Chewing On Glass…

Selfishly wondering if you’ll ever notice
What it is that I have built for myself
With my hands, my body, my soul, and your sacrifice
I know I could conquer a world that doesn’t even know
With my hands… my body… my soul…
I know selfishly I could take control
I know because I believe in myself more than you
Pawns to an existence that I don’t even want
Always been so much better than you
Always been one step ahead of a curve
I’ve created in this world inside my head
I know because I’ve said so enough times before
Selfishly wondering if you’ve taken the time to notice
What it is that I have built for myself
With my hands and no one else
I know because you don’t
With my hands… my soul… my body…
I know selfishly I am in control
I know because I know
Ignore your cries long enough the noise
Becomes not even a sound at all
Always been so much more than I let on
Always been ahead of whatever stupid game we play
I’ve always known because I said so
I know… trust me… I know it all

It smells like bleach
A taste so unsweet
Burning my tongue and eyes
It smells like death
A feeling so unreal
Bringing everything together
Alone at my own funeral
No one else bothered to show
Some say I chased them all away
I think I just ran out of things to say
My mouth sewn up and heart on fire
Didn’t think I’d ever make this far
Watching flower pedals hit the ground

Taking notes to look over later
The leaves are falling… burying me
Had so many ideas of what this could be
A structured reality of me just being me
Wasn’t quite sure this would add up to anything
A slipping of reality… space lost in between
There is an emptiness there that doesn’t know
What I mean
It’s hotter in hell the days they get warmer
The longer you stare the more it makes this hurt
No longer a longing a punishment made of sin
You won’t say anything so I don’t know where to begin
Lost ideas scattered across time
Broken thoughts that take over our lives
If it meant anything I know you’d never say
Constantly waiting… sitting and staring
At stitched together concepts