Chewing On Glass…

Fading deeper into a memory
There’s more talent than substance
Holding myself by the throat
Pushing deeper against an invisible blade
I’ll never be goo enough to be anything
Fading into the pain that’s in my head
There’s more talent than there is substance
Holding myself down with my own thoughts
Pushing my narrative deeper into my skin
I know what I’m feeling isn’t real
Yet I can’t prove what it is that I feel
Fading back into a memory
There’s so much more here than I lead on
Holding myself against the flame of my desires
Pushing deeper to know that I’m still here
None of this is ever going to be enough
To full fill these undying needs in me
Fading into a pain that isn’t there
There’s more to this than what’s in my head
There’s more talent than substance
When it comes to hating myself as much as I do

Within arm’s length and closer than I’d like…

This razor blade edge is running thin
Cuts the life right out of me
The rivers don’t last as they’re swept out to sea
The ocean it consumes until it’s all gone
Crashing its waves against an unforgiving land
And where does any of that leave me in this?
Where do I end and my universe begin?

I don’t think and I wish that would change…

Somehow this is meant to mean something
Breaking down, getting back up, living
None of it really means much of anything
Falling apart, pushing through, dying
Somehow surviving these feelings in my head
Are meant to mean something to me
The rest of you, anyone at all, survivors
None of it really means much of anything
To anyone, everyone, myself
Just another day living in my head
Isolated, alone, surrounded by it all
Somehow this is meant to mean something
More than whatever it is that I’m seeing
It all seems pretty useless to me
To have to feel like this for it to mean something

This was way harder to write than it really needed to be… considering that I wrote all of this months ago… and it was a simple pick a few thoughts and edit out what doesn’t work assignment…

In the process of such a simple equation… I managed to waste the better part of an hour on a thought that isn’t even here… reworked another thought into a poem… and thought of nothing else to say…

Let that be a lesson… there is no such thing as easy…

Hope all is well…