Chewing On Glass…

Running out of time… halfway there
Wasn’t sure there was a difference
Know now this is always changing
Motivation isn’t the same as before
Halfway dead… what’s the point?
Want to push myself harder
But why? What for?
There’s always something more
Distracting me from a goal
I can no longer define simply by the words
Thought the point was to just be here
That isn’t anymore true than the opposite
Nothing is enough when the time slips away
Halfway there what’s the reason anymore?
Wanted to have so much more done
But why? What for?
There’s always something else
Pulling me away from where I need to be
Running around on borrowed time
Wasn’t sure that meant anything
Know now this is all it ever was
A gift meant to be given away

It wasn’t that I was bored… there just wasn’t anything else to do…

No one is sure of what I’m saying
Words taking on a life of their own
Waiting in the shadows
For someone to understand
It was always about love and selfishness
About a soul dying for either one
No one is sure of what I mean
A never ending list of things left undone
Sitting in the shadows
For someone to realize
It was always about greed and laziness
About a soul dying because of either one
No one is sure of what I’m trying to say
And no one ever will living in the shadows
It was always about something else
Then whatever I said it was

Unfortunately… I can’t crawl out of my own skin…

My excuses for how I feel aren’t
Making me feel any better
Avoiding the work isn’t making
Anything better than it was
Pressure pushing against the skin
From the inside and I can’t stop
Tearing myself apart from within
When was it that any of this
Was meant to get any better than this
My reasoning for how I feel isn’t
Making me feel any better
Avoiding the words isn’t making
Anything better than it was
Pressure building against the skin
From deep within and I can’t stop
Destroying myself again and again
When was it that any of this
Was meant to be better than it was?

A light flickers in the distance… I really am starting this with so little to say… Some days it is like I have too much to say… Other days… a silence that swallows me like an ocean… Been thinking about doing more lately… Something different… if you will… I think it has been long enough…

A light flickers in the distance… could it be hope… or only more of the same?… There is something digging… scratching in me… I wish I had more to say… Think that is enough for today… Hope all is well… and the world hasn’t drove you insane… Left… Right… Left… and you’ll be just fine…