Chewing On Glass…

Not Everything Is Going To Be A Mess… But We Can Try…

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chewingonglass

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Leaving a record of the things I thought
Believing I was dying the theme becomes clear
Had I known the truth… I’d done the same
Born to be me inside… Same idea new equation
I’d ask for forgiveness, but we’re not born
To believe in such a simple concept as this
Drug that cross as far as I could… Truth be told
We get everything that comes for us
If you really stop to think about it long enough
Hurts I know… The nature of playing God
Remember we didn’t write the rules…
Don’t even know what they were to begin with
You think if I did? I’d waste time talking to you?
We’re on the same sinking ship… Together screaming
“Who’s the fucking captain?”
Leaving behind a record of things we thought
Others like us should probably know… Right or wrong
If you could believe the truth… Wouldn’t change anything
Born to fail… From birth to death everything wants our heads
We’re all the same idea in a new equation
And so far it ain’t adding up the way we envisioned…

Well… the good news is… the world doesn’t run on how I feel…

Really going for it this time
Right into the ground
How does it differ
From falling at all
I don’t know either
Sure does save some time
Failing before anyone notices
Giving up before there’s a chance
Has to be easier than trying
What’s the point if it isn’t?
Really going for it this time
Walking away before the idea sets in
Accepting failure before the regret
Wasted effort?
Misguided sense of genius?
Well, now you’re just full of shit

I’m not entirely sure you know what you want…

Tired of living like I’m dead
I want to live like I’m dying
For a change… if that’s ok
Except I don’t know how to live
Born with this feeling inside my head
That this is only how it is
Can’t change what already is… right?
Embracing the feeling isn’t any better
Fighting it is only making it worse
Day by day I’m only dying inside
Night after night I’m only trying to live
I guess that is the same…
If there was an end to this
I know I’ve always been waiting for it
And that’s just how it is meant to be… cool

Broken Thoughts

Merch
Visuals
Books
Media
Thoughts

Feeling pretty playful… Does anyone else say things out loud around their phone to test if anyone might be listening?… Sylvia and I like to do this… usually around dinner… and lackluster days… We play a darker version than most people though…

We like to do several versions… There is the very descriptive version of getting rid of a body… this one requires some acting and for every body present to trust that you are not describing their actual future murder… Very important detail… and best to leave a few details out… Just in case…

“You need to cut away the fat. No, not like that. You want to be one with the knife. You really want to feel the weight of it in your hand. There you go. You are getting better. Just throw the rest of that in the trash it’s not like they mattered before. Trust me. No one is going to miss them.”

My personal favorite is too pick a topic… like lets say Stalin or someone like that… maybe even someone or some where a little more closer to our time… and just get real into it…

“I don’t think he killed enough people. Honestly if we want to make America Great Again 3 or 4 million are just going to have to go away. Who wants to eat all the time, really? We need a little fear from day to day. In my opinion, opinions are highly over rated. If anything people say too much about how they feel already.”

If that makes you uncomfortable… good… But know it is all in jest and laced with a ton of satire… You can also workshop such topics as… starting your own cult… mental illness… woman’s rights… Honestly there is a lot of hot button issues to really deep dive into for no reason at all…

Life is about perspective… Just don’t play the game too hard… Because that shit is being recorded and staying warm for a rainy day… Such is the true power of information… Not that anybody is listening… haha… yeah ok…

5 responses to “Not Everything Is Going To Be A Mess… But We Can Try…”

  1. tara caribou Avatar
    tara caribou

    Sometimes I do that too… but only around other people’s phones because I have most everything turned off of my phone (so it doesn’t work to talk and have things show up) but it sure does on other’s phones 🤣🤣 I also keep my phone in airplane mode or off when I’m not on it plus my cameras covered by tape. I’m one of THOSE people. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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    1. chewingonglass Avatar
      chewingonglass

      haha… that’s awesome… I don’t go that far… but with the way everything around us is taking a little piece of us each and every day… I don’t blame you for going to that level… I still can’t believe how much we are “worth” based on all these little things that if you asked me are pretty worthless…

      Companies are paying top dollar to access nail biting information… like the fact that I like chickens and think they are pretty cool… Those ads weren’t so bad because I do like chickens and think they are pretty cool… but I’m not sure they were worth the prices they paid to show me they have chickens for sale at the Tractor Farm Store or where ever it was…

      I will say I might need to adopt some of your practices… I’m jealous of your lack of screen time… As much as I try to deny it… I’m pretty addicted to my phone in the worst way… I do spend a lot of time searching things and “learning”… But I spend and equal amount of time watching nothing at all… searching for more nothing to watch… It is pretty sad in the worst of ways… As extreme as your practices may sound out loud they aren’t… they are rather smart…

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      1. tara caribou Avatar
        tara caribou

        I do research a lot as well. Before the internet was scrubbed, back in the early 2000s into the next decade I researched online a LOT (at least when I wasn’t living off-grid). Reading, reading, reading. Watching YouTube since that was really before most of the social media existed. FB just getting a start of course. And plenty of actually good bloggers. Now I suppose the hip term is “truthers” and whatnot.

        Nowadays… I’m very much back into reading and researching via actual print books again. The internet being scrubbed and so much unreliable sources. Plus the radiation from the phones is a bit much. It’s all so tiring (lol). But yeah… I’m pretty sure I spend way too much time on my phone and on the internet.

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      2. chewingonglass Avatar
        chewingonglass

        To be fair it is hard not too spend too much time on the internet anymore… You are right though there is an insane amount of unreliable sources and miss information out there… Then there is the fact that there has always been an insane amount of miss information out there… Facts are hard to separate from our opinions… Our hunger for a great story surpasses our need for something to be true… A great example is the recent tragedy of the bridge in Maryland…

        It is clearly noticeable that the power on the ship goes out not once, but multiple times before slamming into the bridge… It is also a known fact that all cargo ships… along with nearly every other vessel relies on their electronics rather than manual controls… right or wrong that is the way it is… I’m sure they save a boat load of cash on training… factor in the that it is the middle of the night… so the main captain is most likely asleep… have you seen Titanic?… factor in the unimaginable idea that a machine of any capacity could possibly fail… shocking I know… everything I own works without fail every time… and a perfect storm of ahh fuck happens…

        Yet the internet is ablaze with theories of how it was an inside job… Something foul is a foot… When all anyone from the media down to us has to ask one simple question… Why?… What master plan is hinging on a random bridge in Maryland?… There isn’t one… and even if there was… Who does it effect?… People in Maryland… Most of the people pretending to be so concerned probably couldn’t find Maryland on a map until recently…

        The focus for the rest of us should have be on the fact that people are missing and not the possible theories of opinions… But where is the story in that for us?… How does missing people feed my hunger to be entertained?… It doesn’t… Missing people isn’t going to stretch this story until the end of the week… So we pump it full of opinions to increase the clicks and the likes… And this is only a microcosm of what I even mean… There is an insane amount of miss information out there… fueled by our own hunger for something more… That passions not going anywhere no matter how much they censor us… scrub us… shield us from the topic at hand… We will find a way to taint the facts…

        The truth is that no matter who you trust… what you trust… you have to put in the work to weed out the opinions… unreliable sources… and miss information… to understand what is really going on… Doing anything less only proves how little you actually care about the subject at hand… That is the way it has always been and there is no speeding up that process as much as we would like there to be… The real question is who do you trust when we are all doing this?…

        And that is why I stick to writing fiction and keeping to myself for the most part… That and I have discovered that I don’t really care as much as I thought I did about much of anything… I think that might have something to do with growing older… but I have no real concrete way of proving my theory on that… I’m done ranting for the day… I hope all is well and that your day is everything you want it to be…

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  2. tara caribou Avatar
    tara caribou

    I think it’s important to ask questions and not believe any narrative at face value… but it’s also a very slippery slope and easy to become mired in it to the point of utter cynicism and no trust in humanity. Sure, there are lots of nut-jobs and weirdos and people have an agenda… but that doesn’t mean throw the baby out with the bath water, as they say…. There’s still good people. There’s still kindness and love and compassion… even if it seems rare, it’s there. I say we embrace those things, but stay smart about who we trust as well.

    Hugs to you, my friend! My day is just ending here around 1:30am and I’m winding down for the night. The house bunny is kicking his heels up and being quite silly, as he does this time of night. It’s quite cute and makes me laugh.

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