Chewing On Glass…

Waiting for no reason at all
No energy for anything else
Looking for the purpose to not feel
How I always seem to feel
That nothing but the end means anything
Head smashing against the concrete
Still feel the same. Negative and out of place
Cheering myself on to find the end
Rather than my place in all of this
Blood resting on the concrete
No more will to punish myself any further
Wanted more than this feeling locked in me
Up hill battle fought from within
There’s no winning if I just give in

Filling up the pages slowly…

Word by word
Letter by letter
I’ll say what I want
I’ll say what I mean
Turn away
Only to turn back again
Our whole lives
Been ran over by lies
Word by word
Letter by letter
I’ll say what I want
And you’ll learn in time

I can’t escape this feeling that giving up is just who I am…

Depressed for no reason at all
Riding this wave as far as it will take me
Stole all my moments because I gave them away
Too long to get it all out
Worked my way to the center of nothing
Because nothing ever really changes
The longer we go more of the same
Killing myself wasn’t the goal
But by now I don’t know anymore
By the look of things dreams never fade
They say tomorrow is a day
Only looks like more of the same to me
Another long day that doesn’t want to end
Gave it all I had and ended up with this
Dead limb feeling inside my head

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Depression is fun. I spend most of my days thinking maybe everything would be better if I was dead. Not a question. Then every once and awhile for no reason at all. Nothing in my life has changed in any way. I feel as though I am the god damn greatest being to ever walk the planet earth. If I’m lucky the feeling lasts maybe 24 hours, but most of the time it doesn’t last for very long. Then it is back to wishing I was dead and trying to actually get some writing done. In case anyone was wondering what it is like inside my head most of the time. I’m sure everything is fine.

When you think your story is unique and your experience all your own… You realize just how much it is you really share with everyone else…