Too Many Things Left To Do… Broken Thoughts…

Making my way
Paved and incomplete
Searching for answers
Without any clues
Working on getting free
Giving all my time away
Never as easy as they say
Cracked, open, free
Waiting out the end of the world
Making my way
Concentrating on the inconveniences
Digging up clues
Without any resolution

“The Lord only gives us as much as we can handle. Because you either kill yourself or handle it. It isn’t divine reasoning. It is common sense.”

Without you everything feels pointless
Standing here asking how
Laying here on the ground
Breathing was never the most important thing
Sleeping off this discussion
A moment longer and we could kill each other
Without everything seems so pointless
Sitting here wondering how
Hovering above the ground
Living was never the most important thing
Dying off this reason
A moment longer and maybe then I’d have known
The love I thought we lost
Spent too much time wondering
And not asking

“I wish it would rain. Shit on everyone’s parade.”

Can’t get these thoughts out of my head
Here’s to another lifetime of this
Speaking in riddles, tongues tied to not say
How I truly feel about all of this
Thoughts come crashing back in
A drink is more than what I need
And all that I want
Just need something to set me straight
Not forever but for a time
Locked in this skin
Is not good for anyone, let alone me
I’ll bring you the fire if you supply the water
Drowning out, snuffing out all my desires
Anything to not let me be me

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Pressed Against The Wall… Seeping Into The Cracks…

Slowly

Carrying the weight of our souls
On my back through this living hell
I wish for more
But all I get is the same
Carnivorous, carnivores
We eat our young
Shit out the old
A machine made of razor blade teeth
The cycle won’t end
For fear that all will be lost
For fear of death
For fear of something different
We think that we know everything
We know nothing beyond the idea of despise
The fact we can breathe
Is a miracle in of itself
Embrace this, embrace it all
With an open heart and closed eyes
See where it takes us after all
Slowly declining such a sad existence
Slowly inhaling
Slowly exhaling
Slowly breathing this all away

 

One Piece At A Time

Against all odds
Pulled it off
But lost it all
If you think you know
You learn to find
You know nothing at all
The importance of thought
A grain of sand
In a giant tidal wave of shit
You drown in it
You struggle threw it
But in the end
You only learn to live with it

 

A Place Called Home

Slowly killing myself
Slowly killing you
I take you down with me
To a deep dark hole
I’ve come to call my soul
After everything we’ve done
After everything I’ve said
There’s not much left to love
A fear I have come to commend
Slowly killing myself
Slowly killing you
I take you within me
To have and to hold
Forever of old
To a place called home

How is it that nothing is ever finished?… day after day… year after year… always something new to say about the same damn thing?… a broken cycle?… or… the way it is?… Is this my journey?… or… all I have to say?… being trapped in my house isn’t… well any different than normal for me… locked away in hiding… is basically my overall goal in life… odd that the idea of prison or hell… scares me… I don’t even believe in one of those… funny how we fear the very thing we want… broken… the only conclusion I have found… outside of being human…

Moving on… Broken Thoughts Vol 2… should be out by now… if all goes as planned… how did you enjoy it?… a step in the right direction or a step off a cliff?… the deep end I should pull myself out of once again?… self doubt is the essence of my existence… and the nail that will do me in… I fear it all as much as I want it… so… in the end… all I want is fear… comforting… if uncomfortable after all…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

Say It With Your Chest…

Can't See It Directly… Broken Thoughts…

I gave you everything and you took it away
This is the sound it makes
Still meant it all the same
Still meant the same thing in the end
Words spoken with no tongues
A fools idea of what this all is meant to mean
I’d give my life to God but he won’t have me
Driving the nails down deep
You’d think I’d remember but I just can’t sleep
Gave up on God when he gave up on me
Think I’d remember but I just can’t believe
The nails drive deep, the pain reaches to my feet
Thought I had seen it all
Knew when I said the words I was wrong

My depression doesn’t leave too much room for admiration…

I’m suicidal and I couldn’t tell you
What I’d do to let this all go
Spent too much time on useless things
Too much energy wasted to care anymore

Sadness consumes me and I move on…

Your promises go quiet
Replaced with lies
Seems to happen every time
I become comfortable
A pattern that is too hard to ignore
How I feel inside confuses me
Pain, hatred, hurt, alone
Running in circles inside my head
Can’t expect you to stay
When I’m so busy running away
Your promises never stay the same
Hard to keep track of everything in my head
Want to say something but I know it is in vain
Wasted time wasting away
Could what you say really mean
What you think it does
All this time and I’m left with regret
Used, mad, thrown away, isolated
A world moved past me
What do I do now that
All of your promises have faded away
Stuck between two spaces
Two frames of mind is a empty place to be

Using an old logo… because why not?.. spend too much time thinking about useless things… a lot of random thoughts this week… the blood in the picture isn’t real… I did gnaw at the glass to see what it tasted like… feeling pretty random… feel a whole lot like that last piece… trapped between two spaces of mind… keep it going… or leave the dead where they be… lonely place to be… not sure if lonely is the right word… fuck it… changed it… that’s what notes are for… will only makes sense to me… in this empty place…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

That Was No Easy Task… Broken Thought…

Broken dreams laid out in a conscious stream
You can see them but did you ever really need them?
A question to haunt the brain
A question to question everything
What is it that is so damn important?
Risking to waste away
What’s worth so much
To sacrifice your soul
The answer hangs some where in the air
Like the feeling between lightning and thunder
Doesn’t matter, know it has to happen, right?
Waiting out the apocalypse
A lifetime thinking, knowing it has to come
Been told so many times to hold on
The end of life and the beginning of another
Ignorance truly is bliss
Not knowing is worth so much more
Than knowing anything at all
She said, the Lord preached, life handed
Nothing at all
Is what it was and was what it is
A long day strung out into a lifetime
Day to day existence was all there was
Ever meant to be
Fighting the ocean will only get you wet
Drag you under the weight of it all
Ignorance has to be bliss
There is no other answer that makes any sense
Screaming into the vast canyon
Screaming until there are no more words
Throat cracked and bleeding
No answer, no sound has ever come back to me
Standing here wasting time
Trying to figure out what I’m doing
Nothing at all

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Hanging Onto Repeated Thoughts…

If It Mattered

It wouldn’t be so bad
If it wasn’t for all the guilt
It wouldn’t be so bad
If it wasn’t all that I could think about
It wouldn’t be so bad
If it wasn’t an addiction
It wouldn’t be so bad
If it wasn’t for all the thoughts of suicide
It wouldn’t be so bad
If I could only do it in the end
It wouldn’t be so bad
If I would only let it but I can’t

If I Had Known

I’ve waited too long
Thought I knew what was best
Knew nothing all along
My thoughts they repeat
Stuck on a word that
Won’t last long
All the thoughts in my head
Hurt as though made of glass
Each one poking and stabbing
Till there is nothing at all
I repeat the cycle
Forcing something that can’t be forced
I need something new
What that is I’m unsure
My future is all planned
A future of not at all

Layne Ambrose
Chewing On Glass

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Broken Thoughts On Demand…

Now Available

Broken Thoughts Vol. 1 : Between Me and You

Featuring

New Short Stories… New Poems… and A Healthy Serving of Broken Thoughts

Available In Paperback and Kindle Format…

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Volume 2 Available Summer 2020

Broken Thoughts On Demand…

Now Available

Broken Thoughts Vol. 1 : Between Me and You

Featuring

New Short Stories… New Poems… and A Healthy Serving of Broken Thoughts

Available In Paperback and Kindle Format…

Get Your Copy Today

Volume 2 Available Summer 2020