue sometime soon.

I feel like this is really holding us up as a society. We could do what they do in Japan and just have every public restroom be a hole in the ground. No that would be too simple and the legislation too short. What is a bill or a law if it isn’t over a thousand pages making sure it disenfranchises at least one person? Hippie propaganda.  Really lost the meaning of what I was trying to say here at about the second sentence.

America has problems, yes. So does every other nation in history up until now. Some have gotten some of it right and others don’t have a fucking clue as to what the word right even means. There are continents with major issues. Looking at you Africa. Seriously what the fuck? I mean the continent has a serious anti-homosexual stance which is fucked up enough. This alone would be like hey we need to talk about some stuff here. Please take a seat. But then on top of all that they are also mutilating innocent little girls because? They are fucking up vaginas while having a serious problem with homosexuals. That’s beyond we need to talk. That’s some dark shit. I never met the man, but I feel like even Ted Bundy would be like that’s a little too far or he’d clap. Really could go either way with that example. Do you like women or hate them? So confused on the overall message a large part of Africa is trying to get across. Where do you transition from there I’m not too sure.

Slave labor in other countries, human trafficking, mass starvation, or religious extremists? Honestly I can’t get over the bathroom issue and how unjustified it is. Something needs to be done god damn it. We invented greatness (patent pending) and we can solve this problem. We need to solve this problem before it ends up like another one of those big-ticket issues such as abortion or global genocide. I mean are we not heading to another civil war or are we not heading to another civil war. The chaos and panic in the streets is horrific and must be stopped. I mean we could put in place a higher minimum wage, free higher education, and free healthcare. I personally know that having a billion dollars is not enough to live a comfortable and sustaining life. I need every one of those dollars for things. Things made by people I don’t pay or care about. It’s a cycle but it looks more like a pile of shit. Luckily I happen to be on top of it. Make America great again? How about taxing the rich again? Are you out of your mind?