Damn My Foolish Eyes… Something Different…

All the Same

A corpse on life support
Wasted and on last resort
Feeding time is here to stay
Feed the soul, stay away
Man versus Machine
All the same
We gave away our souls
First time we were paid
Existence, existing time and place
Fearful means all the same
Explain to me what to say
My words always get in the way
How I feel
What you mean
Doesn’t mean anything in the scheme of things
When they are all the same
Lesson learned one glass at a time
Driven into the ground

Personification of a Dying Art

Tearing at the fabric of my very being
Only have something to say as I fall asleep
Convenient
If there was such a thing as sin
I think that I would live it
Only if it was clearly stated by design
Inflicted
Too many demons locked away in my skeleton
A puppet meant to say something
Strings too tight, cut me free
Convoluted
If there is such a thing as less complicated
I haven’t found it
If only it was clearly defined by existence
Incorporated
Licensed to fuck this up by design
Unqualified but what really are the qualifications
To set the world on fire
No one asked me to save them
So I heed the call and do all that I can
They wanted a martyr but all they got was me

Found some more old poetry that didn’t fit in to my recent collection… still working on everything… always trying to work on something… hope all is well…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

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Huffing Glass 101… Something Different…

I’m not qualified to teach anyone anything… to be fair though this isn’t really me teaching anything… honestly this just seemed like a fun idea… I have done it in the past… kind of… so I thought I would give it a try again in a more formal setting… this won’t become a set thing… because again I am not qualified at all… but I thought it could be fun to learn a little bit about the process… Welcome to Huffing Glass 101… today’s lesson will be about Broken Thoughts… where they come from… how it works… and why it doesn’t… lets talk about writing…

Huffing Glass 101

The first part of the process is pretty basic… write some shit down… have some thoughts kicking around in your head… nothing special about this first part… for me though… a thought can be either a poem… a story… or in this case a Broken Thought…

Broken Thoughts was born out of necessity… based on time and place… I tend to have a lot of thoughts kicking in my head during work… right before… on the drive too and from… sitting around… I’m a thinker… I can’t shut the shit off… even when I want too or need too… nothing special about that either… often I find myself with only a few minutes here or there to write something down…

Before I started using my cellphone to capture these moments… I was all about pen and paper… I had a lot less poems in my bag of tricks then… because well… looking for a pen or a piece of paper when you are stocking shelves is rather difficult… also your pockets can only hold so much cardboard before you start to make everything real awkward… people ask a lot of questions when you have pockets full of cardboard and zero intentions of throwing them away… Switching to using my phone has really saved me a lot of time… effort… and overall comfort in my pants… that sounds weird…

But what to do with these tiny moments… sentences that fly by so quick that I barely have enough time to remember where or how they came to me… you could save them… gather them together… and do something with them later… if you are like me though… my writing is a time and place type of process… I often can’t expand on something if the moment has passed… it is no longer raw… and I don’t look at it the same… so my process is an all or nothing approach to writing… it leaves me with a lot of thoughts all broken up… pages upon pages…

Which leads us to how it works for me… I started this website three years ago… I started off with poems… stories… you probably already know this… well I ran out pretty quick… had a lot of cardboard laying around though… not all of it good… great… or in some case anything I am willing to share… Broken Thoughts was born out of again… necessity… after a while I found that I enjoyed it more than just doing poems… or writing out a story… there is something to the basics of it…

I don’t want to compare my Broken Thoughts to a haiku… because they are not anywhere close to the art of such things… but they are very similar in theory and idea… I don’t have any actual rules to my Broken Thoughts… I don’t have any set out intentions of writing any either… I try to just get the thought out… each and everyone of them so I don’t forget…

Sometimes a Broken Thought becomes a poem… or even a story… sometimes it just is what it is… I try not to shy away from anything… because we never know what it will become… losing track here… so I gather them all together… separate them by months… and then move on…

That’s where the website comes in… I print out my Broken Thoughts… come up with a title for the heading… and then I start the dig… as I stated before… I can’t seem to remember or grasp the same head space as before… so the website helps me rewrite them because as I do… I think of new lines… fix old ones… basically I edit until I actually have something… this sometimes changes the point… outcome… or thought all together… here is an example…

Original Thought

Destroying everything was never difficult
Cutting out pieces of me
Every goddamn day
How much of me is even left
Repetition is the key
Replaying these thoughts in my head
Scream them enough and they
Will become true
Enjoy the logic but the theory
Is too goddamn much
Dragging my soul through each day
Swinging at an invisible enemy
Drowning myself with nothing to gain

(Perfectly fine Broken Thought…)

Rewritten Broken Thought

Destroying everything was never difficult
Cutting out pieces of me
Every goddamn day
How much of me is even left
Repetition is the key
Repetition is all I need (new line)
Replaying these thoughts in my head
Scream them enough and they in silence
They will become true
Enjoy the logic but the theory
Is too goddamn much
For one soul to take (new line)
Dragging my soul self through each day
Swinging at an invisible enemy
Drowning myself with nothing to gain
Fucking hero and villain
No longer see the difference

This one ended up being longer… sometimes they are this long and then I cut them down to a whole lot less… this one could have even been a poem if I thought of more lines… but I wasn’t feeling any more lines.. it is a feeling thing for me… I think that is how I am able to separate the dark thoughts from my life… the “darkness”… depression… doesn’t last forever… it comes in waves… so I’m not always down in it…

Which leads to why it doesn’t work… I’m not always depressed… it comes and goes… so sometimes when I am editing… working with… Broken Thoughts… even I am thinking God damn… but that is where the fiction and the truth of my thoughts rub against each other… I thought it at one point… I felt it at some point… but do I feel it now?… maybe… that can be frustrating because instead of having a poem… I have four lines… that I can’t get in the head space of…

The process also doesn’t work because… I have often have a lot of the same lines floating around… the same themes… so I have days of the same concepts written out… I try to condense them to one single post… or spread them out during a cycle… some I have to save for another time… or the books… because I don’t want to dwell on the same things all damn day… nothing special there either…

That’s the process from thought… to cardboard… to the website… and every where in between… if you take anything from this… it would repetition is key… don’t throw anything away… look at it again at another day… and remember nothing worth anything doesn’t come without work… even the most simplest things… come with a lot of steps to get there… keep your head high and follow your dreams… you will get somewhere someday… just remember to enjoy the journey…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

Next month we will take a look at how I pull my head out of my own ass… just kidding it never leaves… we might do something on titles… stories… or who the hell knows…

New Stories… Never Before Seen…
New Thoughts… Not Enjoyed…
New Poems… Well to Read…
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Felt Right For The Time…

Looking Back Something I Miss…

For those of you who don’t know… now you do… DEVO…

Cannot get enough of this song… amazing video to go with it… perfect…

Haunting… Reznor… Lynch… Enough said…

That opening riff… is all anyone needs… but wait there’s more… #blessed…

So if you ever wondered… that is what I listen too when I write… just those four songs over and over again… haha… actually I listen to a lot of music… maybe I’ll bring this feature back… but for now… it felt right for the time…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

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