Chewing On Glass…

Floating in place
Wondering why I haven’t died yet
Am I in hell or
Is this just the way life has gone
Willfully pretending everything
Is fine… has run its course
Zeroing in on something stuck in my head
Loneliness a sickness
Starting over something even worse
Told myself I wouldn’t
Remembering I’ve never said such a thing
This was never going to end
A theory explained to me once
If only I was listening
The words are only a reflection
Of a time that has gone by
Confusion sets in
How I feel and how I’ve felt
With endless room to run
I’ll be right here until the end
Floating in place
Wondering why I’ll only do it again
I’ve given up because
A God’s song is never done

We are the cause of so much pain…

Picking at the skin
It only bleeds for so long
Until I need more
Anxiety taking over
What am I so scared of?
Anxiety sinking in
What is it I’m so scared of?
Living in this skin
Digging at the core
Trying to get out
The things that make me
Less like the self I feel inside
Can’t take no more
My methods are not working
Depression taking a hold
What am I so sad for?
Depression settling in
What is it I’m so sad for?
Picking at the skin
It only bleeds for so long
Before I need more
Need another escape
To push it away

Silently suffering to the noises in my head…

And I thought to myself
How am I going to do this again
Dissection, manipulation, amputation
Blood resting against the walls
Fingernails trapped in a jar
Getting closer to a sense of perfection
A significant sign of something better
Wanted more than when I began
Dissection, manipulation, amputation
Erasing me from this world
Tell them how much I hurt
A sacrifice to understand this need
Dissection, manipulation, amputation
Pieces of my heart left to burn
Freeing the confusion from the soul
Tell me again how much I hurt
Dissection, manipulation, amputation
Thoughts consuming
Words the meant so much more before
Explain to me again with some reason
Tell me how much of this is hurting you
Tell me please how much I should be hurting
To prove I’m giving enough for you
My words falling on deaf ears
Dissection, manipulation, amputation
This was never about me
This has only ever been about you
And what you can take from me

For the record I am doing fine… and I have no idea why these Broken Thoughts have been so long lately… Defeats the purpose of the premise… but at least they are pretty good… I mean they are from this side of the screen…

That last thought was supposed to be a song I was working on… but I’m not a musician… so I took out the repetitive lines and cleaned it up to make sense… there was a whole thing I was going to do with samples and sounds to fill in some of the words… It was a whole vibe thing… that I have long since forgotten…

The thought was inspired by my friend Tara… the attempt to write a song… not the premise of the actual thought… She is too cool to inspire such dark thoughts… you should check her out… if you don’t already know her already… https://taracaribou.com/

Despite what you may have heard… we have books for sale and not held hostage over at Amazon… Either way the ransom is rather affordable… We aren’t real big dreamers over here at Is That A Funeral?…

Pro tip… if you layer the cardboard… say around four or five layers thick rather than two or three… You should be able to stretch the life of your shelter for an extra day or two… depending on the weather… Also news paper makes for a great insulator in a pinch… Unfortunately everyone’s switching to digital… Which we also have if that is your thing… Over at Amazon…

Like I said… I am doing fine… Click around… leave a comment… be yourself… and remember to have a good time… Hope all is well…