I’ll Tell You What To Do… And You Will Get It Done…

Killing, Dragging, Taking

Slowly dying, the grave inside your heart
You say you don’t want to hurt
But it does
Slowly dying, the voice inside my head
It says it doesn’t want to hurt
But it does
Slowly dying, to the words inside our hearts
Meant something once 
But it turns out they never did
Slowly dying and it is all that I have left
Slowly dying and it is all that we have left
Slowly dying and I don’t know 
Slowly dying and we can’t stop
Slowly dying to feel something that isn’t there

The voice inside my head
Would leave me for dead
The voice inside my head
Screaming the words
Shaking the cages of my home
The voice inside my head
Would leave me for dead
The voice inside my head
Never cared about me
Never cared about anything
The voice inside my head
Has been all I’ve known

Slowly I’m getting there
Slowly I have become more
Slowly I will be something
Slowly I’ve adopted the reasons
Slowly I’m succumbing to
The voice inside my head
Killing me all over again
Dragging me further down
Taking all that it wants

 

Dead, Alive

Compassion for a pointless point
Suicide is a four letter word
Tucked away deep in the mind
Give up, giving in
Still trying to decide the difference
Been dead, dying inside
What’s one more day without an option?

Passion for a pointless reason
Living is a five letter word
Tucked away deep in the mind
Gave up, giving in
Still trying to decide the difference
Alive, dying inside
What’s one more day with an option? 

 

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Really thought the phone thing might work… okay… I didn’t really… but I thought at least I would write something… and I didn’t… haven’t written anything new in the last month… until today… Killing, Dragging, Taking… It isn’t all that great… I would barely call it good enough… but I had to get it out… Had to say something… force myself back into the habit of writing… 

That’s the worst part of stepping away… away from anything really… is getting back into it… no matter how bad you want it… don’t mean shit… until you do it… and yes I feel like shit… feel as though I have been drained… and I fucking love it… so fuck it let’s get this shit started up all over again… : )… Lets burn this mother fucker down… keep swinging my friends… because no one’s Killing, Dragging, or Taking us… anytime soon… 

 

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Taking It For A Test Ride… Part 2

Welcome to Taking It For a Test Ride Part 2… (Temporary title… I’ll come up with something more ridicules later…)… Part 1 can be found here… (Link)… or you could just look at yesterday’s post… not judging your laziness… Pretty sure I’m going to forget to even add the link… Hell I was on the fence on whether or not I would even do this post… So lets jump into it before I wander off into the woods and find something shiny or something dead to play with… 

 

Movie Review 2

Hotel Artemis

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Spoilers Ahead

 

Where to begin with this shit show… Yet another film I have watched recently where the actors are amazing… the world built is fascinating… and yet none of it really matters… Personally I’m pretty sure someone watched John Wick and said, “Hey, I can do that.”… Well as it turns out they couldn’t… John Wick wasn’t and isn’t perfect… what that film is though is original for the most part… Don’t get me wrong… this film doesn’t just rip the face off of John Wick and then spread it out evenly between a collection of characters…

Okay… maybe it does a little bit… A lot of this film is spent showing how this world’s Los Angeles is and what it has become… a gangster ridden shit box without any water… basically people are pissed… and if anyone knows the history of LA… when they get pissed shit goes down… None of which is really that important to our characters because… well they are bad ass killers, thieves, assholes, and all around menaces to society… so people having or not having water… people rioting in the streets for their right to clean water… don’t mean shit to these miscreants… What it does mean though… for you as the viewer… is that all of this will be taking place in… you guessed it… Hotel Artemis

Honestly not a bad setup to why we can’t go outside… Problem being… I feel like the real issues… what we should really be concerned with is outside of the hotel for assholes… But that could probably be because the world… our world is really heading that way… then again fuck’em… water isn’t a basic human right… it’s not like we need it to survive… so lets spend the next 94 minutes figuring out what the fuck these assholes are up too…

They aren’t up to much… because the Hotel Artemis isn’t really a hotel… It is more of a criminal hospital… with lots of rules… rules that must be followed… or you die… do you understand?… Good… because we are going to break most of them… even a really big… maybe the most important one… Don’t let a cop into the den of deceit… and for no real reason at all we fucking do it… well there is a reason… this wasn’t really all that poorly written… but they really did follow the method of… “Oh, this would be really awesome”… “Shit I’m in a hole”… “How do I get out of this?”… “Oh, this would be really awesome”… wash… rinse… and repeat… But they did it pretty well until they couldn’t… and that my friends is called the end…

I got side tracked there… point is they attempted to build a world that was pretty interesting… they tried to build a place where all of these cool characters could come together… and they barely pulled it off… I wouldn’t say it was a complete waste of my time… afterwards maybe… only because I had the same thought the creator did right after seeing John Wick… “Hey, I can do that.”… but then laziness kicked in… said ah fuck it… and added my ideas to the ever-growing pile of shit I like to call my notes… 

Enough with the negatives… let’s get ankles deep in the positives about this film… The makeup on Jodie Foster was impressive… to the point where I was like there is no fucking way she is that old… turns out she isn’t… great job there… Sterling K. Brown did an amazing job… though a lot of this I feel was just his overall nature of being cool, calm, and a collected bad ass… he is also the main character and in an interesting twist one of the most informed characters about this world…

(For the non-writers… usually the main character has no idea what the fuck is going on… because they are you… the audience… there for we are experiencing this story together for the first time… learning, growing, and expanding our horizons beyond what we thought was or could be… “You mean to tell me I am a Wizard and that there is a whole Wizarding world I didn’t know existed?. Please tell me more.”… that’s at least a year’s worth of college… you’re welcome… Also yes, you are Harry Potter… and that is why if you actually read the books… you too have come to the conclusion that the movies suck… because they aren’t like you or the ways you imagined that world to be… and if you thought they were awesome?… stop lying to yourself… they were shit cash grabs…) 

Back to where I was… Brown does a great job… Not as great as he does on American Crime Story… but great none the less… Charlie Day also does a great job… only because for once he isn’t playing himself in a comedy role… rather he is playing himself in a “dramatic” one… this may sound like an insult… or that I am shitting on him in some way… but actually I am not… massive Charlie Day fan… would watch him in anything.. and I have… and I have enjoyed all of his performances… Always Sunny For Life… As far as everyone else… they were all interesting… they were all awesome… as someone who is really into movies and wasting their life on this crap… I always love when someone I recognize pops up… “Oh shit, they are in this”… comes up a lot when I watch movies and I love that… 

Overall Score

Hard fucking pass… another case of this trailer is awesome… what else is out there?… If you find this on Netflix… someone else paid for it… or you just got sick of burning your money and thought, “Hey, I don’t actually have to light it on fire all the time to have the same effect” … Then I say check it out… There are things to like… but not enough to love…

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I’m pretty sure anyone who was asking for a sequel to Marry Poppins is either dead or dying… what is this the 60’s?… This film is about five decades too late…

There are actually people out there who could use the money…and the help… Instead of blowing it on the making of this film… I’ve got a sequel for you… Mary Pippins Actually Helps Somebody… it’s a documentary… throw in some songs about scoring crack under a bridge called… This Medicine Don’t Go Down So Smooth… everybody has a great time… it’s a family film… a feel good film about how shitty the world is… we laugh… we cry… we wait five decades and see the actual impact of our kindness… I even have the tagline… “Who the fuck is Mary Poppins?”… it could be amazing… 

Been A Minute… Taking It For A Test Drive… Part 1…

(Preface) Forewarning… this might get weird… 

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Movie Review Time…

A couple of post ago… (I should insert the post link here… but I’m not sure which one it was… yeah I’m lazy…) I talked about a few up coming movies I wanted to see… well… fun fact I have seen some of them since then… I’m going to do my best to be civil and not a complete asshole… (I will end up being one of these)… with that said… this is what I know…

  1. I know that everyone who worked on these films gave it their all… every last blood sweat and tear… 
  2. I over explain every thing…
  3. This is all going to be opinion and shouldn’t stop you from seeing either one of these movies if you still want too… 

Actual Movie Review Time…

(Spoilers ahead)

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First up we have Bad Times At The El Royale… and what a fucking bad time it was… I was really looking forward to this movie… and maybe I hyped it up in my head… maybe I saw the cast list and thought… can’t fuck this up… well sadly I was so very wrong…

The movie spends a fuck ton of time building up this world in which it takes place… the real world… 1969 … but a world where all these characters come together at the El Royale… a once swinging place where the rich and famous once came to enjoy the best parts of an excessive life… sex… drugs… and the rat pack… the El Royale has fallen on bad times since then… no longer a place any respectable person should be seen checking out… 

The only redeeming part of this film is the cast and the characters they play… each one is fascinating in their own right… which for one character that we follow through a cringe worthy… suspense riddle… sadly played too well existence… was completely pointless and a giant negative to the over all film… the character that I am speaking of is an F.B.I. agent played by Jon Hamm… unless I blacked out at some point while watching this… (Totally possible… a lot of pacing issues…) I still have no idea why I needed to follow this character for longer than five minutes… or why I should even give a shit that he is sad about not seeing his son… or why he is even there at all… other than to die… yeah you are asked to invest an overall interest in this character and what the hell he is doing for no reason at all… other than he dies… even if you aren’t as soulless as me… pretty sure you’ll feel nothing when it happens too… 

And guess what?… that sums each and every character… all the way through the 141 minute run time… leaving you feeling hollow and confused by the end of this film… not because this film is so deep that you didn’t get something… but because there is nothing to get… that you wasted all this time… for nothing…

Sadly… there was so much that could have been loved in this film… the setting… the characters… the overall idea… it would have made one hell of a short film… or even a novel… could have expanded on a lot of things… things a novel would have given you time to digest… and set up an actual ending… not so much in a visual sense… because I wouldn’t sit through a longer version of this… I could easily see though loving this movie had they cut out some of the back story around theses characters… I might have been left wanting to know more about them… rather than being left wondering why I ever cared about any of them in the first place… or why this man has to look so damn good all the time… 

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Final Grade

A waste of fucking time… watch the trailer… and wonder what could have been…

 

 

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Part 2 hopefully coming tomorrow… where I shit on a whole other movie… look forward to that… If you are into TV series and have access to Netflix… Happy! is worth checking out… much better than the comic… unfair though considering the comic series was only four issues… shows great… you should check it out… 

In other actual exciting news… this is my 300th post… which is pretty crazy… didn’t think I would even get to 10… and here I am… I want to thank every one of you for reading… I know things have been sporadic and weird the last few months… wish I could say that the next few won’t be… but honestly were is the fun in that?… crazy train keeps on rolling… and I thank you none the less… 

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Beacasue… I Don’t Want To Know… For Fun…

 

 

 

 

 

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All mixed up… but please… did you really expect anything else?... out of these which is your favorite?… no judgement… (Shh.. Dirt Room… please come on… you know me better by now…)

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Nothing Ever Changes…. Growing Old At The Thought…

Defying death the thing I’ve become
Say a prayer for all that you know
Silence falls on your prayer
Beyond my control
Beyond my understanding
Only human, you know what I know
Murder, fucking death
Respond  to the sins I understand
Look to the past, words
Existence I’ve failed to understand

Education was always the plan
Lost on the insecure, lost on the damned
How fucking big is your ass?

Education was always meant to sustain
A plan no one understands
Ignorance sown within our souls
Fuck your thoughts, bull shit plans
Mob rule, mob mentality
I’m owed mine, I’m owed yours
Selfish fuck that I’ve always claimed to be
The reality only a thing
Laughing at your pain
Because the realization is all too late
Sucking on the tail pipe
Slashing away, jerking off to the thought
That all of this makes no sense

Bury me with it
Bury me with all that I know
Lies, words, Santa Clause was real
Until it wasn’t 
Your parents were assholes
Honest, but still
Fucked since the word go
Hug them, love them, tried their best
Wrong, only human
I’m them, I never wanted to
Suffocating through what I know

Could blame them but know that I am them
Love them more than before
What you should know
We are all trying to hold on
Embrace them, don’t shun them
Why are we here?
Don’t ask them, suffering together
Sad fucking realization
Thank them, not me, for fucking trying

Santa Clause is real, god, everything they thought
Lost in all of this, a life I’m not willing to admit
Smashing my skull against a wall
Killing myself for everything they thought
An epic about nothing at all

Embrace everything you thought
Not special at all
The vision not what we thought
Same as we were anyway
All I was trying to say
Love them all the same

 

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Our parents are all they could be… our parents our us… fight it… believe I am wrong… but know… your parents fuck… your parents have thoughts… your parents are us after all… eww I know… gross… shake off the thought… but know you aren’t a freak… wonder if they feel like you?…  they do… no other reason… than they are human… This whole thing is a shit show… welcome to the stage… smile… let’s move the fuck on… need advice?… ask those around you… it will be awkward… believe me when I say that’s what it means to be an adult… believe me when I say they feel the same…

Shhh… you wanted the secret… well the secret was fucking lame… : )… not trying to be a dick… just saying… not trying to make you throw up… but let’s be honest… your parents have always felt the same… mind-blowing… fucking crazy… hug them all the same… because they did this… dealt with this all… long before you could ever think… fucking heroes… martyrs to the cause of it all… good or bad… they tried their fucking best… what else could you ever ask of them after all?… that’s love… Think about it… come back to me… when you understand… been there for years… just sinking in… Not original… only a copy… excuse me as I throw up at the thought… only human after all… haha… never been better than you… Never been better than the heroes I’ve loved… only human… hard at the thought… embrace my part… embrace who I am after all… why the fuck do you listen to me at all?… 

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Thoughts… comments…. leave them because all of this is fucking insane… just want to get better… don’t care about words like fame… money… I just want to sustain… so if that means negativity… if that means pain…  only want to get better… only want a reason to live… don’t care how lame… this is all I got out side of family… going to try whether or not you feel the same… all I ever wanted was to find people who feel the same… people to make me better… been a selfish ass… before I knew your name… hate me… I love you all the same… I love you for fucking being you… thank you… let the lead out… hurt no one but Know I Can Take It… maybe My Only Purpose… : )  

 

“I See The Game… And It Sees Me”…

Desperately Trying To Hold On, For You

Thought about the thoughts
That make us human after all
Thought about the thoughts
That don’t matter at all
Thought maybe then I thought
About it all
All these thoughts I thought
As I waited for the fall

We tell ourselves it matters
We push for results
But in the end as we wait for it all
Nothing made sense
Nothing was all it was
What we think holds value
Holds nothing at all

So I thought about the thoughts
That makes us human after all
I thought about the thoughts
That don’t matter after all
Draw my conclusions
What I found was
Fuck it all

 

Letting Me Go Is Easier Than You Think

How much am I willing to take
What is sober if not a feeling
What is gone if not how I’ve felt all along
I say one thing, believe another in my head
Sure I’m a liar, believe me when I say I’m dead
Never cared and now they say I should
Exploring the darkness that hides inside us all
Some people want to run
But I can’t help to call it home
Could say it doesn’t matter, been wrong all along
How long am I willing to wait
A fear carried over time
Dead weight inside my chest
I’ve been forced to call my heart
Who knows anything if no one knows a thing
You tell me to not do it
But what do you know about me
How it feels, what it thinks
Studying the madness has only driven me more insane
Life is a cycle
This is only the pain

 

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The next generation is so fucked… everything is right now… I need it now… is dinner ready?… no… it takes fucking time… spoiled and they don’t even know why… time is moving so fast… have you figured out yet what you want to be?… left behind… we do this to ourselves and ask why… human reasoning… kiss it all good bye… we need time to step back… say okay… this is the direction we need to go… not enough time… maybe we have always been this way… maybe it is something new… but in the end… what the fuck is going on?… 

 

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It’s Been A Long Time Since I’ve Known…

Reflection Of What I See… Ode To The Soul

Dancing around the issue
Dodging how I truly feel
Because I have no answer
Nothing else to do
Second guessing my very existence
Why, why am I here
Why, why even bother going on
Lost soul, trapped mind
How could I ever be the only one to think like this

First world fucking guilt is killing me
If I ever had to work, kill myself over try
Born into this, fucked since the first fit
No one planned this out
A fucking tortured soul
If there is a god? Fuck off already

If Jesus ever cared
Killed me off long ago
Trapped with this feeling inside my head
Shipped off, told I’m normal
Hopefully I don’t kill off everyone
Just myself… right to choose
A freedom of choice

Crying for help is a weak way to go
What kind of shit show are we running here
Only care when it is too late
Everyone has to feel like me
Fuck your empathy because you’ve had none
Since the beginning

Live or die
Never mattered anyway
The way it should be
What society has taught me

 

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In the words of Mintly… “It’s dark. Really dark.”…. that it is… that is how it feels… no one likes to have their shit smeared in their faces… well maybe some do… nothing wrong with that if that is what you are into… but even you have to know that most people aren’t into that… we pretend like we care… until it happens to us… then we really give a shit…

It doesn’t have to be about gun violence… mental health… it can be as simple as the choices we make… not everyone feels like you… positive and negative… there is a point of respecting others that we have to get along… there is a point where we have to respect other people’s choices… I have two topics I want to talk about… not sure where or which way I should go… either one is too long and too important to talk about both… torn?… a little bit… I never want to tell you how to think… or that you have to think like me to get along… what kind of mindless society would that be?… isn’t that the point of all of this… hear what others have to say and decided for yourself?…

Like I said you don’t have to agree… you can be mad at me… I’ve never been right… never been wrong… I am how I am… you are how you are… respect is more than just a word… same as religion… same as choice… believe me when I say words mattered… and believe me when I say they don’t… thoughts come and go… ideas come up that sound great on paper… then you put them in place… well they are shit… time travel comes to mind… another time I will explain that shit show of a decision… not the time or place right now…  

There is some shit going down here in the states… some shit that is more than likely to come up…  care or not care… won’t change a thing… the issue is more important than the crime… the reason… the fucking why… currently we already have fucked up abortion laws… a vague definition of woman’s rights… personally… if it comes down to me… I am against it… a life is a life… but in reality… in the real fucking world… it isn’t happening to me… it will never truly 100% happen to me… and that’s when I have to step back… That’s when I have to take this shit off paper and understand what is really at stake…  Just because something is legal… doesn’t mean you have to get it… 

I don’t preach shit to anyone… but I do say one thing constantly… I’m all for anything that doesn’t hurt someone else… I respect that abortion goes very much against that belief… but it really doesn’t… laws are meant to protect us… us that are here… Life is life… but no one should tell you how to live yours… in truth… before God… before mankind… a woman’s right to choose is her right… because if it was up to me… I’d want the choice… this topic is rooted in so many things… You can throw religion in my face… it says right here that… yeah it says a lot of things we ignore… and that is just it… God… Devil… who the fuck ever… judges us based on our choices… 

To me that is religion… that is life… our choices… God or no god…  I’d hope that you’d make the right one for you… but I’m not you… and no one else is… it is no ones business what you choose… that’s your right… that is the way it should be… as far as God… and what she thinks… well… that’s up to her too… right… wrong… the whole shitty situation happens… and it comes down to a choice… everyone deserves the right to make that choice… even if it isn’t the one they would choose…