Fear Of Failure Is All I’ve Started…

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Running low on the things we know
Getting hard to tell what’s left in my head
Not necessarily feeling like I’m dead
More or less I think I just don’t know
The longer this goes the more doubt I have
If this is it then I’m doing pretty good
If there’s more I probably shouldn’t know
Life has been pretty easy on my up to this point
Give or take the couple of little things
That have developed into me over time
Not necessarily feeling like I’m dead
More or less I think I’m just unsure
Where any of this is supposed to go

I got to stop getting depressed…

It hasn’t come up in a while
Been too busy trying to live my life
Too distracted to takt the time
Nothings going to change unless I let it
More in control than I give myself credit for
Holding back is only closing doors
Am I who I want to be or someone else?
One voice isn’t enough to decide the outcome
A singular voice can’t determine the rest
Be more like myself than everyone else
I remind myself between the pauses
Being like them for so long has left me
Feeling dead for far too long…

At the very least I need to stop writing it all down…

Therapy isn’t working out like it’s meant to
This whole isolation thing isn’t helping
Was told I was too social so what does that make you
Your love is a molestation of my soul
Leaves me feeling so dirty and broken… out of control
Tired of you giving it away to people that don’t know
Flesh can be both equally hot as it is cold
Pressed against one another
How could we ever tell if we are really alive
Silently staring into each other’s eyes
The reflections not looking so well
Looking in… Looking into you
The void between everything growing thin
Looking in… Looking into your true self
The distance feels heavier than it should
Why is it so hard to remember
When it was that you left… Little Ghost…

Broken Thoughts

3 responses to “Fear Of Failure Is All I’ve Started…”

  1. tara caribou Avatar

    “Your love is a molestation of my soul
    Leaves me feeling so dirty and broken… out of control
    Tired of you giving it away to people that don’t know
    Flesh can be both equally hot as it is cold”

    That hits me hard, too. You so very often write out things that I think, but you say it in a much better way than I ever could. And then I don’t feel so lonely.

    Like

    1. chewingonglass Avatar

      Thank you… But you are the much superior writer when it comes to raw emotion… When I wrote it I was really feeling that first line down in my bones… and I didn’t turn away from that feeling… Because Tara wouldn’t turn away… You are defiantly not alone and you’re an inspiration to so many of us…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. tara caribou Avatar

        Indeed. Grab a hold and let it take you where it needs to go.

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