Chewing On Glass…

It wasn’t like anyone was paying attention
Before… before all of this
Could have been something more
The screams at least then made sense
Before all of this moaning and whining
Brought me to this floor of despair
I wanted so much more than this
All I wanted was everything to come to me
Possessed by an evil that I don’t understand
Possessed by this demon that can’t forget
It doesn’t take long for it all to get away from me
A house of discarded cards stacked upon a grave
A hopelessness I’m lucky enough to call home
Before… before all of this gave away to nothing
I was more content than I thought I was

Feeling trapped from within all over again…

Look for me amongst the trees
My body swinging at the knees
Hesitation standing in the fog
The nights grow long
And the days go on
Look for me at the bottom of the river
My head sticking out of the water
Hesitation wondering what’s going on
The nights grow long
And the days go on
Couldn’t bring myself to do it
My time spent think about other things
Hesitation sitting around
The nights growing longer
And the days going on

Empty feelings and profound regret… Define me…

I’m sure if you could find the devil
I know you could find the devil in me
Occupied, living a lie, living so many lives
Occupied, living a life, living so many lies
Searching for a ghost in the dark
I know you will find what you like
Occupied, living a lie, living so many lives
Occupied, living a life, living so many lies
I’m sure if you could find Christ
I know you could find Christ in me
Occupied, living a lie, living so many lives
Occupied, living a life, living so many lies
Searching for a soul in the dark
I know you can find the one you’d like
Occupied, living a lie, living so many lives
Occupied, living a life, living so many lies
Searching for a meaning in the dark
Wrong or right you’ll find something to fight
Wrong or right you’ll find something inside
Wrong or right
You’ll find a light to guide you through the night
The devil, you, Christ, or a figure in the light
Only to realize it has been you you’ve despised
Occupied while living a lie
Occupied while living a life
Living so many lives under so many lies

Head feels like it is being smothered under two tons of bricks… Don’t feel like doing any of this… Not sure what I should be doing… Just know I should be doing something and the pressure is getting to me… an invisible hand holding me down… My own thoughts and concerns choking me from within… There’s no point in mentioning any of this… Going to feel this way whether I do or don’t…