Chewing On Glass…

Scraping the rust off it hurts at first
Like being burned slowly for no reason
A persistent need to keep moving forward
Despite the weather of all this pain
The rain keeps falling moving like time
It passes us by until nothings left except dust
Scattered thoughts isn’t a complete notion
Something else is consuming my ideas
Never was any sort of plan I could finish
Feel like I’m drifting further way from the point
Today… now… doesn’t feel any different
Than all the passing moment from before
Somehow I survived then and all I have to do
Is figure out how to do it all over again

It is bigger inside than it is outside… a bloody fist wrapped in shit…

There’s a space in me I can’t seem to replace
An emptiness that won’t go away
Inspiration slipping through dry fingers
What I want not the same as before
A constant reminder of something more
Choking on things I once loved
Feel as though I’m starving surrounded by food
The air taste like poison and the smell like heaven
A dying corpse of something that used to matter
This isn’t the end, but how am I to tell the difference
Running my fingers along a rusted spinal cord
Something new is growing inside of me
Something heavier than darkness and lighter than air
I was told it was my soul, but I’m starting to believe
It is something completely different… something real

If I thought it mattered… Why would I waste time telling you?…

Floating direction less through life
Drifting into another super nova of pain
Ripping skin from bone to explore deeper
Left on display for all to see
A puzzle box with no solution
The tragic existence continues with little else
Dead body moving across the floor
Invisible chains clinging to the mess that is left
I’ve become less than my worst fears
I’ve become none of the things I thought I’d be
Resting on bended knees like those around me

Full disclosure… that last one is based on a book… more of a novella… If that is not enough of a hint… It was also turned into a movie… then expanded on with even more films that seem like they will never end… Not really a complaint… I’ve enjoyed most of them…

More the main character than the movies themselves… Even in the book… where the character is less interesting then in the films… Moving on… Trying to decide what I want to do… Either watch a movie… or play video games… Neither is anything I should even be thinking about doing… But I can’t really think of anything else to do…

Not nearly as exciting as I had planned it to be… Probably because I had no plan to begin with… I believe it is best to always have a plan… Though in order for a plan to work… You have to follow through with it… Easier said than done… I suppose…