Chewing On Glass…

Stole all my best lines
From a source I can’t remember
Stole them from myself
Gave them all away just the same
Nothing worthy of repeating
A silent sound describing
How does it make you feel?
An overbearing insulting meaning
How does it make sense?
It doesn’t so let me begin again
From the end here it goes…

Like the devil once said… people don’t bother to read…
Not much I can do about that…

I don’t know…
What I’m doing
Here with this
What’s in my head
I don’t know…
Drown with the words
Hopes and dreams
I don’t know…
What I mean
By any of this
What I feel
I don’t know…
If any of this
Means anything
I don’t know…
What I’d doing
What’s in my head
I just don’t know anymore…

It’s hard to take pride in your job…
When everyone keeps shitting on it…

Don’t think it means much
My ideas… what they mean
Sadness sinking in
Deeper than any razorblade
Want to be left alone
Not be here with the rest
Sitting around with plenty to do
Couldn’t escape this growing
Feeling inside my head
That nothing I’ve ever done
Was really worth it in the end

The deadline for any of this was back in March… Here’s what I know about me and deadlines… They don’t mean all that much to me… Something about having a reason takes a hold… and I just let it all go… This has been a bit of an issue since I was in school… The feeling… not the deadline thing… They used to be pretty serious about that whole debacle… Still not really sure why…

It all seemed important at the time… when that’s all you had to do was turn something in… I’m sure there was some kind of lesson wrapped in some bull shit little bow… Then again I’m not really too sure about much of anything… Here’s what I know about nothing… The more you think about it the worse it truly gets… Probably what I miss the most about alcohol… A nice glass of whiskey could wash all that concern right away… Like it wasn’t even there…

Right along with all my other thoughts and concerns about deadlines… It is always still there a little bit… Here’s what I know about commitments… they don’t go away until you let them… and by then it is all you ever wanted to begin with… Thrill of the hunt I suppose… Wouldn’t know… my weapons have been broken and bent for some time now…

Hope all is well…