For Fox…

I know this is late… Time differences… and such… can’t blame it all on the world spinning though… I’m known for being late… so some of it… I guess is on me… 

Happy Birthday Fox….

At Their Mercy
“All men are at the mercy of their women. They like to pretend they are big and strong, complete in some way. Men like to portray that they need no one, but in reality, they need someone. Writers are no different. Writer’s need someone more than any other type of person. Behind every great story is an even great heartache.” I take a sip from my glass. “So, who broke your heart then?” She smiles. “Whom,” I say before looking away, “I’m afraid I haven’t seen all of their faces yet. Let alone know their names.” She laughs, her breasts jiggle as she pretends to be amused by my charm. “You are good,” she smiles. This is how it begins.

Something smashes against the wall. Doesn’t matter what. All that matters is that it lies in pieces at my feet. A losing battle with no real winner. Most are once it gets to this point. This point of not caring about personal things. Everything is a weapon if you let it be. Random objects are no different. Her words much of the same. “You are a piece of shit. You know that don’t you? I hope you know that. It was that girl down the hall wasn’t it? With her tight ass and sexy ways.” Always with the accusations never any facts. Digging and scratching for anything until the lies become truth. For once I’d like to be presented with some truth. Though truthfully I wonder if the girl down the hall is seeing anyone. “You know I used to be sexy. Until I met you. Then you fattened me up to the point you didn’t want me anymore.” There could be some truth in there, but I’m not sure what parts at the moment. I stay silent. Past experiences tell me to stay silent. When she is calm I can leave. I dodge yet another object. It crashes into the wall. This time leaving a hole where it now sits. “You are an asshole. You used me all up and now you want to leave me? I won’t let you. You’re not leaving me because I’m leaving your cheating ass.” More things fly. That’s all they are, are things. Words and things. For some that is all they have. They work for things, to get more things, to break those said things.

“You have nothing to say for yourself? Of course you don’t. All your real emotions go into those stupid stories of yours. Your worthless piece of shit stories. You are a horrible writer. You know that?” I must be getting pretty good to derive this much emotion. Maybe I am ready for the world? “You pretend to be all profound, but that’s just it. You are a pretender. You pretend like you give a shit and you pretend like you can fuck. But you know what asshole? You can’t, so I hope little miss whatever the fuck likes going to bed wondering when a real man is showing up. Because the Lord knows I’m still waiting.” Still I say nothing. Though I want her now more than ever. I don’t take the bait. I would have been gone by now, but you never turn your back on a wounded animal. Never, I’ve got the scars to prove it. “Jesus. Nothing, still nothing?” A long silence filled only with her heavy breathing. “Just get out. Get out of here already.” I pack quickly. No use taking things I don’t need. That was the point of all of this. Getting rid of the things I don’t need.

I make my way out the door and down the street. I make my way to yet another bar. Passing the familiar places I call home. Each one filled with too many women who have heard too many of my lines. They are getting stale. The lines sound cheap in my head and even cheaper out of my mouth. I enter this new place. By new I mean one I haven’t been to recently. She sits at the end of the bar. Not my typical type but in desperate times what is a man to do? She pretends to be uninterested and I have found my way in. It is easy to find yet another one I can take a hold of. Because all men are at the mercy of their women, but really all women are at the mercy of their men.

 

Hopefully you enjoyed this tale… heavily inspired by Bukowski… and bad times… Have a wonderful birthday… 

Ambrose… 

Fact or Fiction

“I know your life is a never ending nightmare full of horror and deceit. I know you are often at odds with yourself and this horrid thing called life. Every morning is filled with contempt as you have this endless debate on whether or not you should kill yourself in your shower or while your K-cup brews or in your car that is neither new nor old but works just fine. These things I know because I’m sitting right next to you. These things I know because I’m looking at the same things you are. These things I know because we share the same eco-friendly renewable water source in the same god damn forsaken city on the banks of some form of water. I know all these things, I think all these things because I too live a life of perfect balanced, zero struggle life know as modern society. Chances are we think the same exact way but out of pure boredom let’s say I don’t. Because we have to be different in this world. We have to be special when it comes to things like this in life. Odds are against us though beyond our thoughts. We went to the same school, learned from the same books, ate the same shitty food, and lived near perfect replicas of the same life. Let me guess you played doctor? Let me guess you owned a copy of GTA 3? Let me guess you couldn’t catch’em all on paper or digitized? Let me guess you thought you were special? Well you’re not, you and I are more alike than you and I might think. We are so close you and I that we could be one in the same. Chances are we are in fact the same robotic, institutionalized, modern guilt individuals walking side by side right now. We could say hello to one another but we won’t. We could relate our dream suicide scenario but we won’t. We could discuss just how much we actually hate each other but we won’t. Because what’s the point? Why tell you everything you already know? Why bother letting you in on our little secrets? We all have secrets, guilty pleasures, they are all the same but we have them. We imagine that they are the little things that make us different. That the tidbits of information we hold dear separate us from fact and fiction. When really there is no such thing. We live a life of fact and fiction. We live a life of knowing we are the same, fact. We live a life thinking in some way we are different, fiction. We live lives that are exactly the same. We fuck women and men who are exactly the same. We blindly follow the dumbest of our kind because we know that they are the same. We read books and stories, watch movies and shows on people or about people who are exactly the same. And like you I will do nothing to change this. Like you I will ride this life into the ground hoping for something better but being served up the exact same. There is no difference between animal and man we were put here to do the exact same, suffer until our last dying breathe.”

“What an interesting report Timothy,” the teacher calls out. “Not quite A material but informative all the same in its own way. Go ahead and take your seat with the rest of the class.” She shuffles some papers, disheveled herself, “Umm if we could have Stephanie, Stephanie Keaton come up next.” Stephanie gets up from her seat and takes her place at the head of the class. “Now Stephanie why don’t you tell us what you did this summer.”

 

Liebster Award Nominee and a Butt Ton of Questions… (Fun Post)

Hey… I was nominated for an award by Ken over at https://kenslitepen.wordpress.com/ 

Ken produces some of the deepest and most amazing poetry. Personal favorite is My Mother… He also started writing flash fiction and should do more of it… Poke… I want more Ken… Don’t make me have to beg…

I look forward to his post and I hope you do too… So check him out… Ken

In accordance with the award’s nature… I had to thank the person that nominated me… display the award’s picture on my blog… and list 10 random things about myself…. This also should be done by my nominees…

10 random things about me

  1.  I like to wear only black clothes… Making an exception for my custom Little Fears shirt…
  2. I’m really into not being in…
  3. I paint…
  4. I love trap, rap, and R&B music… and ZEF Rap…
  5. My favorite show is Always Sunny in Philadelphia… Seinfeld on Crack…
  6. I’m really into comic books… I have way too many and by that I mean not enough…
  7. Japanese food is my favorite… Yakisoba… from northern Japan…
  8. Daredevil is my favorite super hero… because his power is that he is blind…
  9. I have daily doubts about what my favorite song is…
  10. I really like commas… despite my over use of periods…

I nominate

B.

Mintly

Alex

Soren and Fox

Ally L. Mare

Unsure how to tag people so hopefully the links work or I screwed this all up…

I was asked these two questions

  1. What would you consider as the most embarrassing moment of your life…
    I was telling someone I liked the band Alien Sex Fiend… but I said Anal Sex Fiend… yeah… that someone was my father-in-law….
  2. If you were a bird, who would you shit on 😂
    First off I am a bird… well a type of bird… and I shit on myself constantly… So more of that…

So now, to my nominees here are my questions for you.

  1. What is your favorite kind of post to read or write?… doesn’t have to be your most popular…
  2. How often should someone changes their underwear?… there’s no wrong answer, but best answer wins…

 

I kind of just want to ask people random questions now… I know all of these people, but do I know them… Is it odd to know all of our thoughts and feelings on life, but we have no idea what each of our favorite colors are?… Something to chew on…