Chewing On Glass…

The silence is lonely and the nothing so lovely
Who am I kidding by breathing?
Wasn’t cut out to be anything other than
What I have become over time
There isn’t enough that I give you credit for
My depression doesn’t leave much room for admiration
Fill the void with excuses… made up reasons
To keep myself going along this disjointed path
Beating myself against the ground
Told myself that any of this meant something
A dying existence to a never ending sacrifice
Words to keep the blood pumping under the skin
Something to keep this failure living

In an instant things can change… from good to bad to the same…

“I think everything I’m write is coming true.”
“Okay. So, stop writing then.”
“It’s not that easy. I’ve already wrote a lot of stuff.”
“You wrote more? Delete it. Delete it now. Burn it. Burn it all.”
“I can’t. I’ve worked so hard to get here.”
“If what you are saying is true I don’t think you have a choice.”
“It isn’t that easy.
“Isn’t that easy are you kidding me? There’s a seven-foot house cat chasing us through the woods. An hour ago, a witches coven tried to convert us into crystals. I think the world would be a better place if you just stopped. This is all starting to make more sense.”
“They weren’t trying to convert us into crystals.”
“Do you hear yourself?”
“I’m just saying they were trying to sell us crystals. They run an online business.”
“Thanks for clearing that up and avoiding my point.”

I’d like to think that a God has faith in their creation… But you believe what you’d like…

Screaming in my head
Can’t seem to focus
On anything it has to say
The blood flows from a source unknown
Another aneurysm breaking in my throat
Another broken bone against the concrete
Violence solves nothing… only creates
Don’t know where this rage takes shape
Somewhere from within… pressed upon
Molded and bent into place
They say it takes an army… only took myself
To destroy what wasn’t there
Led by the screaming voice in my head
Can’t seem to focus on any of the shit you’ve said
The blood flows drowning me in it’s sin
Don’t want to admit… this is how I’ve always been
Violence solves nothing… only creates pain
Acting like I give a shit
Words to breed upon in this never ending therapy session
Constantly screaming for no good reason
If I knew why don’t think it would make a difference
Faith in nothing… let alone a singular god
Disappointment is another word for sin
Passively screaming at the passing people
Can’t seem to focus on why this should mean anything
With nothing left to lose why should this mean something
I’d suffocate it if it meant it would go away
Self sacrifice for the greater good… another excuse
Violence solves nothing… only creates more pain