Digging Up The Past: Q & A…

It is once again time to play Tell It Like It Is… and for you to find out more about your favorite writer here at Chewing On Glass… part I don’t even know… of a series no one asked for… but I can’t stop now… (If this is your first time… basically I draw three to four random cards with questions on them and I answer them… why?… no one… including me… has the slightest clue…)Now if I can only find the cards…

Question 1: What Is Something That Makes You Feel Sad?

hmm… if I had to only choose one thing… it would be the thought of me not being here… and not watching my daughter grow up… not being there for my daughter as she experiences life is really the saddest thing I can think of… I’m sure anything happening to my daughter would make me sad… something about being human… but not being there to watch her learn how to drive… not being there for the first time she gets her heart broken… not being there to witness her get married to the person she loves… not be there for when she has her own child for the first time… at 55 : ) … not being there when she needs me ever… breaks my heart every time I think of it…

Question 2: How Would You Change The World To Make It Better, If You Had Enough Power?

Who says I don’t have enough power?… I think we all have the power to change the world… little by little each day… the problem is time… we want everything changed now… and history doesn’t work that way… we don’t work that way… we can want all the change in the world… but to actually change anything takes time… which is why I love history and hate it… very aware that was not the question… so what would I change?… you know if I could…

Education comes to mind… but like history… it too takes time to change… what to learn… what we need to learn… I do believe we are very behind on how we learn though… because everything around us is changing at an ever increasing rate… I mean tech we thought was cool not even ten years ago… is basically trash… if we keep up this pace that is… I’d like to see more education about how to live presented in school… not how you should live mind you… but how to live… medical basics… in depth taxes… the stock market… how to make things with your hands… etc… too much of our education is left to this idea… that you will learn as you go… what if you don’t though?…

I feel a lot of our “lost” feelings we carry as humans… is not knowing what else is out there… there is this saying in America and I’m sure everywhere… So and so could cure cancer… there are a lot of variances… which is true… if they are exposed to science… biology… etc… I hate that expression because the real truth is many of us are… fish being screamed at to climb a tree… more time should be spent learning or experiencing what you are good at an earlier age… as opposed to what you are force to be good at for whatever reason… money… options… location… etc…

Now that I have gotten off my high horse… what would I actually change?… long term education… short term… how we handle those of us that need our help… be it mental health… hunger… homelessness or even those of us who have homes barely… our elderly… social justice… I’m not going to go on some long rant about capitalism vs socialism… but this mentality of fuck’em and move on is a negative effect of our society that needs to be fixed… because it is a fine mentality to have when it doesn’t effect you… but the sad truth is that a lot of these issues actually do effect you even if they don’t present themselves to you directly…

The hardest thing any of us can do in this world is ask for help… that goes for each and everyone of us… and maybe I or you can’t help with every problem that is presented to us… but it also doesn’t mean we can’t try our best to do what we can… even if it as simple as lending an ear… that is effort… effort is action… and actions will always speak louder than words… no matter how hard I try to make these words as impactful as I can…

Question 3: What Is Your Favorite Sport And Why Do You Like It?

I used to like American football… because it is war… and like all human’s deep down I like war… except this one is battled out mostly on Sundays… and when it is done… everything round the battle isn’t left in smoldering ash… death and destruction… with that said I no longer watch any sports… or really follow them… just not for me… I get it… but I’m good… everyone has there thing and I happy for those of us who find it in sports…

Question 4: What Gives You “Goose Bumps”?

Anything to do with eye balls or finger nails… never noticed that none of my characters ever have anything happen to either?… and even if I was to include anything about either… the detail would be zero… “His eye was slashed. That’s it. It was slashed and a finger nail broken. Maybe chipped, but mostly broken”… shiver… haha…

Question 5: Describe Your Life At Age 70.

Heroin… lots and lots heroin… lots of any drug really… I’ll be tripping balls… looking for my blue elephant because I forgot where I parked it… me making it to 70 would be a miracle in itself… and I’m going out with a bang… plus at that age a little will go a long fucking way… I’m 70… I’m on a budget… So look out for Crazy Grandpa… the drug fiend writer that was… and if you have my blue elephant… I want it back…

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Has It Been Felt… Broken Thoughts…

So you think you can tell
All the horrible places
These thoughts can dwell
Every corner, under every action
Gave you all the answers
Now I’m just waiting for a reason
To turn this all around

Sympathetic to reasons already written…

So you think the reasons are
Always on the surface
Dig a little deeper and
Tell me what you think then
Can’t see the sky for the ground
Drinking poison to wash it all down
Not all devils dwell underground

Assuming I’d have any idea at all…

So you think you know
All the horrible things you are capable of
That’s cute, born to destroy
These dreams are always more real
Buried under pain, suffering
|Safe inside my arms but my mind
Is a minefield built to bring you down

Following in footsteps made of glass…

So you think the truth lies ahead
All along, buried in words
And not much of anything else
No one escapes the demons of the past
No one said you couldn’t run
Step after step, breath for breath
That’s what I did until I couldn’t

Broken Thoughts
Layne Ambrose

This was a poem… works better this way… perspective is everything… the first view may not always be the best one… always take another look… decided for yourself… because you should know… someone is always willing to do it for you… Enjoy yourself… because someone will be willing to do that too…

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Is That A Funeral? Presents Broken Thoughts Vol. 2

This volume has it all… Short Stories… lots of them… Broken Thoughts… plenty more where that came from… Poetry… because Ambrose just can’t stop… Best of all it is now better tasting*…

Pick Up A Copy Today…

Please don’t eat the books… take our word that it tastes better… Ambrose got very sick… but he did say it tasted better than Vol. 1… more to chew through… paper is not a good source of anything… beyond knowledge and entertainment… please enjoy responsibly… *

For Those Who May Have Never Known…

Some things in this life are worse than fiction… some things are so real that even if I told them word for word as the truth… no one could ever believe… it is best to remember that not every one thinks like you… that not every one has shed their animal natures… and not every one in this world is good… it is easy to forget… it is easy to push out of our minds… what goes on behind our backs… and in the darkness… but not all horrible things happen in the dark…

This post is very different for me… maybe not in content… I tend to talk about things that are on the darker side of life… no this post is different… because unlike most of the things I post about… this poem is not about fiction… or dark thoughts that find their way into my head… I am a firm believer in the thought… that it is one thing to think or have dark thoughts… and a whole other to actually act on them… sticks and stones will break my bones… but words will never hurt me…I took that cliche in my mind and ran with it… built a fiction collection on it…

That is how I think… that is what I believe… but even with my own beliefs held firmly in place… some words… some ideas can be too much to bear… the topic of my poem today is… Sylvia Likens… and my reverse order for my post is because unlike most things I write… I feel context… what I think… How I feel about what happened to Sylvia… Is more important than the work below…

For those of you who don’t know… Sylvia Likens was a child in 1965… who was abused… tortured… raped… and killed… not by a serial killer… not by a known sex offender… not even by her parents… but by those in her community… by the very children she knew… by her very neighbors… there is so much to this story… to the truth of the event… that I can’t and won’t be covering in this post… more about the tragic death of Sylvia Likens can be found here

There have been movies… stories written… about Sylvia and the horrors she has been through… and even if you have read or seen any of them… then you know they only scratched the surface of her horrible experience… She has long been laid to rest… but her memory is not forgotten… Her tale as horrific as it was… should never be forgotten… Because people… children… still experience similar horrors every day… to this day… this is long over due… it needs to stop…

Many of us may have even experienced some… many of the things she was put through… may be even today… right now as we read… we need to put an end to it… we need to open our eyes… our hearts… and our minds… because… just because you don’t see it… doesn’t mean it isn’t happening… just because you don’t have the time… doesn’t mean it isn’t happening… just because it isn’t happening to you… doesn’t mean it isn’t happening… because it does and it is… in our silence… these monsters are slipping through the cracks… as we look away… people are being tortured… children are suffering… this isn’t an isolated incident… this isn’t something that only happens to someone based on skin color… age… where we live… or sex… these are things that can and happen to anyone…

I myself was a victim of abuse… I know how it can feel… I understand the shame… the fear of speaking up… will it happen more?… if I just keep my head down… then it will pass… I’ll be fine… excuses we tell ourselves to survive… Truth is the monster will always live in the dark… until you bring it to the light… I say you… but it takes more… it takes us all… There is no harder thing in this world than to ask for help… no matter the situation… it is the hardest thing any of us will ever face… but if you don’t… if we don’t… no one will…

Many of the signs are easy to overlook… it was a one off… it was an accident… abuse is hard to define… it doesn’t seem like it would be… seems pretty straight forward… but it isn’t… that is why so many people suffer in silence… reach out and get turned down… because of this one way thinking… because we aren’t paying attention… this is how and why… Sylvia was tortured… abused… until she died… It is easy to point at her tortures… her abusers… as the monster… but in this extreme case… the monsters weren’t just the ones in the room with her… but the society that surrounded her… that’s why we need to be paying attention… speaking up… and taking action… big or small… we must do all that we can…

Accidents do happen… people go to far… as a victim I know the signs… if anything good came from my abuse… my experience is that I know when I might go to far… when I am wrong… and need to take a step back… I know how easy it can be to cross that line… I’m not immune because I am a victim… I’ve said things that I regret… almost done things that I know were too far… I’ve seen the look of fear that I know myself once carried on the face of those around me… a look that has brought me to my knees… to tears… and made me question who it is I have become… I’ve seen both sides of the line… I have felt how either side of the line can feel… and just because I didn’t act upon my anger doesn’t mean I too couldn’t be a monster… I’m not a saint… I am human… we all are… and not one of us is perfect… but… there is a difference between an incident of abuse… and a pattern of repeated abuse… neither of which should go unchecked… or be put up with… seen as okay…

I was lucky… as far as my abuse went… as much as the memories still hurt me today… I was lucky… that I ended up in the hospital… that people around me spoke up… and did something… that my mother said enough was enough… a victim herself… not all of us are so lucky… for some of us… we don’t receive any help… until it is too late… Take care of yourselves… Take care of each other… it may seem like nothing… but is it worth the risk?… is it worth the hurt?…

Sylvia Likens

Kicking and screaming
Dragging and bleeding
Taken to the basement
Time to figure things out
Pressed against what’s left of the mattress
Laying naked next to the floor
What did you call me
You called me a whore
Silently screaming
Begging and pleading
Took me to the darkness
Time to figure it out
Strung up by the wrists
Stripped of everything I had left
What did you do to me
You stabbed me some more
Dying and breathing
Scarring and seething
Taken to another level
Time to let the devil out
Burned the words into the flesh
No one would want me
That’s what you said

Makes You Better Than Anything You’ve Tried… Broken Thoughts…

Took a wrong turn into the dark
Lost the time, need to find the way
Opened door that doesn’t seem to want to close
Hidden beneath, locked away
Left so lonely, left all alone
Travelling blind into the unknown
Trapped within my own mind
A horrible way to go on
With no guidance
Lost everything I learned
Who I had become
Lost my way and now
I’m looping in and out of place
And now
I don’t know what I will become
And now
I don’t know what will emerge
From the door when I return

“That sounded like a close call”… My whole life is a close call…

I’m tied to you
I’d drown myself if you’d let me
But I know my love would never
Drag me down, lock and chain
Drag me through, high water to hell
Fade, disappear like the binds
That strap us together
Last through heaven and hell
But I know my love would never
Drag me against, concrete and glass
Drag me through, heaven to earth
I’m tethered to you
For better or worse
But I know our love would never
Drag us down, life and death
Drag us through, violence to pain
I’m tied to you
From now until the end of time
The years tightening against our souls
Until the day we become one
Tied, tethered always yours
For better or worse
Sickness and health
Long walk but never alone

Broken Thoughts
Layne Ambrose

Hit a few nerves inside my brain… shook a couple of tambourines… trying something different is always nice… I’m not a romantic writer… if you didn’t know… I sure most people wouldn’t consider words like tied and tethered… as romantic… but I do… because well… I’m me…

Still working on projects… still burning candles at both ends… trying to get anything off the ground… to spend more time inside… hopefully everything is going well… it is a new year after all… ready to start this one off in a better place… I may be getting to far ahead of myself… taking each day as it comes… it is a long walk… but we are never alone… something to remember… something I want you to know… hope all is well…

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She Knows Way Too Much… Broken Thoughts…

Thought maybe this might end
One too many times
Moments in time as they slip by
A crawling feeling from down inside
Took long enough but not long enough
The words escape what I’d like to say
What was meant to be slips away
Gave it all I had and now this is all
Anyone could hope to be left with
A dying breath left on lips of regret
Always more to do looking back
Never enough time to reflect on thought
Did my part but was it enough?
Will anything ever be enough?
When we don’t know what it is
We are looking for in all of this

A heart… a hole… a destiny I can’t afford…

Tapping the well, draining the lake
I wonder what we’d find at the bottom
Lined with bodies, lined with lies
Metaphoric, a thought buried in the mind
A grave left at sea, a grave yard of thought
The list could be endless in theory
But I think we already know
I think we’ve always known
What lies ahead, below, and above
Not only sky, not only lies
Digging deeper through the tissue
Pulling apart the thoughts as though
We didn’t know how this all began
Truth buried deep within
Truth lining the lake bed of the mind
But I think we already knew
I think we’ve always known
What lies ahead, below, and above
Denial more than a thought unheard
Death has always been
Everything it was intended to be

“When you are in your twenties you see the world on fire and think I have to do something to put it out. The older you get the more you realize the world has always been on fire and it is time that I got mine. The warnings left behind by generations before don’t seem as empty as they once did. They no longer seem like wasted excuses of a failure that has failed. The words around you begin to make some sort of sense. Their actions become shared actions. Wisdom comes in waves. Existence of the fire becomes clearer over time as you see the size of the flames. You learn to understand that you don’t put a fire out by running directly into the center of it. Rather you contain it and take it out slowly from the outside. There is no value in sacrificing yourself for something that won’t end. Was never meant to end. But if you could make it smaller? Well then what have you done then? Have you done your part in all of this or only burned on in the flames as the world has planned for you at your birth? Not all questions have a definitive answer. Something you can’t really understand without the time to really think about. Something you can’t really understand until you get there. That is where I am in this world at the moment. A space between now and then. Some days the spark flares up in me and I want to jump into the belly of the beast, but for the most part I’ve learned to contain my adolescent.”

M.T. Billings, Misguided Ideas of a Misunderstood Threat

Broken Thoughts
Layne Ambrose

Pretty odd place to leave things… honestly I wouldn’t waste my time… or yours… if I didn’t think that it meant something deeper… You have probably never heard of M.T. Billings before… and that is okay… because they don’t have a website… we are working on it… from what I can acquire they are still too busy working on any sort of material… if it sounds like I am being vague… imagine how I feel?… there is still a lot to learn about the mysterious M.T. Billings… see what happens I guess… in the mean time… Is That A Funeral? and I have offered to help them in any way we can…

Speaking of… as we move forward with this great big ball of shit… Is That A Funeral? and I have been discussing taking on more authors… we are looking at different ways to do it… different ways to balance the work load… finally catching up around here… has been nice… but I think we are looking for a new challenge… Using what they have learned from me… we are thinking of starting off pretty slowly… maybe a new feature here or there… know more later… look out 2021… Is That A Funeral? is coming for you… (They asked me to say this… honestly if they weren’t my friends… we are barely friends… but when someone believes in you… can’t really just walk away…)

Enough business for today… let’s get down to some thoughts on nothing at all… the empty void in my head has been throwing around a lot of ideas… where to go next… I think I mentioned this already… the thoughts come back in from time to time… which I think is why what Billings said really struck me enough to feature it… where I am and where I was is a space I am currently stuck in… I have more than enough ideas… just unsure if I want to stay where I am or give something new a chance… doesn’t seem like a big deal… and in the scheme of life it probably isn’t on the surface… but changing things up now would mean a few years of my life invested in something different… but what is a few years on a scared heart?…

It is a scary and exciting feeling… growing and expanding is an important part of life… a necessary part of all of this… it is not as though I will be abandoning everything I have done… the differences for you will probably be so minimal that you won’t even know what the hell I am talking about… I’m ranting and this is where I am in my head… on a cliff… ready to jump… now I just have to do it… and stop thinking about it… easier to say when you’re not chewing on glass…

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If It Doesn’t Kill… Then It Doesn’t Hurt?…

After so many rejections it becomes so much easier to ignore the vultures that come circling around my rotting corpse. Letter after letter. Email after email telling me they wish me well. Words copied and pasted as hollow as my soul. All of this self-mutilation for one person to just be like, “This is alright.” That’s all it takes. At least that is what they say. Who the fuck are, is this they? They never shut up like the voices inside my head. Constantly driving me into the grave.

Overnight is all that it takes and all you need is one semi-interested interest. So, I keep stabbing head. Cutting a piece of myself off little by little until there is nothing left. Then all of sudden, out of nowhere, “We’d love to work with you.” What the hell does that even mean? I’m in the business of cuts, gushing wounds, and scars. I have no prior experience in this kind of reaction. The messages come flooding in. Email after email the tides begin to change. Then the calls start coming in. “How the fuck did you get this number?” All of a sudden you are all there is. All there will ever be.

They say success goes to our heads. Not true. It is fucking bitterness. “Oh, now I’m something?” I want to scream. I want to beat the phone against the desk. “Last week I wasn’t much of anything. Last year when I was practically begging, hanging on by a lifeline, and unfortunately I wasn’t a good fit for Flowers Monthly. Now all of a sudden I am something?” It only takes one, but a thousand submissions later everyone can fuck off.

It isn’t success it is bitterness to the whole process that pushes everything along. Do you think after this sea of rejection you will be receiving anything of actual value? I mean I’m so special all of a sudden? Well here is the material I wouldn’t even put in my book. Here is the stuff I dug out of the trash after I wiped my ass with it. Keep everything. Sold out you say or getting even? Depends on what side of the screen you live on. An asshole or apathetic is up to you to decide. I have moved on. I have accepted that the vultures will take whatever of me is left. I sold my soul and I’m even more proud to admit that I don’t care. Check out my newest piece in Flowers Monthly, and don’t forget to like and subscribe. Food isn’t free and electricity isn’t cheap.

Rejection is never fun… you get used to it… I think… I’m used to it at this point… the hardest part of not writing about… like… for everyone else… is that you will face a lot of rejection… at least that is what my mom says… haha… So what do you do then?… After the bottom falls out once again?… After everything in you feels as though it has died once again?…

Well you get back up and do it again… I mean what else did we have to do today?.. Failure only happens when you give up… so I move the rejections to the rejections folder in my Gmail… and fire off another round of submissions… This business isn’t for the faint of heart… it isn’t for those who are willing to cave at the slightest resistance… creativity is a never ending battle with yourself and everyone around you… it isn’t bloody… and it always hurts… but don’t let it kill the dream left inside… I’m not going to give up and neither should you… and when you get there… don’t forget about the ones that got you there…

Thank you for all your support… every little bit helps… every like… review… comment… purchase… shout out… and even every negative response… We don’t do anything alone…

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Huffing Glass 102… Titles And How They Can Mean So Many Things…

Seeing how there aren’t actually classes going on… or maybe there are… I have no idea what to expect when nothing is to be expected… 2020 anyone?… has all infected us all… even if you live under a rock like me… going to be honest because what else do I have to offer this world?… I do not remember the format for this type of post… Huffing Glass 101… you can use a search engine… I could too but where is the fun in that?… What I do remember… well what I wrote in my notes… is that today’s… lesson?… discussion?… would be about Titles… obviously not about grammar… Thank God or I’d have to issue refunds for this class… But enough small talk… let’s get into this…

Titles… I love them… possibly my favorite part of writing… wait don’t you write short stories… long ass poems… and most of your website is filled with Broken Thoughts?… Well yeah… but they all have to be titled none the less… for most writers… honestly I don’t know… for most of us… titles don’t come first… for me they do… I get hyped by the title… just as I hope you do… the title reels me in the same way it is meant to reel in everyone else around me… Of course like all things in writing… titles evolve over time… Many of my titles start very long… for instance… my first short story collection is called… Drinking Bleach to Stay Alive… but now I just call it Drinking Bleach… Oddly enough now that I think about it… A Lie… has always been A Lie… I never had more than that…

But what is so important about a title to me?… Why do I spend so much time on something that will only be read and referenced over and over again?… I actually don’t spend that much time on them… most of them are spur of the moment… and that moment leads me to writing a story or concept behind them… that sounds great… now lets go… This is the case most of the time… sometimes I have no idea what the title will be until the last second… usually that involves poems though… Long form stories… I usually come up with a title and then build a concept from there…

My most recent book… Teething On Concrete… was written like this… kind of… granted it is a poem collection so the poems were written in advance… for the most part… nothing is finished until it makes it into the book though… and during the editing process for Concrete… I did tailor the poems to fit this new concept… Originally the book was to be called Black Cloud Rising… before that though it was Fell On Dark Days… for obvious reason I chose to do neither title… but for over a year that was the concept of the book… based on those titles… The only reason any of it changed was because I became obsessed with the title Teething On Concrete

It is dark… check… it is weird… check… it conveys a thought in my head… sold… Teething On Concrete… is more than just three words… it is a concept… it conveys… that something is going on… How does someone find themselves teething on concrete?… Why would someone even do that?… Think that?… Have to read the book to find out… There is more to it then that of course… because that is how writing and life works… but that is the main point of what a title does for me… it guides me to a certain goal… My next two projects will do the same…

My next novel is titled Fuck… I Hate It Here or I Hate It Here… (I’m sure that sentence was confusing with the ellipse in the title… but everything has to start somewhere…) Yeah… eight years into a book… I’m still not sure what the title will finally be… You can guess which one I prefer… but it isn’t testing well around the office… It also wasn’t the first title I came up with either… No… originally it was going to be titled… Chewing On Glass… but it didn’t fit the concept of the book I wanted to create… well it did in the beginning but as things progressed during the first round of concepts… it wasn’t the direction I wanted to go… In case you are interested I’m on concept three for this fucking book… but that is a rant for another time…

Basically titles are fun… should be fun… they should make you want to read the story as much as they should make anyone else want to read your story… in my opinion… I personally can’t pass up a good title… seriously I will buy a book based on title alone… Tortured For Christ… I’m a sad desperate person like that… I love me some titles… They say don’t judge a book by its cover… and I don’t… but I can’t pass up some well thought out words burned across it…

So what are some of my favorite titles that I didn’t come up with but I wish I did?… Well thanks for asking…

As I Lay Dying by William FaulknerQuite possibly the best title for any book ever… also the only book by Faulkner that I have actually gotten through… and enjoyed… Also one of the first books I decided to read that wasn’t pushed on to me by school or an institution…

Though to be fair… I thought it would make an amazing band name… turns out I was right… So I had to read it to see if it was worth naming my band after because of course the press was going to ask me questions about it… yeah… young Ambrose was a dreamer… still is… this was all before I found out that a band already took the name and ran with it… I was pretty bummed when I found out…

I can’t say that I love this book though… the story isn’t for me… good or bad is up to you… what I did take way from this book though… was the concept… to this day this book is one of the first bricks laid in me that I want to be a writer… so again good or bad is up for debate… it is pretty crazy the way we get here… but it doesn’t matter as long as we get here I guess…

Last Exit To Brooklyn by Hubert Selby Jr.Not what I thought it was going to be at all… so much more than a simple title… not for the faint of heart… but a masterpiece all the same… I enjoy the basic title against the complexity of the stories… This title has influenced me to think outside of the most obvious titles… or that a book’s title can mean more about what the book is about than the stories themselves… A title is much like the bassist in a band… it must play along with the rest of the band… but it needs to be its own thing as well…

Astro-Creep: 2000 – Songs of Love, Destruction and Other Synthetic Delusions of the Electric Head by White ZombieMixing it up here… not a book of course… but an influence title none the less… This title doesn’t jump off the page… there is a lot going on here… and that is what I like about it… Rob Zombie does this often… just about every album and I find myself doing the same thing…

In closing titles can mean a lot of things… they can influence the way you read a story… they can grab you from out of nowhere… they can drive you to write a whole book… titles are where it is at… and this has been more than enough glass to huff for today…

What are some of your favorite titles?… What does a title do for you?…

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Something Different… Already?… Q & A…

It is time for some of that good old fashion fun… I know… I know… I’m not sure what it means either… but I’m told that it will be… well fun… Let The Ungame BeginFire It Up… don’t actually bring flames any where near this game… because it is mostly paper… if it came with game tokens… or even rules… well we lost those a long time ago… seriously this game is old… not ancient old… but it isn’t getting any younger… The Ungame Begins... Lightning Edition

Question 1: If You Were Told You Only Have One Week To Live… How Would You Spend It?

Without pants… next…

Question 2: What Do You Think Your Friends Say About You When You’re Not Around?

Probably the same things they say to my face… that I’m an asshole… next…

Question 3: Say Something About Policemen

They can be found in many form… one of which is as a woman… this game is super old… borderline ancient… next…

Question 4: If You Could Become Invisible Where Would You Like To Go?

If I told you… what would be the thrill of being invisible?.. everywhere… next…

Question 5: Remember – No Talking Unless It’s Your Turn! Take Another Card.

Literally sitting here in silence… that’s a creepy thought… working hard to earn that “dark” tag…

Question 6: What Would You Do If You Found $1,000 In A Vacant Lot?

Burn it… never hold on to evidence… next…

Question 7: How Do You Feel When Someone Laughs At You?

That being a stand up comedian… could be more than just a fantasy… next…

Question 8: What Is The Most Sentimental Possession That You Have?

My wife… next…

Question 9: What Would You Like To Do To Become Famous?

I decided last month… to make candles… this is just a side gig until it takes off… name one famous candle maker… now I just have to make candles… next…

Question 10: What Is Your Favorite Song?

You can only name one?… like out of all of them in the world?… what kind of bull shit made up question is this?… if there was a customer service number to call right now… Pick one song?… that simple?… why don’t you pick just one song game?… oh that’s right… it’s not your turn so you can’t speak… pick one song… I’ve never been so triggered… offended… confused… emotions… brain is firing on emotions right now… not pick a band and their best song… as if that is a simple task… no… pick a song…

Introducing our new segment… Ambrose’s Favorite Song… just fucking with you… no one has the time… however… let me know what your favorite song is in the comments… and I will tell you if it is good or not… also feel free to answer any of the above questions…

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Bukowski by Modest Mouse… if you know me… you can guess why…


That New Smell Of Dead Things… Broken Thoughts…

Took in everything that you said
Thought about what it was
And tried to not end up dead
Now I’m hanging by a razor blade
Hanging on by a nail
Swinging to the sound of
The words that were said
The thoughts that meant so much
Then and not so much now
As I watch it all die
Swaying in the wind
Because I’m hanging by a razor blade
Hanging on by a nail
Swinging to the sound of
Everything that’s to be said
About the feelings in my head

Took away… taking all of this… what was I left with?…

Speaking of a way to take this all away
Reciting all the ways you mean so much to me
Can’t tell the difference as the lines
Begin to blur between death and matrimony
Gave everything else a chance
What’s one more day without rest
Burning this candle from end to end
With a can of gasoline and a few matches
Here we go again with the woe is me
Digging the glass in deeper
I can’t help but to adjust to my new smile
Because some days can feel like the last
Nothing can take a way a feeling buried inside
Guess I’ll see you on the other side
A haunting sort of apparition standing over your grave
Some things are just fated to be
Like your love for me
Sunk my teeth in and now I’ll never go
Chasing death with the strength of love
Digging a grave from the friction of my feet
Because some things are just fated to be
No matter how hard we try to secede
Expect that death always had a plan for me

Well it is hard to see… with your head up your ass…

Drain the blood
For what it’s worth
A vampire with no regrets
Is like a zombie without a place to be
Took more than anyone has
To let you know
I’m not dead
Inside, outside, above ground or not
Sucking the life out of every moment
Took it for all it was worth
An appendage without a purpose
Is like a life without a place to go

Broken Thoughts
Layne Ambrose

Can we be honest?… Let’s be honest… that last thought was pretty much trash… but for some reason I really like it… not even in a settling kind of way… there is maybe like two solid lines that would be great for thought breaks… but I couldn’t bring myself to pull them away from the thought…

If you agree know that this isn’t a sign of things to be… if you disagree know that this isn’t a sign of things to be… I don’t remember writing it… but decoding my thought… I can tell I just wanted to use vampires… zombies… and appendages in something… also the best line is easily… “Sucking the life out of every moment”… there I said it… if we are being honest with ourselves…

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New Short Stories…
Found Nowhere Else…
New Broken Thoughts…

Found Here First…
A Great Addition to Any Collection…

Thank You All For Your Continued Support

Waiting For You Down Here… Broken Thoughts…

Held my head down in the water too long
A foggy, thickness that made no sense
Nothing gets in below the surface
Hollowed out existence
Submerged below everything around me
Thought it was you, knew it was only me
Pulling the reigns, tying the noose
Could say I was suffering but I was
Only living in a world of my own creation
Could say anything meant more than it did
Because it didn’t held so far under the waves

I’m just trying to stay calm in a world that doesn’t know what that means…

Held my face too close to the flames
A burning, suffocation that made no sense
Nothing gets to me beyond the screams
Suffering out existence
Engulfed by everything around me
Thought it was you, knew it was only me
Nailed in place, lighting the flames
Could say I was suffering but I was
Only living in a world of my own creation
Could say anything meant more than it did
Because it didn’t burning on the stake

Order and chaos… chaos and order… never stops breeding…

Held my face too close to the ground
A familiar, emptiness that makes no sense
Nothing gets to me down here
Sleeping off existence
Surrounded by everything around me
Thought it was you, knew it was only me
Laying in place, succumbing to fate
Could say I was suffering but I was
Only living in a world of my own creation
Could say anything meant more than it did
Because it didn’t burying myself under all these feelings

Broken Thoughts
Layne Ambrose

I guess this could have been a poem… started off as a Broken Thought… that became something more… influenced heavily by my next poem book…Teething on Concrete… which may or may not be out by now… I’m never sure what it is I am doing… I’m a very focused… and somehow unfocused person… maybe it comes from only sleeping a few hours at a time… maybe I have always been this way… maybe I’m broken in some way… Anything is possible and here we are…

Pretty boring here at the moment… working on working on more work… so work on top of work… trying to get some stuff done… so I can move on… and work on more stuff?… Does it ever end?… I’m sure it will one day… not looking forward to that day though… deep breath… life is something else…

Stay safe… and create everything… I’ll be waiting for you down here…

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The Collection Continues…
On Kindle and Paperback
Even More Stories…

Strangers To Ourselves
My Nightmare
More Thoughts…

Broken
Demented
More of Everything You’d Expect…
From The Twisted Mind Of Layne Ambrose…

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