Chewing On Glass…

My moods change with the seasons
My attitude kills the weakest of our kind
And my emotional dependency depends
On little else than what’s around me
What am I if I’m not you being someone else
Who am I supposed to be if I’m someone else

Losing time standing around…

Waiting in line and growing old
The times they are a changing
But still staying mostly the same
Was I supposed to do something
With this life in such a short time?

My heart isn’t the whore it used to be…

Everyone is in a hurry
With no place to go
Dead moon rising
Texas highway 281
Everyone is in a hurry
With no place to go
They get there in time
Dragged across
Texas highway 281

Tonight is one of those nights… where I have the time… all the time anyone could ask for… and not a god damn ounce of motivation… I just want to lay my head down… curl into a ball… and just wait for the day to pass me by… Digging through the thoughts… digging through the vast emptiness… It is nights like this that I think… Why do I bother to do anything?…

The good times can’t last forever… they can last for a time… but believing that every day will be better than the last… is such a waste of time… Spiraling out… and I get the feeling you can tell… Sorry in advance to those of you that have made it this far… Apologetic in an apocalyptic fashion… the kids now days call it crashing out… If I could I’d destroy it all… Take your pick about what that means… I care so little that it is less than nothing…

Negatives… So low on a scale… it is like I am not even there… Spiraling out… it digs a hole like a grave to the center of the earth… No one knew so I just kept going until I found a place even hotter than hell… A tomb I can call home… It is little more than a cave reserved for the broken hearted… The ones that don’t even know… but somehow found out… I haven’t been here long… but somehow it feels like a lifetime…

Feeling sorry for one self… Is still feeling?… Is it not?… I didn’t… I don’t think so either… As the paper cuts the skin… slowly the pain takes a hold… and I can’t remember why it is I’ve been here for so long… It stings… the phantom pains of past mistakes… a longing for something more… when there is no more to be had… What is one to want?… When they have more than they need?… I don’t know either… If life isn’t enough… What is?…

Still… I search… in the darkest of rooms… the light escapes like a vacuum… haunting me but never there… Still… I search… through the muck… through the dirtiest of grounds… to find something I lost to the sands of time… gave away without protest… It sinks deeper… and deeper I swim with shallow breathes… I know it has to be there… I know it is there… I’ve felt it before… I feel it now… Pulling me further along…

Hope all is well… I’m sure I’ll be fine… Probably just need to lay down…