Chewing On Glass…

This isn’t a dream
This can’t be reality
When nothing feels right
Starring into a blacked out light
The disease in me has grown up fine
Did you ever wonder where the time went
Or did you just decide that you didn’t care
This isn’t a dream
This can’t be reality
When nothing leaves feeling right
Screaming into the trees… branches shaking
Down on both knees. Wonder what went wrong
The sickness in me said I was fine
Did you ever care where the time went
Or did you just decide that you didn’t wonder
This isn’t a dream and it can’t be reality
When nothing about any of this feels right
Standing into oncoming traffic
The illness in me has settled in nicely
Did you ever wonder where the time went
Or did you just decide to let it go?…

Destruction never felt so sweet… a hole at the end of the earth…

Could have spent another lifetime
Not thinking about anything you said
I guess I’ll spend the rest of this one
Wondering what it means
About what you meant to say
When you gave up on me and walked away

The lies we will make up inside our own heads…

How could it be
What does it mean
Why aren’t we sure
That not everything
Has to mean something more
Lost all my time
To a disease in my mind
Gave away all my time
To an excuse in my life
How could it be
What does it mean
Why isn’t anyone sure
That not everything
Could mean something more
Lost all my time
To the lies in my mind
Gave away all my time
To an excuse without a reason
As to why…

Another long one… Drawing a blank… and trying not to go into a default rambling about nothing once again… Been knee deep… drowning in things that don’t matter… Even if the world likes to present to me that such things… should mean anything to me…

Got plenty of my own problems to dwell on… to move past… and these little meaningless distractions… aren’t helping… Motivation seems harder to obtain the older I get… the more each day escapes me… Excuses… I know… I have heard… but at a certain point… things just become true… even if you don’t want them to be…

Mouth is dry… and I don’t know what else to say… A broken hypothalamus has left me to feel like I am rotting away… Makes me feel so tired of being awake… but here we are… here it is… Another day disappearing on me… Don’t call it a comeback… I was happy enough to just let it drain away… Hope all is well…