Chewing On Glass…

This can’t be how it is
Not like before
Because that is how it always is
Running in circles
Spiders spinning webs across the skin
Trying to figure out where to begin
The world doesn’t owe me
And you never owned me
Still stuck here and I can’t let go
With you and of myself
Locked away by a hidden key
Doesn’t make much sense
No one ever said that it was going to
No one ever said much of anything
Not when they are just going to let go
This can’t be how it is
Because that is how it always is

Locked away in my own glass cage… Self-pity is not malignant…

Dragging myself under with a slow pull
Going deeper wasn’t really for me
Stacking up the evidence against myself
A lot of people really shouldn’t pry
When they couldn’t give what it takes
Mediocre…
Screaming into space with a slow echo
Endlessly disappearing isn’t for me
Building up the evidence against myself
Need the attention more than I’d admit
Narcissistic…
Dragging myself under with a slow pull
Going away wasn’t meant for me
Providing the evidence against myself
Couldn’t give up on what it takes
Immortal…
Between the space a slow escape
Needlessly disappearing isn’t for me
An endless craving I won’t admit
A Mediocre Narcissist…
Trapped between the evidence and the words
I’ll burn this world down before I give up
This immortal struggle found in me

I was feeling pretty inspired… but then somehow I lost my notes on how that feels… It doesn’t take much to misdirect me these days… Thoughts disappearing as I try to write them down mentally at seventy miles an hour… Time is slipping through my head and hands… Still not dead…

Read an article about how this generation… pick one… doesn’t understand how ellipsis work… and I’m starting to question if I ever knew what they were meant for either… Kind of a problem…

Been working on a short story for the past few weeks… Still don’t have an ending… It is about a city that doesn’t exist… it is about confusion… about drifting through space and time… Every time I think I get to a satisfying conclusion… I think of something more to say… My short story is slowly working its way to a novella… I’m starting to think that it is more about myself currently than I’m willing to admit…

It is hot here in hell… Nothing shocking about that… It doesn’t change much around here… Hope all is well…