Chewing On Glass…

Unjustified dying in your seat
Standing on your feet
What do you do when the reaper
Comes before you expect
Comes wandering by a little to
Early for your plans of absent dreams
What do you do then… I wonder
Simple so simple can’t you see… you die
Unjustified dying on you feet
Think it feels any different on your knees
Why? Because someone told you it would?
How silly… people say so many things
Unrealized and given away
This justification wasn’t what it was
Unrealized potential sitting in your seat
Standing on your feet
What do you do when the reaper comes
Learn to get out of the way

Getting older is exhausting…

I had hoped the plane would crash
But there’s no luck… not even for me
I had hoped the blade would’ve come down
But there’s no luck… not even for you
I had hoped I’d wake up dead
Oh well… guess I’ll have to try again

The truth is that too many of us are looking for something to destroy…

Never what I said but you go on
Believing that until your dead
I don’t have the energy to fight
With a lack of reason
The lies breeding in your head
I don’t have the energy to argue
A point that was never meant to
Mean anything to anyone
Stuck somewhere between
The living and the dead
The hopeless and the fucked
If intelligence was a disease
Good news your healthy

Recently… I got called a smart ass… Not to my face of course… No one has the curtesy to say what they feel to your face… Seems to almost be a disease that follows us no matter where we are in this time line… To this unrequested observation about myself… All I have to say is…

I’d rather be a smart ass than a dumb ass so, it’s a good thing for us all that life is about choices. And my hope for you is that when the time comes you make the right choice… Is what I would have said… Probably have said… Hard to tell really… people are so sensitive these days… Context…

Everything calls for context… deserves context… I suppose… Unfortunately… in this sense more context will only lead me to trouble… Apologies… but I have a life to protect… Nor do I want to waste your time with so much useless… pointless things… Believe me… it is all very meaningless…

And that is what I’d rather talk about… Not getting weighed down with meaningless things… Always easier said than done… and a problem I find myself running into way too much… Much more than I ever want… wanted too… The last week or so… Has been a trial… a trial of myself and who I believe myself to be… It hasn’t been an easy week for me…

Falling under the wheels of bull shit doesn’t feel good… It hurts… but you survive… Again… I have a life outside of all of this to protect… And everything started off very negative… Happy to say that it should end all positive… Not because life cares to make it that way… because it doesn’t… and it won’t…

It took a change of myself… and how I was thinking… how I felt about certain things… With the help of my friends and family… I found a way to overcome… To shed all this stupid little shit that doesn’t matter in the end weighing me down… Things that are easy to get bogged down with when they don’t matter… Maybe this is happening to you… Maybe it feels like there is no way to move past what feels like is holding you back…

There is… there is a way… even if you can’t see it right away… even if you can’t find it on your own… Help comes in many forms… at many different times… And life is about choices… Choices we’ve made… good or bad… And yes, somethings are permanent… That’s a whole other conversation… a completely different thought… But not everything is as big as it seems… It is important to find that context in our lives…

Life is also about forgiveness… forgiving ourselves… forgiving others… and forgiveness can be the hardest thing to find in this life…. for yourself… to find in others… but it has to be found… Because these little things… these little pointless things… they will only stack up… they will only hurt you… Sounds extreme… and it is… but only if you let it get that way… If you let it consume you… don’t reach out…

And that’s what I have to say… Don’t let things have to be the way they used to be… Life is about progress… It is about moving forward… Read more… See more… Live more… Taken in all the things you can… So that you can be more… and not for anyone… or anything… Do it for yourself… the rest will come together with time… Whatever it may be… Hope all is well…