Chewing On Glass…

It only ends the way that I thought it would
Gave it another shot and it wasn’t enough
So do I give up again or keep going on
Sailing in the dark… the long nights
Only feel longer the longer I go on
It will all be over before I know it
But I know it and the longer it goes on
This unfading feeling in me some call desire
No one is willing to watch anyone fail
But they don’t have the time to help either
Not sure what it is that I’m supposed to do
The further I drift into the night
The more I know I’m more alone in here
Than I thought I was used to
No one wants to admit that I’ve already died
But they don’t have a problem reminding me
Not sure what it is that I was to do
Push forward or burn the ship at sea
It only ends the way I thought it would
Silently and all alone…

“I’m not sure what there is to live for. If depression couldn’t kill this dark desire in me to keep going. Then what chance do I have against an unstoppable force I can’t find the source of? If I try any harder someone might think I want to be here and what would have been the point of this suffering?”

Yro Krantz, The State of a Nation

Pushing past the feelings that haunt me
About myself and what I’ve done
Wasn’t good enough so be it
The knives they dig deeper into the skin
The pain it hurts the more it goes
Pushing past the feelings from before
About myself and who I am
Wasn’t good enough so be it
Anger burning off more of the skin
The blood gets warmer as the heart dies
The pain hurts until I can’t feel it any more
Pushing past these feelings that live in me
About myself and who I’ll always be
Not being good enough was all there was
Scars replacing dead skin like a cocoon
The pain I’ve felt for so long in this place
Wasn’t what I thought it was… could be
A rebirth… an awakening of what you made me
Perception is more than what can be seen
Relieving these feelings I thought haunted me

Here I was thinking I still had a mountain of words to go through… and I really didn’t… Running low on Broken Thoughts… finally catching up from last year… Not sure what that really means… Been keeping up the best that I can… so it shouldn’t mess with my schedule… or plans…

I say it shouldn’t… but no one knows less than me about what I’m doing with my life… And just like myself… we will all have to wait and see… So expect more… expect something… expect nothing at all… Either way we are all on this ride together… Hope all is well…