Chewing On Glass Presents… I Remember You…

I Remember You

“Meghan is that you?” She turns as though my voice is familiar and yet somehow distant.  We lock eyes, “No one’s pronounced my names right in years.” She stands in front of me after all these years later. “I’m sure they haven’t. I’m sure you made sure they got it right in the end though,” I say to her. She gives off a fake friendly laugh. A chuckle really if you should be so lame. She follows it up with a smile, “You’d be right, but then you always were won’t you?” I don’t smile because it wouldn’t be who I am in the face of the past. “I missed you too,” I lie because that is who I am. It’s been so many years by choice and vast amounts of distance. Why she is even here in front of me is puzzling on its own, but here she stands none the less. Though in a way this all is just petty. Her need for childish attention drove us apart. Made us two very different people and in the end made us nothing more than friends of the past. How we related in the first place is beyond me. Even now after all these years I still don’t really miss her. I still don’t really care, but being human of course I do in some sense.

“How have you been? How was California?” I ask her. She thinks I care. I can tell by her surprised look that she thinks that I have been keep tabs on her. “California was good. A long time ago, but it was good. Super expensive in the end so I had to get out of there,” she keeps her answers vague and short. It seems so out of place for her to be here. I can’t tell if she’s sure she wants to see me or why she would want to. I’m past history. A foot note in her life as she is in mine. The last time we spoke we didn’t because I walked out. Walked out of her life as if she didn’t matter and in a way she didn’t. I didn’t feel guilty then because I thought I never see her again. Yet as she stands before me I can’t say the same thing. Guilty feelings about how things ended so many years ago in Washington. “It is crazy to see you here of all places,” she finally breaks the silence growing between us. “Never thought you would move to Texas,” she adds. “Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I’d live here either. Haven’t been here too long though. Did a spell in New York for a while and then ended up here,” I answer. “New York is where your mother is from right?” She remembers and I node my head. “Yeah, my wife’s family is from here,” I tell her like I tell everyone. A constant denial that I would move here by any other choice. “So you live here?” She asks me like a detective trying to get the facts straight. “Yep,” I say confused to this line of questioning.

“A bit of a cliché don’t you think? Ever think of someplace to go without training wheels?” Lighter, can of gasoline, and check mate. Her true colors begin to shine in the mid afternoon sun. No one likes to think they can’t do it on their own. No one likes to feel as though they need mommy and daddy to support them. No one likes this idea especially not her. “My wife’s idea,” I say as though I had no say in the matter. A half-truth repeated so many times in my head, but really what was I to do? “I’m sure it was. She still leading you around like you are an alpha male, but really you are nothing more than a puppy on a very short leash?” She always knew the best ways to make it hurt. Her words could be like poison or a bed of nails. A talent really that few of us can pull off as well as her. A talent only possessed by demons and devils, but a talent none the less. “I am my own man,” I say even if it comes out hollow. I stand by the words in my head. “She doesn’t influence me to do anything I don’t already want to do.” She smiles as my statement, “Spoken like a true married man. A little bit Stockholm syndrome rehearsed, but I’m sure they are all your own words in the end.” She thinks she has me against some sort of theoretical ropes. This is always how she, how we talked to each other. A match of wits always trying to out maneuver each other. “You never did approve of relationships much,” I say bouncing off the ropes. “You got me there,” she puts her guard up. Ready for anything I take my swing. “Is that because you are a lesbian or because of something else?”

“This many years and now you want to get personal?” She asks me deflecting my question. She is right though it has been many years. Many years of a lot of things being left unsaid, unanswered, or unspoken that drove a wedge between us so long ago. “I was only asking considering,” I begin to say. “Considering what?” She questions in an almost hostile tone. Maybe my verbal punch did more damage than I thought? “Considering you are always on the move. Never staying anywhere long enough to be a part of anything,” I say to her. Giving away the fact that I have been keeping tabs on her. From a distance and never reaching out, but paying attention none the less. She looks solemn to my response, “Long enough to know anybody. What about you? Always moving yourself.” She turns around on me. “Time and money are two very different things. Yet they go together as if they are meant to be,” I respond. “Deep, you been working on that for a while now?” She asks me. For the first time I smile, “No, I’m a writer now. It comes naturally.” She lets off another hollowed laugh, “Any self-obsessed asshole can be a writer so, I’m not surprised.” A talent or a curse I can’t decide anymore. A talent or a curse. “Well it’s my dream so thanks,” I respond slightly wounded. “Are you really hurt or are you just playing the part?” She asks with venom dripping from her teeth.

“The part I guess,” we lock eyes and neither of us have much left to say. There should be a million things to keep us talking for hours, but in the end none of them really matter. Too many empty silences in this broken down conversation. Too many I could give a damn ideas and thoughts. If I cared enough. If she cared enough. We could let them all go and be civil. I don’t care to bring up the past, but here it stands before me. Right in front of me as though a distant memory of the past and the present have collided. The silence between us is deafening and yet neither of us can walk away. Drawn together by some cosmic need to stand in this very place. Locking eyes and staring into each other’s soul looking for anything that could resemble what we are looking for in this situation. I find nothing, but there is something that tells me she hasn’t reached the same conclusion. “I have AIDS,” she says with actual sincerity. “That’s why I have been moving so much. Not getting to know anyone. I want to protect myself from letting anyone new in. While taking in everything that I can before it is all said and done with. Making the rounds so to speak. Making my way around this world to figure out my place all along,” she lays out all of her cards before me.

“But you are a lesbian, statistically this isn’t even possible. Well it is but more unlikely,” I try to rationalize out loud. “Just because I’m gay,” she breaks down. Her tears trickle out one by one before becoming streams on her face. “No one wants to be gay. We lie and say we do with our parades and our words, but in reality we just want to be normal,” she cries. “Being gay is normal,” I say as I extend my hand to her shoulder. She pushes my hand away, “No, no it is not. Being gay is not normal. We make it seem that way because we want it to be normal. I only wanted to be normal. Be seen as normal by everyone. So I gave it a shot. Found a man at a bar and played the part of the normal woman. Guess what I didn’t think to ask? Guess what didn’t cross my mind as I laid there trying to be who I was supposed to be?” I don’t answer her questions. I only listen. “I lost, I lost it all, and now. Now I’m just trying to do it all before I’m all gone,” she chokes out. Too much emotion. I’m not good with all of this. Being silent is what I am good at. Distant and far is the only approach I know. “Sorry,” I say as though the word could ever wash away all of her troubles. That the word could solve anything at all.

“I don’t need your sympathy,” she spits back into my face. “I was only trying.” But she cuts me off. “Only trying to what? Care? I know that you don’t care or give a damn about anyone or anything. You like to be distant. You like to be away from people. It lets you think that you are better than everyone else,” her voice echoes in a loop. “This is different,” I want to say but she’s not listening. “I should have never told you and you wouldn’t have never known. It was great to see you again,” she says before storming away from me. There I stood not knowing what to do. There I stood in my past as the present spun me up in a giant web. I never saw her again. Only in my dreams of our last conversation. So many things I should have done differently, but in the end all I will have are these memories, this horrid dream of her.

I walk down from the podium and make my way down the aisle until I find my seat. The long hard benches that make up the church. Solemn and crying as my words still dance in front of me. The mask is off the monster and I don’t like what I see. What I’ve always seen. The reasons I am the way I am. “Would anyone else like to say a few words about the departed?” echoing through the hollowness of my soul.

This is actually a story from my forth coming novel… I would have put up an image of the book cover… but I am still trying to figure that out… I have a title… but I am not really ready to reveal that at the moment either… Unless I already did… haha… I have been busy working on that… and other things…

So… why am I posting this story if I am not ready to share anything surrounding it?… I actually found this story in my random files to save… it was originally going to be just for the website… but it fit in nicely with my ideas for my next novel… though I have no idea where yet… I write very much backwards and forwards… I also over write… I’m sure a lot of us do… whether it makes it in the book or not is a question for the future…

So this story… what is real… and what is fiction… I’d say 50/50… but it doesn’t matter because in the end… after it is all said and done… it could be 100% false or 100% true… and still work… sounds easy enough… nothing easy ever really is though… I actually based this on a few people I know… a few things I went through… a few conversations I actually had…

I like this story because as we transition into a better society… there will still be a lot of questions about what is right… what is normal… that was the part of the story that stood out to me… that I liked… Meghan had doubts that she was normal… and she was… perfectly normal for who she was… but sometimes society and those close to us have a way of making us feel like we aren’t… even the strongest person can succumb to the pressure being exerted all them… I’m not going to sit here and preach… not my place in this world… I’m not even going to say you have to “love” everyone just because… but you don’t have to hate them either… something to think about if you haven’t already…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

Chewing On Glass Presents… See Through the Light Into The Darkness…

The body lays on the ground before me pale and mutilated. So, pale that it doesn’t even look human at first. She lays stretched out in a cross like formation. Her hands not nailed to a board, but spiked into the ground. Both palms and one large spike through the ankles. No blood lies in her palms. No blood at all on the body. Could that be why she is so pale? The body has been placed here. Left here naked and abused. Whoever did this didn’t care for her, but what she represented to them. Jealousy? Lust? Foot prints all around the body. Us, him, or them? Can’t tell until it is all said and done. Still processing the body. Could be hours before we could even begin to find out. Must assume that it is more than one. I don’t like to assume. Leads down the wrong path. Goes places we shouldn’t. Her hands are stretched out not clinched. No, other wounds besides the palms and ankles. How did she die where she didn’t cling her hands? Natural to close our fists in pain. Did she die in pain? Where is the blood and where did it come out? Arms are clear of track marks. No usual signs of drugs. Body covered in tattoos, piercings, and what looks like other body modifications. She had money or money to burn. The work is good. Not cheap. Someone would have known if she had been missing. How long has she been missing? Who is she? Rubbing my eyes and as they make that funny wet sound a voice brings me back to reality.

“We found her like this,” a uniformed officer says nervously. He is trying to not act as though he isn’t bothered by this. Playing the part of the strong cop, but no one is used to seeing this. Not even me I want to say, but keep it to myself. “Sent in a call to the F.B.I. and here you are,” the lead detective finishes for him. Here I am. This shouldn’t even be my assignment. This is my areas of expertise, but nowhere near my home office.  Of course something like this had to happen while I was down here for a seminar. Go teach a class on homicidal profiling, take a break from the field, enjoy the calm relaxing atmosphere of the south my boss told me. Now I’m stuck here for at least a few days if not until this is solved. “You don’t speak much do you? Quiet type?” The lead detective asks me. “Is this the first?” I ask ignoring his basic observation of me. “The first what?” He throws back at me. “The first murder of this nature? Nothing about this says one and done,” I say to him. “Oh, yeah it is. Ain’t been nothing like this ever done here before,” he says confidently. “I’m going to need you or the officer to reach out to the other counties and possibly the surrounding states to confirm that,” I ask of him. “I told you nothing like this before,” the lead detective says hostile. “Here, but there are how many other counties in this state or the surrounding ones? We need to know all the information that we can,” I inform him. He steps closer to me, “We are trying to keep this, this crime from the getting out. No one needs to know that this happened here. The town can’t afford such a thing.” The lead detective gives me a serious look of concern. “It is a little late for all of that,” I say to him. “You telling me a guy with your smarts can’t solve this all quick like?” He asks me. I can’t tell if he is being a smart ass or I’m hyper sensitive at the moment. “That is not how my job works,” I say taking the high road. “Sure it does. They say you’re like a body whisper or something like that. You’ve solved all kinds of cases and what not,” he rationalizes. “I helped solve all kinds of cases and what not. It takes more than one person to solve these types of murders. I need the information I asked for and I’m going to need a lot more than a body nailed to the ground to help you solve this case,” I tell him. “I’ll get someone on it then,” he says annoyed. “I’m also going to need every ones shoe print before they leave here,” I slip in. “What? In the hell would we need that for?” He questions. “Way too many foot prints around the body. Either you have a much larger team of forensic experts or there was more than one person laying down the body,” I say pointing at the grass around the body. “I need to go and finish out my assignment. Call me when you get the report back from the coroner,” I hand him my cell number. “I’ll place some calls with my department and see if I can’t find any more helpful information,” I finish. “Is that all?” He asks annoyed. “Yeah, don’t screw this up and be prepared to find more. If this is a local thing. It is not going to stop at this,” I say walking back to my rental car.

“See the way the bodies are arranged? It’s a message, a warning. These aren’t satanic killings. These are Christian in nature,” I point out. “No, good Christian would do a thing like this,” the lead detective objects. “No, but a bad one might,” I say amazed I even have to say it at all. It is shocking to think that even in this day and age it might seem to out of place for such a thing in the south. Religious extremist come in all shapes and sizes. “I’m telling you no one who believes in God would ever do a thing like this,” he says as though reading from a script. “Unless it was for a purpose. The bible is riddled with stories of justice brought on by violence. Every Christian church has a statue of Jesus nailed to a cross. Not standing next to. Nailed to a cross, hands bound, and a crown made of thrones placed on his head. This wasn’t the work of Satanists or the occult. This is Christian in nature. The only question in my mind is how many?” I lay out. “How many what?” He asks. “How many people are involved and how many more victims are we going to stumble upon?” My presented questions go unanswered as they should. “I’m going to need an APB out on nay traveling Christian groups, any churches with overly religious themes, and anything of that nature,” I say into the phone. “Hold on just a minute. Do you have any idea where you are? This is the south. You’ve just halted traffic from here to Georgia,” he says. “Good, then our killer or killers will have no place to go. We need to find them and find them quickly,” I tell him. “Agree, but there is no way this is going to happen. The state doesn’t have the man power to cover every road in and out of this state. They could be days ahead of us,” he says. The first smart thing he has said in all this time. “Well we still need whatever man power you have looking out for these types of people,” I say again. “I suppose I could lock down the whole state while I’m at it,” he says sarcastically. “If you think it will help,” I say right back. “I have to go. Call me back when you have the report on the body,” I inform him before hanging up. Walking back onto the tiny school auditorium stage I address the audience of officers once again. My mind on the case and my mouth reciting something entirely else. The sooner I get back to the case the sooner I can get out of here.

“Why her though?” The detective asks me. “Why not her? Is what you should be asking,” I say to him as we look at her body on the metal slab. “Said it yourself earlier. There’s not a girl like her for hundreds of miles in any direction. She is tattooed, pierced up, and most importantly different,” I say to the detective. “So you think because she is different she is a target?” He asks. “If we are to believe the religious nature of this killings and the others that might be connected, then yes.” I walk around the body and try to look at her from another angle. “Hold on, not this again. I’m telling you the killer ain’t Christian. No good Christian could do this,” he says frustrated. I feel as though this is a road block I will never be able to get around until it is too late. “You shouldn’t be even pushing towards this hunch of yours you got going,” he spits on the floor of the examination room, a nice big wad of tobacco and saliva. “I assure you I am not pushing towards the Christian killer or killers. The facts however are. Either the killer is Christian or they are a huge fan of the Bible. Either way we both can agree that they are not receiving the message.” He rolls his eyes, “I ain’t agreeing to shit. I mean who does this?” He points at the victims groin area. “I mean look at these pictures,” he hands me the photos. “What kind of sick freak does this to a lady? Even a lady like her.” I push the photo back, “She did that to herself or she paid to have it done. Cutting slits into the labia has become something of a fade lately. You can see this in that the skin around the slits is already scared over. This tells me that she was passionate about her body modifications and that is about it. Nothing else to go on about that.” He cringes in horror at every word that I say. He seems more visibly upset over the body mods than he did this morning at the crime scene. “People do this to themselves?” He asks once again. “People do all kinds of things to themselves. This is pretty new. Not a lot of people doing this. Most mods serve a purpose such as image or perception. This one in particular is private. Doesn’t serve an overall purpose that we could help us. Even if we tried to tack down where she got it done it would lead to a dead end,” I rationalize out loud. “I just can’t believe,” he says as he shakes his head. “There are so many things you can’t believe out there. Not important. There’s nothing here beyond the obvious. No finger prints, no semen, no blunt force trauma, and least of all anything to go on. We can wait for the toxicology report, but unless that comes back with some rare drug we don’t have shit,” I say frustrated. “So, we sit and wait then?” He asks. “So it seems,” I say. The door of the exam room opens and a portly man walks in with a clip board. “Did you get through the whole report?” He asks. “Skimmed through the bullets points,” I tell him. “Any idea why they would choose to drain all her blood through her vagina?” He asks. “What?” I flip through the report once again. “They wiped the area around the vagina clean, but when I was examining for trauma and semen that’s when I noticed something odd. It seems they didn’t want to disturb the outside of her body so they went from within. She had to have been drugged or dosed with something, but there is no needle marks that I could find. So either she swallowed something willingly or she sat there calmly as they mutilated her insides,” the pathologist say calmly. “That doesn’t make any sense,” I say. “Nope, most mutilations like that would have to have some sort of sexual element to them. She wasn’t a virgin, but it has been sometime since she had any type of intercourse. Obviously I can’t pinpoint an exact date, but it hasn’t been any time recent. This has some religious aspect written all over it,” he informs us. I look at the detective and he rolls his eyes. “I believe that too, but even Jesus went through hell before they placed him on a cross. So what was her crime and why not kill her another way?” I ask them. “Are you really questioning such a thing?” The lead detective asks. “Whoever did this is obviously sick,” he follows up. “Local PD,” the examiner says to me. I nod my head. “What the hell does that mean,” the detective says offended. “Nothing,” the examiner says. “I wish I could be more help, but this body is clean. Perfect almost except for the inner genitals,” he says. “So it wasn’t just one?” I ask. “Not even close. If I had to guess nailing her to the ground wasn’t the first option. I think they may have tried to first shove a stake through her, but it didn’t work out? Not sure. Whatever they put up there wasn’t very big. As I said she hasn’t been penetrated for a while,” he shrugs. “All I know is you two have your work cut out for you.”

The body lays on the ground before me pale and mutilated. So, pale that it doesn’t even look human at first. She lays stretched out in a cross like formation. Her hands not nailed to a board, but spiked into the ground. Both palms and one large spike through the ankles. No blood lies in her palms. No blood at all on the body. Could that be why she is so pale? The body has been placed here. Left here naked and abused. Whoever did this didn’t care for her, but what she represented to them. Jealousy? Lust? Foot prints all around the body. Us, him, or them? Can’t tell until it is all said and done. Still processing the body. Could be hours before we could even begin to find out. Must assume that it is more than one. I don’t like to assume. Leads down the wrong path. Goes places we shouldn’t. Her hands are stretched out not clinched. No, other wounds besides the palms and ankles. How did she die where she didn’t cling her hands? Natural to close our fists in pain. Did she die in pain? Where is the blood and where did it come out? Arms are clear of track marks. No usual signs of drugs. Body covered in tattoos, piercings, and what looks like other body modifications. She had money or money to burn. The work is good. Not cheap. Someone would have known if she had been missing. How long has she been missing? Who is she? Rubbing my eyes and as they make that funny wet sound a voice brings him back to reality.

“We found her like this,” a uniformed officer says nervously. He is trying to not act as though he isn’t bothered by this. Playing the part of the strong cop, but no one is used to seeing this. Not even me he wants to say, but keep it to himself. “Sent in a call to the F.B.I. and here you are,” the lead detective finishes for him. Here he is. This shouldn’t even be his assignment. This is his areas of expertise, but nowhere near his home office.  Of course something like this had to happen while he was down here for a seminar. Go teach a class on homicidal profiling, take a break from the field, enjoy the calm relaxing atmosphere of the south his boss told him. Now he is stuck here for at least a few days if not until this is solved. “You don’t speak much do you? Quiet type?” The lead detective asks him. “Is this the first?” He asks ignoring the basic observation of him. He has always been a thinker. Most people can’t take it, but he can’t change who he is. “The first what?” The Lead detective throws back at him. “The first murder of this nature? Nothing about this says one and done,” He says to him. “Oh, yeah it is. Ain’t been nothing like this ever done here before,” he says confidently. “I’m going to need you or the officer to reach out to the other counties and possibly the surrounding states to confirm that,” He questions. “I told you nothing like this before,” the lead detective says hostile. “Here, but there are how many other counties in this state or the surrounding ones? We need to know all the information that we can,” He inform him. The lead detective steps closer to him, “We are trying to keep this, this crime from the getting out. No one needs to know that this happened here. The town can’t afford such a thing.” The lead detective gives him a serious look of concern. “It is a little late for all of that,” He smiles. “You telling me a guy with your smarts can’t solve this all quick like?” The detective asks him. He can’t tell if he is being a smart ass or if he is being hyper sensitive at the moment this early in his morning. “That is not how my job works,” He says taking the high road. “Sure it does. They say you’re like a body whisper or something like that. You’ve solved all kinds of cases and what not,” The detective rationalizes. “I helped solve all kinds of cases and what not. It takes more than one person to solve these types of murders. I need the information I asked for and I’m going to need a lot more than a body nailed to the ground to help you solve this case,” He looks back down to the body. “I’ll get someone on it then,” The detective says annoyed. “I’m also going to need every ones shoe print before they leave here,” He slip in. “What? In the hell would we need that for?” The detective questions. “Way too many foot prints around the body. Either you have a much larger team of forensic experts or there was more than one person laying down the body,” He points at the grass around the body. “I need to go and finish out my assignment. Call me when you get the report back from the coroner,” He hands the detective his business card containing his cell number. “I’ll place some calls with my department and see if I can’t find any more helpful information,” He informs. “Is that all?” He asks annoyed. “Yeah, don’t screw this up and be prepared to find more. If this is a local thing. It is not going to stop at this,” He tells them walking back to his rental car.

“See the way the bodies are arranged? It’s a message, a warning. These aren’t satanic killings. These are Christian in nature,” He points out in the pictures. “No, good Christian would do a thing like this,” the lead detective objects. “No, but a bad one might,” He says amazed he’d even have to say it at all. It is shocking to think that even in this day and age it might seem to out of place for such a thing in the south. Religious extremist come in all shapes and sizes. He thinks to himself.  “I’m telling you no one who believes in God would ever do a thing like this,” The Detective says as though reading from a script. “Unless it was for a purpose. The bible is riddled with stories of justice brought on by violence. Every Christian church has a statue of Jesus nailed to a cross. Not standing next to. Nailed to a cross, hands bound, and a crown made of thrones placed on his head. This wasn’t the work of Satanists or the occult. This is Christian in nature. The only question in my mind is how many?” He says as he looks down at the picture in front of him. “How many what?” He asks. “How many people are involved and how many more victims are we going to stumble upon?” His presented questions go unanswered as they should. “I’m going to need an APB out on any traveling Christian groups, any churches with overly religious themes, and anything of that nature,” He says picking up his phone. “Hold on just a minute. Do you have any idea where you are? This is the south. You’ve just halted traffic from here to Georgia,” The detective laughs. “Good, then our killer or killers will have no place to go. We need to find them and find them quickly,” He tells him. “Agree, but there is no way this is going to happen. The people of the south may be cool, calm, and collective, but they are still human. No one is that friendly anywhere. Besides the state doesn’t have the man power to cover every road in and out of this state, and I can guarantee the other states don’t either. They could be days ahead of us,” The detective points out. The first smart thing he has said in all this time he thinks to himself. “Well we still need whatever man power you have looking out for these types of people,” He says again. “I suppose I could lock down the whole state while I’m at it,” The detective says sarcastically. “If you think it will help,” He smiles right back. “I have to go. Call me back when you have the report on the body,” He inform him before excusing himself. “I need to get back to why I am here.” Walking back onto the tiny school auditorium stage he address the audience of officers once again. His mind is on the case and his mouth reciting something entirely else. The sooner he get back to the case the sooner he can get out of here. “Why her though?” The detective asks him. “Why not her? Is what you should be asking,” He says to him as they look at her body on the metal slab. “Said it yourself earlier. There’s not a girl like her for hundreds of miles in any direction. She is tattooed, pierced up, and most importantly different,” He says to the detective. “So you think because she is different she is a target?” The detective asks. “If we are to believe the religious nature of this killings and the others that might be connected, then yes.” He walks around the body and try to look at her from another angle. “Hold on, not this again. I’m telling you the killer ain’t Christian. No good Christian could do this,” The detective says frustrated. He feel as though this is a road block he will never be able to get around until it is too late. “You shouldn’t be even pushing towards this hunch of yours you got going,” The detective spits on the floor of the examination room, a nice big wad of tobacco and saliva. “I assure you I am not pushing towards the Christian killer or killers. The facts however are. Either the killer is Christian or they are a huge fan of the Bible. Either way we both can agree that they are not receiving the message.” The detective rolls his eyes, “I ain’t agreeing to shit. I mean who does this?” He points at the victims groin area. “I mean look at these pictures,” The detective presents the photos once again. “What kind of sick freak does this to a lady? Even a lady like her.” he pushes the photo back, “She did that to herself or she paid to have it done. Cutting slits into the labia has become something of a fade lately. You can see this in that the skin around the slits is already scared over. This tells me that she was passionate about her body modifications and that is about it. Nothing else to go on about that.” The detective cringes in horror at every word that he says. The detective seems more visibly upset over the body mods than he did this morning at the crime scene. “People do this to themselves?” The detective asks once again as though the words are lost on him. “People do all kinds of things to themselves. This is pretty new. Not a lot of people doing this. Most mods serve a purpose such as image or perception. This one in particular is private. Doesn’t serve an overall purpose that we could help us. Even if we tried to tack down where she got it done it would lead to a dead end,” He rationalize out loud. “I just can’t believe,” The detective says as he shakes his head. “There are so many things you can’t believe out there. Not important. There’s nothing here beyond the obvious. No finger prints, no semen, no blunt force trauma, and least of all anything to go on. We can wait for the toxicology report, but unless that comes back with some rare drug we don’t have shit,” He says frustrated. “So, we sit and wait then?” The detective asks. “So it seems,” he responds. The door of the exam room opens and a portly man walks in with a clip board. “Did you get through the whole report?” The examiner asks. “Skimmed through the bullets points,” he tells him. “Any idea why they would choose to drain all her blood through her vagina?” The examiner asks. “What?” He flips through the report once again. “They wiped the area around the vagina clean, but when I was examining for trauma and semen that’s when I noticed something odd. It seems they didn’t want to disturb the outside of her body so they went from within. She had to have been drugged or dosed with something, but there is no needle marks that I could find. So either she swallowed something willingly or she sat there calmly as they mutilated her insides,” the examiner says calmly. “That doesn’t make any sense,” He says puzzled. “Nope, most mutilations like that would have to have some sort of sexual element to them. She wasn’t a virgin, but it has been sometime since she had any type of intercourse. Obviously I can’t pinpoint an exact date, but it hasn’t been any time recent. This has some religious aspect written all over it,” the examiner informs them off handed. He looks at the detective and he rolls his eyes. “I believe that too, but even Jesus went through hell before they placed him on a cross. So what was her crime and why not kill her another way?” He asks the room. “Are you really questioning such a thing?” The lead detective asks. “Whoever did this is obviously sick,” The detective follows up. “Local PD,” the examiner says to him. He nods his head. “What the hell does that mean,” the detective says offended. “Nothing,” the examiner answers. “I wish I could be more help, but this body is clean. Perfect almost except for the inner genitals,” the examiner informs them. “So it wasn’t just one?” He asks. “Not even close. If I had to guess nailing her to the ground wasn’t the first option. I think they may have tried to first shove a stake through her, but it didn’t work out? Not sure. Whatever they put up there wasn’t very big. As I said she hasn’t been penetrated for a while,” the examiner shrugs. “All I know is you two have your work cut out for you.”

“Why her though?” The detective asks me. “Why not her? Is what you should be asking,” I say to him as we look at her body on the metal slab. “Said it yourself earlier. There’s not a girl like her for hundreds of miles in any direction. She is tattooed, pierced up, and most importantly different,” I say to the detective. “So you think because she is different she is a target?” He asks. “If we are to believe the religious nature of this killings and the others that might be connected, then yes.” I walk around the body and try to look at her from another angle. “Hold on, not this again. I’m telling you the killer ain’t Christian. No good Christian could do this,” he says frustrated. I feel as though this is a road block I will never be able to get around until it is too late. “You shouldn’t be even pushing towards this hunch of yours you got going,” he spits on the floor of the examination room, a nice big wad of tobacco and saliva. “I assure you I am not pushing towards the Christian killer or killers. The facts however are. Either the killer is Christian or they are a huge fan of the Bible. Either way we both can agree that they are not receiving the message.” He rolls his eyes, “I ain’t agreeing to shit. I mean who does this?” He points at the victims groin area. “I mean look at these pictures,” he hands me the photos. “What kind of sick freak does this to a lady? Even a lady like her.” I push the photo back, “She did that to herself or she paid to have it done. Cutting slits into the labia has become something of a fade lately. You can see this in that the skin around the slits is already scared over. This tells me that she was passionate about her body modifications and that is about it. Nothing else to go on about that.” He cringes in horror at every word that I say. He seems more visibly upset over the body mods than he did this morning at the crime scene. “People do this to themselves?” He asks once again. “People do all kinds of things to themselves. This is pretty new. Not a lot of people doing this. Most mods serve a purpose such as image or perception. This one in particular is private. Doesn’t serve an overall purpose that we could help us. Even if we tried to tack down where she got it done it would lead to a dead end,” I rationalize out loud. “I just can’t believe,” he says as he shakes his head. “There are so many things you can’t believe out there. Not important. There’s nothing here beyond the obvious. No finger prints, no semen, no blunt force trauma, and least of all anything to go on. We can wait for the toxicology report, but unless that comes back with some rare drug we don’t have shit,” I say frustrated. “So, we sit and wait then?” He asks. “So it seems,” I say. The door of the exam room opens and a portly man walks in with a clip board. “Did you get through the whole report?” He asks. “Skimmed through the bullets points,” I tell him. “Any idea why they would choose to drain all her blood through her vagina?” He asks. “What?” I flip through the report once again. “They wiped the area around the vagina clean, but when I was examining for trauma and semen that’s when I noticed something odd. It seems they didn’t want to disturb the outside of her body so they went from within. She had to have been drugged or dosed with something, but there is no needle marks that I could find. So either she swallowed something willingly or she sat there calmly as they mutilated her insides,” the pathologist say calmly. “That doesn’t make any sense,” I say. “Nope, most mutilations like that would have to have some sort of sexual element to them. She wasn’t a virgin, but it has been sometime since she had any type of intercourse. Obviously I can’t pinpoint an exact date, but it hasn’t been any time recent. This has some religious aspect written all over it,” he informs us. I look at the detective and he rolls his eyes. “I believe that too, but even Jesus went through hell before they placed him on a cross. So what was her crime and why not kill her another way?” I ask them. “Are you really questioning such a thing?” The lead detective asks. “Whoever did this is obviously sick,” he follows up. “Local PD,” the examiner says to me. I nod my head. “What the hell does that mean,” the detective says offended. “Nothing,” the examiner says. “I wish I could be more help, but this body is clean. Perfect almost except for the inner genitals,” he says. “So it wasn’t just one?” I ask. “Not even close. If I had to guess nailing her to the ground wasn’t the first option. I think they may have tried to first shove a stake through her, but it didn’t work out? Not sure. Whatever they put up there wasn’t very big. As I said she hasn’t been penetrated for a while,” he shrugs. “All I know is you two have your work cut out for you.”

End Part 1

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Chewing On Glass Presents… My Nightmare…

She screams as she awakens. She doesn’t know what is wrong, but I do. It happens each and every night since she was born. Always as I reach deep sleep. Always at the exact moment that I believe tonight is the night I will sleep. It is as if she knows and must awaken at this moment. She is in my head. I know because I can feel it. She is only a small child, but I can tell already something is not right about her. Something is off. I can feel that too. She does things that I can’t understand. It must be through her mind like some kind of freak. I gave birth to some sort of freak baby. My womb must be tainted. Was it something I did? I haven’t gotten a single night’s sleep in days or maybe it has been months. I’m losing time because her cries have turned into time. She cries and cries as if she knows that I am suffering. She does it on purpose. I know it because I can feel it. What did I do to be cursed by this demon child? When I check on her she is all smiles. She wears a smile of pure enjoyment. She fooled me in the beginning. Tricked me into thinking one thing when another was happening. She knows what she is doing. I know what she is doing. The little bastard enjoys my pain, enjoys destroying me from the inside. She is the devil playing her little mind games of cat and mouse. I won’t play them no more. She cries hour after hour, but I’m not going to play these games. They told me to let her cry. It is a stage. I believe their lies for too long. Until I figured out the truth. The truth is lord and she is the spawn of something else. What does that make me?

She is only a child I repeat in my head. She is barely able to comprehend sound and light, but already she is conniving. Already she has begun to destroy me. To seek out my death. What does the future hold for me if I don’t get rid of her? A lifetime of pain and suffering. This is only the beginning I remind myself as her cries get louder and louder. Get rid of this madness before it sinks in any deeper? I must get rid of her somehow. Make it look like an accident. Parents take knives to their baby’s cribs all the time right? It just fell in there somehow. She told me that she wanted it officer. Wanted to help me with dinner I could tell them. Have I lost my mind? I can’t just let her cry. I can’t let her suffer even if she is doing the same to me. Tears stream from my eyes as I look over her. Her cries stop and her smile comes back. This is only the beginning. She will only continue to do this for the rest of her life, the rest of mine. I can’t sit back and watch what she will become. More tears fall from my face as I know what I must do.

So, peaceful but it is only a farce. A trick she uses against me to play with my emotions. I stare into her little blue eyes and they stare right back. “What are you plotting?” I scream into her smiling face. She laughs and giggles. Taunting me to do it. She is not a child. She is not my child, but a demon. A perversion of innocence. She is something so far worse. I know it because I can feel it. A mother knows these things. A mother can feel these things. She came from me. No one understands her, knows her like I do, and no one else is suffering like I am. Not my husband, not the neighbors around us. Me and only me. Maybe that’s it. Maybe she is suffering. Projecting her misery on to me. She wants me to end her suffering. I’m not killing her, but helping her. That has to be it I think. A wave of happiness washes over me. A feeling I haven’t felt in months as I rub my finger gently on her soft cheek. “I know what I must do,” I say to her in a soft tone. Her face is consumed by her smile and I know that she knows too. All this time and that is all that it was. What needs to be done must be done. She cries, she screams as soon as I walk away. Walk my way to the kitchen and to the knife block. Could there be any other way to do it? She must want this because it is the only way I can think to get this done. Her mind powers are the only answer. The butcher knife slides right of the knife block and I make my way back to her room. Make my way back to her crib.

The screaming stops once again. Her eyes open wide and full and she smiles at the sight of me. Merrily a distraction I tell myself. Must not let it stop me. What needs to be done needs to be done. I hold the large knife over her little body. Her night light bouncing off the side of the steel. She giggles and reach for the knife raised above her. This has to be done I tell myself. I try to begin to bring the knife down on her. One blow, one quick motion to the chest I plan. The knife stops its decent. My arms stop motionless. Tears flowing down my face. I struggle to drive the knife any further. I can’t move any further despite all my trying. It is like someone is standing behind me holding me back. My shoulders, my elbows, my arms feel as if they will burst as I fight the invisible force. “It has to be done,” I scream into the night. “It has to be done,” I beg the invisible force. “It has to be done.” It is her that is stopping me. Her glowing eyes and demonic smile. I fight her for as long as I can, but I am too weak even for a child. I feel my arm snap against my will and I scream out in agony. Against my own will my right hand grips the knife handle. Somehow she gets me to place the blade at my throat. “Please don’t,” I beg her, but what are words to an infant? She smiles at my suffering. Same as before. Same as always. “It was only an accident. A lapse of faith due to a lack of sleep. I didn’t mean to do this. If you’d just let mommy sleep then I could think straight. I wouldn’t even dream of doing this,” I try to reason with her. The knife press harder against my throat. “I didn’t mean it,” I say one last time. She giggles as the knife gently slides across my throat by my own hand. I should be grateful to die, but I fear what awaits me on the other side. Blood spraying all over her little body with every beat of my heart. I fear what awaits everyone I leave behind. No one will know what is still left to be done. No one is going to know what a mother knows. This child, this demon will grow and more innocent people will die. The feeling in my mind escapes me as everything in front of me begins to slip in and out. Her laughter only growing louder as I black out. “Someone needs to destroy you,” I try to say, but it is too late.

I wake up screaming in my bed. “Someone needs to destroy you,” I hear myself shout. Startling my husband from a dead sleep. My hands fight the nothing that surrounds me until he takes a hold of them. “Suzanne it is only a dream. Wake up,” He says to me. “The baby,” I scream hysterical. “There is no baby,” He screams back at me in shock rather than anger. “Calm down,” he says to me. I try to relax. Think of where I am, but I can’t shake the feeling. “The baby,” I say again. “There is no baby sweetheart. You aren’t even pregnant,” He says as he lets go of my hands. He takes a deep breath, “It was only a nightmare Suzanne.” I rub my bare stomach. “No, it wasn’t. I need to get it out of me before it is too late,” I say calmly. “Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?” He asks me. “Even if it were true. Why in the hell would we get rid of it? As long as we have been trying? There is no way we are getting rid of a miracle baby,” He says to me annoyed. “It needs to be done,” I say staring into his eyes. “This is no miracle. This thing inside me is a curse,” I say to him. “You aren’t even pregnant,” he shouts in frustration. “A mother knows,” I whisper to myself. A mother knows.

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Chewing On Glass Presents… New Year’s Eve…

New Year’s Eve

“You know what the best part about New Year is?” The question hangs in the air. An open wound dripping from her face. “I could give a fuck, you fucking piece of,” she is cut off. Silenced by a dirty finger on her lips. Her own blood and who knows what else. “Now, now it’s best you listen rather than blurt out useless words that hold no meaning. For warning the next time you speak to me like that I’ll cut off something that matters not simply bust you up side your head,” he tells her. A fire burns in her eyes as she snaps her powerful jaws at the dirty finger. Useless attempt to hurt her captor. He doesn’t say a word at her sad attempt to hurt him. With a look of disappointment displayed on his face he plunges the knife in his hand into her leg. Precise he misses anything vital and inflicts a pain that she can only imagine is the beginning of the end. Screaming, crying her pain takes over her emotions. Breaking the tension and the air that he has been trying to create. He grabs her by the back of the head, “I’ll ask you again. Do you know what the best part about the New Year is?” A dirty mix of snot and tears falls from her face as she speaks, “Can you. Can you take the knife out of my leg?” He touches the handle of the knife ever so gently. “There is a long answer here as to why I can’t and I would love to explain it to you, but I’m not really all that interested. So the short answer is no,” he takes his hand off the handle of the knife. “The resolutions,” he announces moving on from her disobedience. “Take last year for example my resolution was to not kill anyone. Worked out for a time, but let’s face it a wolf in sheep’s clothing is still a wolf. Is he not? God you whimper a lot,” he complains. “I can’t help it. My leg hurts so bad,” she cries. He caress her hair, “Sweetie you haven’t even begun to understand the word hurt. Now where is that darling friend of yours?” He grips a handful of hair. “I don’t know,” she says through tears. “Not good enough. I’ve been watching the two of you for a time now. Don’t think I don’t know any and everything about you. Your girlfriend is never late and today of all days she happens to be late? Consistency the world runs on consistency,” he says to her. “I don’t know,” she cries once again. “Please don’t hurt her,” she begs. “Please don’t.”

“So what’s the plan this year?” Her hand is intertwined with hers. “I don’t know really. I was thinking this year we could have a calm night at home. Watch the ball drop or something that normal people do. What do normal people do?” Her girlfriend asks. “What do boring people do?” She rephrases the question. “I have no idea what boring people do. I want to go out. Do something exciting,” she smiles. “I’m sure we can find something to do,” her girlfriend reasons. They stop just outside of her apartment building. They kiss passionately. “I guess I don’t have much time to show you the time of your life,” her girlfriend jokes. “Nope, not really,” she smirks. Her girlfriend lets out a sigh, “I’ll see you tonight then?” She smiles and puts her arms around her, “You better.” They kiss once again before parting. She watches her walk away before entering her building. A man waits in the driver’s seat of the car nearby. Rolling the passenger window up. He waits some more. Waits for the right moment.

“Can’t hurt what isn’t here. So where is she?” He asks impatiently. “She should be here already. She should have been here by now. She is never late,” she tries to reason. He grabs the handle of the knife and moves it ever so slightly. She screams out in agony. “Now there is no reason to lie to me. Lying to me will only bring you pain,” He says calmly. “I didn’t lie,” her tears dripping off her face. “She is never late?” He questions. “Unless you are speaking of a different woman. Then you of all people should know she is always late,” he releases the handle of the knife. “How the fuck long have you been watching me?” she asks. “Long enough to know everything I needed to know. Long enough to know that no one is anywhere to be found. You’d be amazed the amount of information people are willing to give. I mean willing. Not knife in your leg willing, but pretty close. People never shut the fuck up really. They just talk and talk. About anything and everything,” he lectures. “Kind of like now?” She asks. He smiles under the mask, “There we go. That’s the kind of wit that will get you far in this game. Quick. Always be quick. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you.” She looks puzzled, “What is that even supposed to mean? Besides you know one is taking advantage of me.” He pretends to be pondering something. Acting out all the nonverbal expressions hidden behind his mask. He rubs the chin of the mask. “Are you sure?” He asks. “I mean where is she?” He wonders out loud. “I don’t fucking know,” She screams agitated. “Really? Because I think you do. I mean I know I do. But between me and you where do you think she has been spreading her legs lately?” He asks. “You are fucking sick to think that I am going to play along with your stupid little games,” she says in a pissed off tone. “Oh, you are going to play the game,” he says as a matter of fact. “Why the fuck would I give you the satisfaction?” she asks. He reaches for his bag resting next to her chair. His breathe brushing up against the skin of her leg. “I’ve been telling the truth. I have been talking,” she pleads in a panic. He pulls a camera out of his bag, “You seems rather nervous for someone who doesn’t want to play, the fucking game,” he mocks before laughing. He holds the camera out for her to take, “Go ahead take it.” She dead stares into his masked eyes. “My hands are bound,” she reminds him. “Oh, that’s right. You don’t want to see what I’ve got anyways. I mean you don’t want to play the game. You don’t want a chance to live,” he repeats back to her. In one quick motion he pulls the knife out of her leg and presses the blade to her throat. “So what is it going to be?” His voice deep and serious. “Are you going to play the game or am I going to slit your throat and fuck the wound while you slowly bleed out?” Her words are barely audible. Somewhere between a whisper and a cry. “Speak up or forever hold your peace,” he shouts. “I’ll play the game. I’ll play the game,” she shouts each word and each breath pressed against the blade. “Good then let’s begin,” his voice completely different as he takes the blade away from her throat. “How have we already not begun?” she questions as blood seeps from the wound in her leg. He shrugs his shoulders, “Because I make the rules?”

“Your whole life is based on rules. When do I sit? Where do I sit? What are the rules to sitting? Just relax. Go with what feels right. Be yourself,” the woman before her says. “I think you mean what is the proper etiquette to sitting,” she responds back. They both burst out into laughter. “Of course you would focus on that and nothing else I said,” the woman smiles. She puts a puzzled look on her face, “Did you say anything else?” The woman takes her by surprise into her arms, “I could say or not say anything to you, and still find things to not say to you.” She kisses the woman, “Good.” A server walks up to them. “Excuses me ladies your table is ready.” He walks them through the dining room of the restaurant. They take a sit at their table and he hands them their menus. “Your server will be with you shortly. Is there anything I can get you to drink in the mean time?” he asks. They order drinks and he walks away. She looks over the menu. Eyeing something light for tonight. Talking as she reads the menu. The woman keeps taking glances just past her. “I said do you think I should have the salad or the salmon?” she asks again. “What?” The woman asks burning holes into her menu. She glances behind her to see what her girlfriend was looking at. She doesn’t see anything beyond more people eating and drinking. “Did you see someone you know?” She asks. “No, I thought I did. But I didn’t,” the woman says quickly. “Okay,” she says awkwardly. “So should I get the salad or the salmon?” She asks one last time before picking the menu back up. “Which one do you want the most?” The woman ask. “Neither, what I really want is the nachos with extra shit,” she jokes. The woman smiles but even a blind man could see she is somewhere else. “Then get the nachos with the extra shit,” her girlfriend says. She puts the menu back down, “What’s wrong? Where did you go all of a sudden?”

He snaps his fingers in front of her face. “Did I lose you there for a second?” He asks. “If you know where she is. Then where is she?” She asks. “I thought you’d never ask,” he says before closing the knife and putting it in his pocket. “First I have to ask though. Where do you think she is?” He asks while turning on the camera. “I’m not even sure I want to know as much as I think I do,” she says in a low tone. “Well that’s not an answer,” he mocks. “She is probably with some whore right? That’s what you want me to say. That is what you want me to believe. Let me guess you got some photo of some hot bitch with her head between my girlfriend’s legs?” She says through gritted teeth. “I’ve got something better than that,” he moves the camera preview screen just in front of her face. It takes her a second to focus on the tiny image. “That fine looking bitch sure does have a pretty hairy ass,” he jokes. Her face is filled with confusion. “Seems your girl needed a little bit more than you could provide,” he offers as a relief. “She said that was her brother,” she says out loud. He flips the camera preview back so he can look at it, “Nope, that’s not her brother. I have seen her brother. Not in the same night mind you. But even creeping through his apartment in the dead of night. I can tell you that is not her brother,” he says. “You fucking think? Jesus what the fuck,” she screams in agony. “Damn, that really wasn’t the reaction that I was going for. I almost feel something. I almost feel bad, but mostly I feel jealous,” he says tapping the side of the chair with his foot. “What the fuck are you talking about?” She asks. “I mean here I am. I got you strapped to a chair, I put a knife in your leg, and I was already to torture you for hours. I mean hours to get a scream like that out of you, and all I had to do was show you a picture? I really need to up my game,” he says before flipping through the other pictures on the camera. They sit and stand there awkwardly. The sound of the next photo button filling in the silence of the room. “Did you want to see this one where she shoves his whole dick in her mouth? I was able to get a before and after shot. Like going in her face was fine and then taking it to the point of tears. It looks pretty sexy to be honest. I got this other one where she is sitting on his face. Did she sit on your face too or was that more of your thing? Maybe she just needed a new kind of domination? I don’t know how that works really. I’m not going to lie. I don’t know. I’m not good with relationships or human interaction for that matter, but how does that work? One is the man, one is the woman, or you are both women?” He keeps pressing the next button. “What the fuck are you rambling on about? We are both women asshole so, we both play the woman. Is this insanity really part of your sick twisted fantasy?” She asks annoyed. “Not really. I’m kind of torn really. I did all this research and all this planning. I’m not feeling it. I felt it when I stabbed you in the leg. Maybe I need to do that again?” he questions. “You already broke my heart. What difference would it make at this point?” she asks. “That’s it? You just want me to kill you? No passion, no rage, no god damn fear. How am I supposed to work with that? I mean you want me to stab again? That’s really what you want right now?” He asked confused. “Yeah,” she says. “Jesus Christ,” he screams. “We were supposed to get married, she said she loved me, she said that she wanted kids, and it turns out all of it has been a lie from the start,” she thinks out loud. “What do you want to do about it?” He asks. “I want to kill the bitch. Rip her heart right from her chest. Just like she did to me,” she says intensely.

He walks over to her and begins to untie her. “What the hell are you doing?” She asks. “Well you can’t kill her strapped to a chair now can you?” he asks. “I guess not,” she says stretching her arms. The feeling comes rushing back into her hands. They sting like pins and needles as he unties her ankles. “Sorry, about the leg,” he says in an embarrassed tone. She smiles, “I’d like to say it happens, but honestly this is a first for me.” He smiles back under his mask, “This is a first for me too. I usually don’t relate to the victim so much, but for some reason this time I really do.” They sit and stand there awkwardly for a moment. “So are we really doing this?” She asks. He nods his head yes. “So what is the plan then?” she asks. He lets out a large sigh, “I guess drive over to her boyfriend’s place. We might have to take them out of there. Not sure what the visitor situation is over there. He doesn’t have a roommate or anything so, that is pretty convenient. Do you think you have the will power and the strength to stab her? I mean with your leg and all?” He asked genuinely concerned. She looks down at the bloody mess that is her jeans, “It hurts like hell, but I think I can manage. I’m going to have to change my pants before we go though. The adrenaline has to take over at a certain point right?” He takes the knife out of his pocket, “The adrenaline is the best part. The feel and the rush of it all. Here you are going to need this.” She takes the knife into her hand. “Thank you,” she says looking down at the knife. “Hey, no problem. Again sorry about the,” his words are cut off as she rams the knife into his throat. The knife lodged at an awkward angle from his throat to his spine. His knees buckle from the weight of his own body. He falls down to his knees and she catches him. Supports his weight and hers with the one good leg she has left. “I made a resolution last year too. One I failed at until today, but where does it say you have to complete your resolution before the day ends? It doesn’t. Lucky for me or unlucky for me. Depends on how you look at all I guess I’m not as weak as you are. My resolution was to not follow the rules. Go with what feels right. Go with what feels like me. So thank you for helping me complete my New Year’s resolution,” she pulls the knife out in one swift motion. Blood sprays all over her one clean pant leg. The alarm on her phone starts to go off and she lets him fall to the floor. He digs and scratches at the carpet in agony. She walks over to the kitchen counter placing the knife next to the phone. She swipes the alarm off with her bloody finger, “Looks like you ran out of time to complete yours.” She limps her way to the door dialing the police as she does, “This pants are fucking wrecked and there is no way in hell I am getting the deposit back on this apartment. Fucking asshole. Hello.”

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You Will All Have Your Turn…

Addiction

It itches and it burns
It’s cracked and it’s torn
The nails rip flesh from bone
I want more, I want more
I want one more
To live and to die
Living and leaving one vice
At a time
You’re young and it’s new
You’re old and it gets old
The damage is done
But the fun has just begun
To live and to die
Only to sit and wonder why
Do you do this to yourself
Because it itches and it burns
It’s cracked and it’s torn
The nails keep digging
But the addiction just keeps going

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