Chewing On Glass…

Falling asleep listening to the voices
The ones that speak in regret and past tense
The ones that never tell me it will be okay
Falling asleep while in constant motion
They call it life, but I don’t know
The difference between living and dying
Falling asleep listening to the voices
The ones that speak in tongues
And what could have been
The ones that never had the answers
When the time it comes
Falling asleep where I stand
They call it death, but I don’t know
The difference between dying and living
Was told to pick one, but I don’t know
Which one of you to believe inside my head

You know you’re probably too loud if anyone can hear you…

Can’t believe everything you hear
Related to your fears
The worlds on fire… sure
Been that way since before you’ve been born
Will be that way long after you’ve said good bye
What did you hope to do with so little time?
The needle moves a little further to the right
We’ve been getting closer to the end
This whole time and so much longer
Been gambling on the tides coming for you
Is it really that hard to see who’ll win?
Truth is we’ll all need bathing suits at high tide
What is it we are all running from so hard?
The truth and so little else…

Spoken words and forgotten rhythms…

Downloading all my thoughts
Broken or otherwise
My mind an open sore
For your infection
Cracked sense of salvation
An idea that any of this
Could make any sense
Like strapping on boots
Then putting on pants
The struggle is proof
We know, we knew what to do
So, follow along and you too
Can believe that all this shit
Was meant for you, you alone
A land that is as much mine as yours
This land is made up of too many
You and me with our dicks in our hands
Believe me we’ve been playing along
For far too long to the idea of freedom
This wasn’t going to get any better that it was
Evolution it appears was meant to stop with us
Thank you and you’re welcome
That’s all we ever wanted to hear
After a lifetime of giving it away
It is life and what we think it means
To be human in a world of animals
Giant beasts that don’t give a shit
About your feelings on the subject
Of preservation, maintaining any of this
For the children… the generations to come
Washed away and drifting down the drain

So many thoughts running through my head… and not a single one of them having to do with anything you just read… perfect… Some pretty deep stuff today… about life… living… and the rest of it… But my mind is too focused on shit that doesn’t matter… work… working… tomorrow… and how much I don’t want to do any of it…

A never ending nightmare… I can’t seem to let go… A virus implanted in me… Why is it that the things that don’t matter the most… seem to mean everything?… Distracted… distractions… a noise with no source… The call is so loud… the need to fuel a flame I can no longer find in me… The longer this goes… the harder it is to get anything done…

I don’t know where I was going with this… but in all fairness… I never really do… Doing everything I can to avoid downloading every stupid thought on my mind right now… Trying even harder to not just put on YouTube… and sit here for the next three hours… The will is weak today… but if I’m being honest… I don’t even really want to do that as much as I think I do…

Time is so precious… and yet… there still always feels like there is nothing to do… Is that a paradox?… It feels like it… Not that how something feels makes it true… It doesn’t matter… Nothing really matters… I guess it doesn’t matter… I’m not even depressed today… Hope all is well…