Chewing On Glass…

If the right decision was the wrong one
I’m not too sure I’d get it right then
If making any choice was to be made
Without a doubt I’d have to turn around
If the right idea was the wrong way
I’m not too sure it would matter any way
If making any choice lead me astray
Was it saying anything in the first place?
You pretend that you know
But the truth is none of us do

We have to be able to accept people for who they are… not who we want them to be…

Living through the darkness
Of a cloudless sky
The fog slips on in and I don’t know
What it was meant to be
What it means to be living or dead
No more nowhere if everything is here
Within reach the life in me slips away
I no longer struggle because
I no longer care to bother
Sisyphus smiles so I could live
Past generations speaking out to me again
How could I deny such a simple message
Better to die on your own terms
Than live out the will of others
A thin line separates a truth
That can’t be seen until it has passed
What it really means to be living or have died
Locked in here it is easy to see why
The insane make more sense with time
Screaming into the padded walls
Of my existence I am absent to the reality
Slowly dying and I still don’t know
Why it has always had to be this way
Through the halls of time
So little has changed
Between us and them
the people of the past
And whatever it is we’ve become

It wasn’t worth it… but I tried…

Abandoned once again
The emptiness can’t fill
The hole that has been my heart
From years of the same old thing
This time it feels different
Even if it doesn’t seem like it
The fear I feel isn’t the same
Wandering into the darkness
This time… once again…
Stronger than I was
Stronger than I am
If I could have been anything
I’m just glad I’ll be me
Until the end…

Let’s face it… Life is a little too busy shitting down our throats… That’s more graphic than I really wanted that to be… Let’s face it… Life doesn’t give a damn… It didn’t come with some set of instructions to follow… and those before us tried the best they could to leave some behind… but facts are facts… We are just all doing the best we can to enjoy what little time we have…

Laws are good… order is good… but too much of anything is little more than a bad fucking time… No one is lining up for heaven because you get a bunch of shit… They are lining up to find some sort of peace… and I ask you… I ask us all… Who the fuck said we couldn’t have that here?… Who said this life… our lives… were little more than crash test dummies to test all the bad thoughts out?…

I’d love to meet that person… Loved to get to know what dumb piece of shit set us all on a collision course to fucking stupidity… Let’s face it… Life is fucking hard… it is confusing… it is so many negative things… But it doesn’t have to be… In theory it doesn’t have to be anything at all… In theory that is what makes life so damn exciting…

These rules we strap ourselves to… This order we naturally crave… Some of them are undeniable truths… but many of them are little more than suggestions… We shouldn’t kill… we should support and build… We shouldn’t hurt… We should serve and protect… We shouldn’t pray… we should act… but if praying to whoever makes you feel better… What does it matter who that is?…

Life isn’t black and white… red or blue… day over night… Life isn’t two sided… and neither are you and I… but something in me tells me… if we put in as much effort that we spend hurting each other… denying each other… hating each other… If we reversed our efforts in the other direction… Something tells me we wouldn’t have to waste a life time waiting for that peace we all need so desperately…

I’ve been told I was a dreamer… I’ve been told that I’m full of shit… and sure maybe I am… both of those things and more… and sure… maybe I don’t get “it”… whatever “it” is… But the truth is… What I don’t get is why we keep doing this to ourselves when no one ever said we had to in the first place… Hope all is well…