Chewing On Glass…

Freeing up space isn’t working out as planned
The walls are closing in and the floor
Is already covered in shit
Some say the best laid plans are
For somebody else
But I never liked listening to others much
Not these days or even last week for that matter
Living in my head defeats the purpose
Of ever leaving this place any time soon
The walls they’re closing in and the floor
Is piling up with even more shit
Taking up what is left of the empty space
With even more things I don’t think I need
The weight is weighing down my dying heart
Something about this fits in the same vein
Of a problematic war between two different sides
I could explain but first I’d have to know what it means
Spent a lifetime already trying to clear some space
Cleaning out the things that are doing this to me
But it was only me from the beginning
Pulling the walls closer and shitting on the floor

“I was just sad and sometimes the sadness just doesn’t go away.”

Avoiding the only things I have left
Not sure how it is my brain works
If it works at all… this isn’t working
To solve anything that lays in my way
Drowning seems so much easier
With two feet planted on the ground
Dying seems so much easier
When my head in these clouds
Avoiding the only things I have left
Not sure if it is doing me any good
To feel this good about anything
Surviving seems so much easier
With my lungs submerged under water
Living seems so much easier
When my heart is resting on the floor

Told myself I don’t so… I know I don’t care…

The words are sinking into torturous things to say
Breaking up the memories of what there is to say
The days begin to fade away and somehow remain
The same… feeling tired as this time moves on
It doesn’t make a difference to me inside
Lost too much already… to feel any different about this
Gave it all away… lost too much already for this
Wanted more and I got what I gave
Wanted a home and instead I built a grave
A solitary place to lay my lonely bones

Don’t you remember?… Because I can’t seem to forget… what it feels like to not remember these things I’ve written a while ago… The idea behind waves I suppose… they pull away only to come back again…

Don’t you remember?… Because I can’t seem to forget… that I don’t always feel this way… but when I do… it does feel pretty damn bad… Not sleeping isn’t helping the situation… The nature behind working overnights… the day disappears only to come back again…

Working hard isn’t always everything it is cracked up to be… Pushing ahead doesn’t always get you where you want to be… Pretty sure that is the theory behind not knowing what lies beyond the river bend… Wish there was an easier way of knowing… but then if I did… I know that I probably wouldn’t go…

Don’t you remember?… Second guessing everything in your head… Yeah… every damn day… and still somehow it all remains the same… still somehow I’ve managed to get just about everything I ever wanted… Remembering isn’t so much about forgetting as it is about moving forward past the things holding you back… What that means?… First I’d have to know what it is that I asked…

Hope all is well…