Chewing On Glass…

Stuck between the pages writing on the edge
I fucking hate it… Doing my part though
Conserving resources for another generation
That will give as much of a shit
As the last one… From bleak to dark
Might as well forget everything we’ve ever said
Wasn’t an answer to a question no one asked
But a death sentence to a thought that has gone by
Community of love and general hope lost in space
Spinning out of control… Never felt more at home

Let’s repeat it a couple more times and see if I still don’t know…

I don’t get obsessed like I should
Shadow Jesus doesn’t want me to succeed
A curse I’ve found within myself
Need to embrace what I am to me
Nothing special… Can’t shut him up
Long enough to receive the point
Shadow Jesus isn’t here to help me be better
Strangling out the thoughts that don’t matter
I don’t get obsessed like I should
Like I need to… Like I used to…
Embracing for an impact… That will never come…
Was never special enough to be a threat
Not that that anyone noticed as they judged
Me standing there waiting for my turn
I haven’t given up I just can’t be you from day to day

Because sometimes you just need a body to stand completely still… You’ll understand when you are older…

We can always go lower
It sinks in the need to
Push ourselves beyond our limits
Punish ourselves to not exist
Good enough for now isn’t good enough
There always has to be more
With our devotion we will kill it
Corrupt it… the it of our desires
We can always go lower
It sinks in the truth to
Our ability to seek beyond our needs
Our ability to hurt ourselves for existing
Not everything you say
Makes much sense to me
It is almost as though
You aren’t saying anything
Couldn’t agree any less
Searching my soul for the answer
I already know to be true
My age doesn’t define me
Just a reminder how much further I have to go

Going to keep this short… Afraid the sickness has finally come for me… had a pretty good run this year… but my luck has run out… Luckily it isn’t 1843… for a lot of reasons… so I should make it through what I got… If not… Hope all is well…