Chewing On Glass…

Told myself I wouldn’t
But I can’t. I can’t stop thinking
About all the reasons
The excuse was less than I needed
Blood runs thick if you let it
What I once needed was you
Could you ever say the same
Could you admit that all of this hurts?
I don’t think… think that you could
The words lost so long ago
Replaced with anger and rage
Trapped in the past behind history
Life moves on with or without me
Told myself I wouldn’t any more
But it seems I can’t. I can’t help it
Thoughts of you dragging me under
The memories were less than I needed
Blood runs thick if you let it
What I thought I needed was you
Tables turn and I wonder if you
If you feel like I always do?
If the hurt plagues your mind
I’m sure by now… I know it has to
The love lost so long ago
Replaced by hurt and abandonment
History has a way of catching up
If you stop long enough to let it
Told myself I wouldn’t let this
Get to me any more, but I can’t.
I can’t seem to break these memories
Blood runs thick if you let it
I’ve let it run for far too long
With these thoughts hidden in the dark
These thoughts that you’d ever come back
What I thought I needed was all wrong
Answers to questions resting in me
Did it ever matter how I felt?
Did it ever matter… the hurt you caused?
I don’t think… think that it does
The pain finally washes away after so long
Replaced with forgiveness and empathy
No longer trapped in thoughts that don’t matter
A broken history… dwelling on useless thoughts
Told myself that I wouldn’t
So I know that I shouldn’t
Let your actions define who I am any longer

This one is pretty personal… I won’t be going into all the details… This for me is about my father… Unfortunately I think a lot of these feelings are universal… and to that I say…

Everything is going to be okay… The pain that you feel is real… but it will fade… All you need to know is that it is not your fault… and all you really need to do… is to be sure you never do the same… Just because they walked away… doesn’t mean you are destined to do it too…

Took me a long time to come to terms with that… and my hope is that it doesn’t take you nearly as long… We are not those that have been left behind… We are those that have survived what we have been through…