Chewing On Glass…

More people give up than succeed
Doesn’t make it any easier to proceed
Maybe when I’m older, maybe when I’m dead
Something to look forward to I guess
Not sure what I want out of any of this
A life spent wondering what if
Doesn’t make much sense outside of the rest of it
This struggle is real even if no one is there
This isn’t an act even if no one knows
Life just keeps moving on inside my head

Not feeling being in here tonight…

It doesn’t take long and then it sinks in
A daily exercise in self-destruction
It wasn’t like I was going to hurt myself
Frustrated for no reason at all at 3 in the morning
I don’t like to use numbers, but I’m running out of space
Six months in and I still feel like shit
There’s only so many times we can dream
About killing ourselves before reality sinks in
Can’t seem to focus and it isn’t working
Another night wanting to destroy something beautiful
The pages keep turning over and saying the same things
The words aren’t erasing and the scars remain the same
I’m really trying to do better but it still hurts
When I think about you

Wasn’t so sure I’d make it this far…

Nothing last forever or so they say
Nothing lasts for an eternity but
They pray all the same anyway
Is it really that hard to believe
That trying too hard doesn’t lead to anything
Digging a hole with a shovel made of words
It’s called a grave, but we pretend it’s something else
A home away from home… still right here
Woke up today feeling like shit
Maybe it was yesterday… can’t remember
Days have been blending together lately
Nothing lasts forever or so they say
Nothing stretches for an eternity but
We still try to pray it away anyway
Is it really so hard to believe
That overthinking the situation
Doesn’t lead anything?

Progress report… prognosis negative… Better buckle up then… there’s no reason anyone should be flying through windshields these days… Not that my head doesn’t feel like it has been rocked against the steering wheel more than once… Life doesn’t come with air bags… and it turns out it wasn’t even an option…

My nails are growing long and it is bothering me… Haven’t started to piss in jars yet… so… that’s a plus… Stuck in this room long enough though… I can’t say I am above the concept of it… My biggest issue with the whole thing is that I don’t collect jars… Some might see that as an obstacle… but those people haven’t taken a look outside recently…

If they had… they’d understand that everything is an obstacle to a certain degree… There’s more problems than an old man can shake a fist at… and nothing has changed… Literally… not figuratively… and this isn’t even the little voice inside my head saying this shit… The tin foil suppresses the radio signals and shuts him up for the most part… Unless I’m hungry…

No one’s developed a tin foil strong enough to eliminate those thoughts completely… That kind of superpower takes a certain type of will power I don’t seem to possess… I’ve heard it said more than once lately… that we should kill our masters… In theory I get what they mean… but if we do that… who’s going to be in charge?… It is too complicated if I’m being honest…

A much easier solution is that we get rid of these crisis actors we label news anchors… I’m not proposing we kill them… that would be silly and unjust… say what you want… but we are all trying to get paid out here… What I am saying is that we move them to the correct category of what they are… entertainment…

Lord knows I don’t need the competition… Hard enough as it is to fight for screen time and brain space to sit through my rants… At least I’m not trying to make people perform mental gymnastics to separate the facts from fiction… When it comes to the weather… Is it or is it not going to rain Bob?… What are we sitting through these drugs commercials for if you don’t know?…

I’m not saying I have the final solution… but at least we all could start feeling better… As a nation… as a world… as people just trying to live our damn lives… If we could just cut through the bull shit from time to time… Present the facts as they are and not how you might think they may be…

Opinions are like assholes… and for some reason god blessed us all with more than one… but god damn… maybe dead air isn’t the worst thing that could come out of your mouth today…

Hope all is well…