Chewing On Glass…

There isn’t enough time to do
All the things I think I want to
Only meant to be average at best
Seems I can’t even achieve that
Worthless even in my own head
Did the best I thought I could
Wasn’t enough to push me along
It’s not like it got me any further
Closer to a peace that isn’t there
Still the same tortured person inside
Uncomfortable in my own skin or yours
It wasn’t as though the outcome was
Meant to be any different than it is
Write it out of order and still the same
Did the best I thought I could
Wasn’t enough and somehow I already
Knew that was the way it was meant to be

Writing things down for a better time…

I need a better distraction
Then what I have building in me
Selfishness is a disease
I couldn’t get rid of
I need a better distraction
Then what’s building in my head
The anger isn’t changing anything
Rearranging the thoughts with no solution
A better distraction can’t be found in me
My selfish anger about who I should be
Distracts from who I think I am inside
How am I to find a solution in this?…

Why haven’t I gone back to sleep yet?… oh yeah… still have to live…

The days go by
They disappear inside
The days they go by
Without a warning
Time spent I wish I had back
Growing old is dying
Living is dying
We’re all dying and pretending
That everything is fine
Because the days go by
And we try as we might
But the days they go by
Without a sound or a clue
As to why…

Swung for the fences… now I’m trying too hard again to be myself more than I wanted… Heard someone say once that the world was on fire… Never heard anyone say don’t worry I got it… It is as though… People care without carrying… People don’t care by caring…

Backwards maybe… truthful in a sense… Giving up and walking away… isn’t as easy as they pretend it is… Try it sometime… if you are so sure you know what waits for you… A new job… A new place… A new life… If it hurts where you are… could it really hurt any more where you’re not?… Maybe… won’t know unless you try…

Trying… isn’t a reason to die… Not like they make it out to be… A better question is… Who are these they?… Is it you… Is it me… Always they… but never either one of us… Strange… Normal… Who’s to say… If you are asking me… I say if you’re not hurting anyone… Who cares?… Why should I care?…

Wear your panties on your head and call it a mask… Shave half your face and pretend you’re two people today… So… you think that you might be a little weird… Here’s a clue… Who doesn’t?… We care so much about who we are supposed to be… that we lose sight of who we really are…

I guess what I am trying to say is this… I’m too tired of dying on this vine today… To forget that I don’t give a shit about tomorrow… And as much as I want to say it is… This isn’t any way to live either… Or in other words… So much for tomorrow at least there’s still today…